How can I build up the courage to actually talk to someone?

Question

Well I always seem to have trouble talking to some people...even ones i know. I can talk to my best friends, etc. but it seems people who aren't really my close firends i have trouble talking to.

I can't seem to be able to build up the courage to ask some people a simple question......

And if I can't ask a simple question i ay not even be able to ask out this one person.

How can I build up the courage to talk to someone?

Answer 1

ok we have established one thing, since your on this site your not anti social, so next on the agenda, loosen up, think about it, if you talk to somebody, what is the absolute worst thing that can happen? youll make a friend, a girlfriend, new friends, think about how you met the friends you have now, i bet you didnt do anything special, that is becuase youll get to meet all kinds of people everywhere, from nice people to jerk and thats where the fun part comes in, you can choose who you assimilate with. you make the choice. so take a deep breath in, then ask yourself what is the worst thing that could happen? Talk, humans are social creatures, we love to love and feel love back. dont be scared. confidence shows right away. if your not confident, look in the mirror and practice(silly i know) talking. it will help well good luck friend.

Answer 2

I have the same difficulty. I'm a dental hygienist so I have to talk to people and start conversations. I find it easier if I talk about general things like the weather, the news or current events. Usually those things get the conversation started and the other person will participate. Ask questions as well. For example this time of year ask if they started their Christmas shopping or if they have decorated yet. If your in a bar or at a party ask what they're drinking or their favorite drink. Make general statements. For example, winter is coming, I only like it when it snows on Christmas or snow is pretty if it didn't snow on the roads or sidewalks. Good luck!

Answer 3

I was super-shy when I was younger. The best advice I can give you is to join activities like sports or clubs that interest you, that way you can get more and more used to talking to new people, and have something in common.
It's a whole lot easier to open a conversation with someone if you are involved in the same activivty.
I also took classes at the local community college in public speaking. Did wonders for my shyness.

Answer 4

You just found the "courage" to write a question to how many thousands of people you've never met, so why conversation should be so difficult for you puzzles me.

You could stand in front of a mirror and practice conversations but that might seem a little odd to someone who might walk in and catch you at it! Although quite amusing...


Why don't you write out a cute little note to the person you want to ask out? Writing is becoming "extinct" and it can be so charming.
I'd be very pleased and impressed with someone who took the time to write me a note to ask me out, but I am old-fashioned, I guess.

Learn to relax and just be yourself and the rest will come easily for you. The best part of any conversation is learning to LISTEN. I'll bet that you are a tremendous listener, which is very impressive.

Hope this helps.

Good luck!

Answer 5

Imagine what you could say in such a conversation. Then when the opportunity arises, you'll already have a lot of ideas about what to say.

Also, practice doing it. The more you do it, the more comfortable you'll get.

You could also get one of your friends to help you. Perhaps you can ask your friend beforehand to get a conversation going for you with a stranger, and then give you the opportunity to contribute to the conversation.

Also, remember that many people enjoy talking about themselves. So people who are considered great conversationalists are often good listeners who ask questions that get the person to continue talking about him/herself.

Answer 6

I would say the best thing would be to have a store of interesting things to talk about and keep the conversation going. Act laid-back and confident (trust me, if you just act confident, you'll feel confident!) People will love talking to you if you are relaxed.

But mostly it just takes practice. I never practiced in front of a mirror...I did it on people! You aren't ever going to be talking to a mirror, so why practice on it? It will get easier with time.

Good luck!!!

Answer 7

If you say that you can converse freely with your best friends, then why not start talking to people in the company of your best friends at first. Try to indulge yourself in gropu discussions. REMEMBER, the person you are talking is not a demon who will devour you, for who knows he / she may be as reluctant as u are.
At the most you will be wrong in what u say, but then u will correct yourself and find that courage. YOU MADE A GREAT START BY POSTING THIS QUESTION IN THE FIRST PLACE.

Answer 8

Shyness is form of disability, start talking slowly with people you know. Be interested in people and their stories and try not to be too conscious about your self. Talk about simple things, movies, weather, pets, school, beauty. Do not start talking about subject you are not sure about it. Educate your self, it will build up your self esteem and confidence. Practice make you the best.

Answer 9

Imagine that the person is standing in his/her underwear. That will make it easier for you to walk up to them and talk with them.

Another idea would be to do some visualization: imagine you talking to them. Really try to visualize it happening and get in touch with how you feel. Try doing it over and over again until you feel comfortable with it.

Finally, ask yourself: what is the worst thing that would happen if I ask this person out? She or he might say no thank you. Part of life is taking chances and to get a 'no' from one person in the general scheme of things, isn't that bad.

Good luck!!

Answer 10

Believe in yourself & keep eye contact with the one you are speaking too. Be confident that the question you are asking is an intelligent one. Think first but do not be afraid to dive right in! Goodluck!