they come to me looking to borrow money because they need food or something.then they will use the guilt trip on me to make me feel bad for them.i am getting so tierd of it that i rather not be around them but it hurts.they used and abused me for their needs then they just push me aside until the next time.
2006-12-15 11:04:18 · 7 answers · asked by marion m 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
"No one can take advantage of you without your consent." ~ Eleanor Roosevelt
I think what this quote means is that it is totally within your power to allow or not allow others' guilt trips to work on you and thus be taken advantage of.
If you don't want it, don't allow it. Unless you like to feel like a martyr.
2006-12-15 11:13:14 · answer #1 · answered by LindaLou 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe suggest family counseling. I'm saying this from experience, please don't take this in a derogatory way. My mother's parents are emotionally abusive, and are constantly laying guilt trips on my mother. She's come to the point where she has told them she won't allow them to visit unless they agree to a family session with her therapist. It's a boundaries issue. If you're an adult, then they should respect your boundaries. Of course, you should firmly set up your boundaries as well. Have you talked to them? If they don't know that this isn't acceptable to you, they're not likely to stop.
2006-12-15 19:09:14 · answer #2 · answered by Viki 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This may sound harsh but, sometimes family can be the major thing dragging you down in life. If your family can't understand that they have to stop leaning on you for every little thing, then they are honestly not helping you and your situation. You have got to learn to say NO, your family may try to use you until you have nothing left and when you're in their situation they'll forget about you. Sit them all down and have a talk with them.
2006-12-15 19:22:48 · answer #3 · answered by RoyalsBball 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Grow a spine tell them **** off. Or you will be doing this the rest of your life you door-mat. By the way I would gladly pay you Tuesday for a hamburger today......
2006-12-15 20:40:11 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
here is what you do.
my son has the same problems.
i told him the same thing I'm telling you.
be nice and say, "I'd really like to give you the money but I'm really strapped right now myself. maybe another time when i get back on my feet."
you worked for it, it is your money. you do not have to keep your family informed on your financial affairs. keep them to yourself in the future!
2006-12-15 19:09:28 · answer #5 · answered by KRIS 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
One word, two letters "NO" and walk away. The only way they CAN use the "guild trip" on you is if YOU allow them to.
2006-12-15 19:31:44 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to take care of you.......they need to grow up and make it own their own.
2006-12-15 19:07:27 · answer #7 · answered by Monte T 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋