How should I proceed with a girl I like who has low self esteem?

Question

Here's the story. There's this girl I'm attracted to who is very nice, funny, thoughtful, and has a pretty face. She is very negative about her weight, however. I don't think she's that fat, but she sometimes calls herself 'worthless' and a 'cow' and I feel bad for her. She doesn't know I like her but I'm afraid if I try and ask her out she will shy away because from what she says guys won't go out with her because she's overweight. I actually like her plus sized figure, she's not morbidly obese or anything. How can I be sensitive when asking her out? What would be a tactful and appropriate thing to say?

Answer 1

Sounds like she has a very negative view of herself. If she is not happy with herself, she'll drag you down, too. Since you're a nice person, you'll inevitably put a lot of energy into making her feel good. However, she won't know how to make herself happy by herself. Wait until she can stand (happily) on her own two feet, then consider her AND your other options too. You can help her on this journey, and/or she can speak with a mentor or professional. For now, be a good friend. Someone who has a low self-esteem cannot make you as happy as someone who is happy already.

Answer 2

Some people just think they are fat and its nothing you can do to convince them they aren't. She probably needs to get counseling to help her. Just be supportive, but unless she gets help her self image wont change.

Answer 3

bring her coffee in the morning and strike up a conversation and eventually you will ask her to go out on a date

Answer 4

You seem to have a good way of thinking. Be honest and go for it.

Answer 5

Just say something to make her feel good!