my fuse is about to blow?

Question

okay I have 3 young children, a husband, and im a full time nursing student. lately i have been really short fused with them. I know it's not my childrens fault that im a wack job right about now, but it seems as if they love to work that nerve. when im not doing anything they are fine but time i need to use the phone or am on the computer they go to acting like cavemen. Fighting, screaming, messing up, etc. Pls help help me to understand why QUICKLY BEFORE I PULL OUT MY HAIR.

Answer 1

It sounds like you have way to much stress!! Try to put the kids to bed early and take a ling bath, or go on a walk. It helped me.

Answer 2

First take a breather. I went to school full-time and worked-full time with my girls so I can get what you are saying. Very very very challenging and difficult. First thing first, kids are kids. They are naturally crazy hyper and wild. What I do now cause they do work that nerve still is literally leave the room, take a breath, and I don't know if you believe in God or what but I will say a quick short prayer (has to be quick cause the kids are going crazy) and I at the end thank the Lord for my kids and my life and I go back in that room and feel more in control of the situtation cause I took a quick minute for me. Also, maybe after you put the kids to bed like 8 or 9 then you can use that time to talk on the phone or the computer. My kids get crazy if I am on the phone too long or computer because they missed me and want my attention.

Answer 3

Wow! For a second there, I thought you were me! LOL...I have three children (8,6 and 2) and am a full-time student after a degree in science. My husband is very rare around here, and sometimes I really do feel like I'm going to blow my top.

I think what happens is that the others in my family (and maybe yours) just don't realize the ammount of concentration and time that needs to go into schoolwork. (I often offer to let my husband take my Biology tests for me, but he refuses).

Simply put, you're stressed out! (as if you didn't know)....and fixing it is easier said than done.

Is your husband around when you need to do your schoolwork or be on the phone? If he is, then he needs to step up and handle the children. When he's not around, perhaps a "reward system" might work. Before you need to make your phone calls, sit the kids down, and offer them some type of reward (like a movie rental, or their favorite snack) if they are quiet during that time.

Most importantly...you are entitled to some "Mommy time"...take a nice quiet bath, or go for a long walk by yourself..it's OK for you to be "off duty" for a little while. Don't be afraid to put your foot down. To put it this way....if you get a little relaxation time, you'll be less likely to blow a fuse at your kids and/or your husband.
Also, if they're old enough, perhaps you can set aside some time during the day for them to do a daily chore, like cleaning their rooms, or febreezing the furniture..etc.., and give them a chore that puts them in separate rooms, so they won't argue.

You are not a "wack job"...you're just trying to do what you think is best for your family by furthering your education, and I respect you for that. It's a hard job.

Answer 4

OK, some very good answers have been given, but let's get real. Ask your husband to help more??? Yeah, right. We all know that's a useless endeavor. Alone time when they go to bed??? Uh huh...just as soon as the dishes are done, the laundry is finished, the lunches are made up for the next day, the dog is walked, the bills are paid, the homework is done, etc. etc.

Sorry, my dear, I know what you're going through. You asked to help you understand why the kids act like that. It's because they want (need) your attention. Don't beat yourself up about it. You're doing the best you can, and there's not a thing wrong with it.

As hard as it is to find some "spare" time, try to set aside 20-30 minutes a week for some one-on-one time with each child. You'll see a world of difference in the way they act. And you'll feel much differently about your situation, too!

Hang in there.

Answer 5

When you feel stressed or angry at them, remember that they are doing it because they love you and want your attention. You have a lot of responsibilities right now and probably don't get a lot of down time with them. Kids do that with the phone all the time. They will keep asking questions while on the phone for your attention. When my son was younger, I would get up an hour early to have alone time for me. Use the computer, etc. while he was still sleeping so that he could have my undivided attention while he was awake.
Your kids won't be with you forever and one day you will miss those interruptions. You always want them to know that you are there for them. If you are on the phone simply tell the person you are talkingto.......just a minute, address the situation with the kids quickly and then get back to the conversation.
Make sure and make time for yourself.......sounds like you have a lot of stress!

Answer 6

I think kids have a radar that goes off whenever you are busy doing something. Mine do the same thing. I literally walk off and take a breath. That's all I can do at this point. But I really think some kids have the instinct to get on your last nerves when you are doing important work. You probably already do this, but I take them out of the house and spend quality time with them anywhere outside of the house (park, movies, etc). They seem to be less needy and relieved of energy when I do this. Good luck, and know you aren't alone with the hair pulling! LOL

Answer 7

Talk with your husband and let him know you need him to help out more.Set priorities and try to stick to bedtime routines for the kids so you get some study time.If your parents or inlaws live nearby maybe they would help out with the kids.Try get to the library for quiet study time.I don't know how old your children are but maybe you could let them know how hard it is for mommy to be going back to school and take care of everything. Do what you can, have your hubby pick up the slack and give the children chores.Try get some time for yourself just to unwind with your hubby so you can feel "normal" again. You are stressed right now but hang in there it will all be woth it.

Answer 8

You are not alone. I am a single, working mom. This time of year is especially stressful. One thing that helps me when I have a short fuse with my daughter is to make sure to apologize to her. That helps. I also search for reasons why I get short fused sometimes. I know that, like someone mentioned, time by yourself is important. I know it is probably impossible, but allow yourself time to wind-down whenever possible. I wish I could be more helpful.

Answer 9

Take a break, you deserve it. Step outside now. If you're busy let them wreck the house for a few minutes. I've been there. You will blow a fuse if you don't just take the time. Make yourself some coffee, have a cocktail, step outside and just breathe. I hope your husband is helping you whenever he can. You are working too hard by yourself.

Answer 10

i'm glad that you recognize is not the children, you may need a break.... remember how old your kids are and that all the are doing is burning their own energy- nothing agains you, kids love you unconditionally. at night try breathing slowly to calm you (when the kids are sleep) learn how to relax yourself, because your kids may not behave maturly for a while, ask them in a good and calm way to give you 5min is silence (THAT IS REALISTIC TIME) dont yell at them in a annoyed manner that will just put the against you. sorry about what is going on and i hope you can find peace for a while..... and understand at least your kids are healthy and able to play and talk and run....