My boyfriend thinks our relationship got boring,what should I do?

Question

My boyfriend and I have been together for about 8 months, and we've been pretty serious,and we've been through everything together.We always talked about a future together(even tho were only 16) but then idk what happened...in the end of november he told me that this relationship had gotten boring and changed. He asked me if i still saw a future with him and i said yes but when I asked him the question he got really quite and said "is it a crime if i dont?" and i got really upset because he's my 1st real love and I feel like hes my soul mate. At the end of November he dumped me, but its not the first time he's done that to me he broke up with before, but he asked me back out in the beginning of Dec. But he says it still is boring, I love him to death and I really wanna work things out, We are considering on taking a break starting next week for 1 month to see how things go is that a bad idea or no? Any suggestions?

And he is always telling me we have nothing to talk about anymore, when he's the one who calls me! And he says he wants to see other people, but tell me why the previous times we broke up and he see's me flirting with other guys and one time I was about to go out with this other guy but he came running back to me, when he always ends our relationships.I think he just cant let go of me(which I dont mind) but he's the one complaining here saying the relationship is boring, i mean I've given him everything I can give someone...I dont think I can do much more...I wanna stay with him but at the same time I wonder why stay in a relationship if the other person is bored/unhappy? Sometimes I also wonder if he's just trying to make me happy by staying with me idk...

Answer 1

You need two people committed to a relationship for it to work. In your case there is one (1) person committed to the relationship. It is over.

Answer 2

Sweetheart, I know it doesn't feel like it, but you are too young for what you two are talking about. That's puppy love. You don't even know what you really like in a man and dislike in a man yet. I'm not saying go out and be promiscuous, but it is okay to date, have friends...you know test the water out. Couples that try to be so serious at such an early age, usually don't make it. By the time you are 21, you will have a whole different mind frame about things. More than likely, you will grow apart. I strongly recommend simple dating at your age, nothing serious. Once you find out who you really are, know your likes and dislikes, etc., it will cut out a lot of bull crap when you're ready for a long term relationship. The reason why your boyfriend is bored more than likely has nothing to do with you. He's very young and curious and probably wants to see what else is out there for him. That is perfectly normal. Let him spread his wings and you do the same. I know a few couples that got married straight out of high school. A few years later....divorce.

Answer 3

There are two possible reasons that come to mind as to why your boyfriend is doing this. The first one is that he doesn't want to purchase a Christmas gift for you and so he is saying these things to get off the hook until after the holidays. The second one is that he is young and wants to explore his options, but he is too immature to say this so he is trying to make the situation about you and by doing so cause you to doubt yourself and feel insecure about who you are. Either way, you need to understand that this is not about you at all and don't take anything that he does or says personally. Switch things around on him and say that you have been feeling bored with him as well and would like to take an extended break. Then focus on your wonderful self and become the best person you can be in life and before you know it, before you will be standing God's best!

Answer 4

Long distance relationships are very challenging that is why the divorce rate is so high for our brave military members. You only have 8 weeks. I say drop all the problems and complaining. Start tomorro by making these 8 weeks the best ever. Try to say only positive things. Dont whine about not seeing him or him being away. Talk about fun things like the march madness bb games and other cool things. Send him things in the mail like a thong and other things to make him miss you. Take pics of you at the park or other places around town that are really cool. Dont tell him your feelings, dont ask him if he loves you etc. wait to do it in person. Chances are high that the minute he sees you the old feelings will come back. If they dont then you know you gave it your all. I wish you well.

Answer 5

first off, i do know on and off relationships dont work out, ive never dated but that doesnt mean i dont watch and learn from other people. if you two really care about each other, talk about it, find out what makes it boring.

Try to work it out and try new things. but again you are young, i believe 16 is an age where you dont wanna be planning your future with someone is WAY to soon. Your life has just begun, you dont want to end it. I may be 19 but I do realize that there are things a young person might want to experience and do before committing themself entirely to one person.

If things dont work out this last time if you choose to take him back, leave it be, at least for a while. let things settle down until the two of you think it can work out for now and for good. until then. good luck

Answer 6

The thing is, to keep a relationship going and full of interest, an effort has to be made on both parts. He can't expect you to do it by yourself. Another thing to keep in mind, is that after so long the lust of the relationship goes away, but if it's right the love remains. And that means there are going to be boring, and difficult times. But it's up to both of you to work through it and prove you're dedicated. Talk to him, tell him you want it to be better, but let him know you can't do it by yourself. You both need to come up with ways together to make it better. That's the only way it'll work. It takes two people to make a relationship, and it takes two people to make it work.

Answer 7

Wow, i know exactly what your going through (kinda).. Umm, put it this way. If he loves you, he loves all of you.. and he wont ever try to change you. Dont change for him, because if he really loved you he would love you no matter what happened. Plus, he already said he might not see a future. Maybe this is a time to just move on and find a guy that would treat you a whole lot better. Its gonna be hard to move on, but your gonna get over him soon enough.

Answer 8

People change. Feelings change as people change. Maybe what you are going to do would be a good thing to do. If things work out ...fine. But if they don't then move on and let things remain as they are at present. If he feels bored then nothing you do is going to change him. After all, people seldom end up with their first love. I didn't. My first girlfriend and I dated for 2 years and one day I pulled up in front of her house and walked up to the door and knocked. She opened the door after a minute or two and told me straight out, "I don't love you anymore." Then she closed the door. I was devastated. But I could never change her and I didn't try. Sometimes it is hard to move on but time heals all wounds and you reach the point where you can move on. I did. So can you.

Answer 9

This may sound harsh and I don't think you'll wanna hear it, but you should find a guy that'll treat you better. There are still plenty of fish in the sea. If you really still want it to work out with him, ask him what you're doing that makes him think the relationship is boring, and go from there. Good luck.

Answer 10

Honest answer?

Start treating him like crap, stand him up, say you'll call then don't. You're too predictable because you're genuine, reliable and caring. And he needs some crap thrown at him.

Say he used to look better in whatever pants, sweater, whatever... tell him he looks like his hairline is receding.

Tell him you want a gift then tell him it's the wrong color, too small, make up something creative.

He doesn't want to be married for life, right now. And neither should you.

Have some fun, mess with his head a little. It's what he wants.

Answer 11

I don't think "bored" is the right word. Sounds more like "scared" than anything. However, if it is bored, what is he finding boring and what can you 2 do to resolve the issue. Taking a break is not the way to initiate communication or conversation on these issues.