Do Any of You Atheists out There fake Being Religious Because of Social Pressures?

Question

A friend of mine moved to a small town where the church is "the" only social/community meeting place. When he moved up there originally, the neighbors put pressure on him and his family to join the local church. They just assumed he would join.

So not wanting to be outsiders in a small town, he played along. Proclaiming himself an atheist would have meant him and his family being ostracized. Pretty rough in a small town.

Funny thing is that, now that he's a member, he's found out that half the congregation are atheists like him and are also just members because of the pressure to conform and socialize.

Anybody else have a similar experience?

This also goes for the workplace.

Answer 1

The primary function of a church is social, whether in small towns or big cities. Witness the "megachurches" with coffee houses, gyms, pools, etc.

Your friend is lucky to find people willing to open themselves up about their beliefs. That can happen in New England, where I now live, but not in the South, where I grew up. When there is only one church option in town, it will attract a broader range of beliefs than when there is some competition. In this instance, it's probably beneficial to not have two or more churches, each working to out maneuver the other on righteousness.

Personally, I'm open when the topic comes up, but I also have a spiritual component in my life that I'm willing to discuss: the sense of connection to other persons and to nature that is possible. This is not theistic, nor extra-biological. It's simply the experience that people have when they love one another and their world.

Answer 2

Here in the south, where I live, local politicians start public meetings with a Christian prayer (before city council meetings, county commission meetings, etc.). This behavior of course would get them crucified by the ACLU if it were in a blue state.

So, as an atheist, you'd think I would lose my freakin' mind over this and complain, right?

NOT...

The problem with too many atheists these days is that they can't just shut their traps and be respectful for 30 seconds while Christians have their prayer. They get all "offended" or indignant. You know what, chuckles? Show me where it says in the Constitution that you have the RIGHT to go through life UNOFFENDED...

Do I pray along with them? No. Does it piss me off that they pray? No. I just shut my mouth and stand there quietly until they're done. Why? SIMPLE COURTESY. Just be polite and be happy that praying gives a large group of people some sort of comfort. Why do you have to pee all over that with your selfish, exaggerated indignation?

Answer 3

That's nuts! I've never been in a situation that extreme. I did have to go to my cousin's nondenominational Christian church in VA for Easter. It's one of those "cool" churches with rock music, light shows, teenagers with piercings and a Pastor "dude". We had to socialize with people afterward and I either kept my mouth shut or nodded when people asked if I liked the sermon. When I'm on their turf, I'm not going to be the black cloud that talks about atheism. I took part in some Christian activities that weekend because my cousin wanted me to but I would never join up just to keep from being ostracized. I can only lie about something like that for so long. If they don't like me then screw them. I don't need to be friends with jerks.

Answer 4

I attend a private Catholic university. It really stinks when everyone is asked to bow their heads in prayer. I don't want to offend them so I go along. Every classroom has crucifixes and there are large pictures of nuns in the hallways. I just ignore most of it. Mass is not required and many types of people attend this school. It doesn't offend me too much b/c I know I'm lucky to attend a great school with 2 scholarships and a grant. Sometimes you have to make a few sacrifices. It sounds like your friend isn't alone anyway.

Answer 5

In high school, I allowed friends to beleive I was Christian although I never acted like it. I didn't think they'd understand it when I explained I thought their beliefs were stupid.

I think my experiences and the experiences of your friend is pretty common, actually. I meet a lot of "atheists" who won't use the term, or even call themselves "realist Christians", so that they fit in to a Church or other social group so they get all the non-religious benefits of it.

Answer 6

Amazing isn't it, that people will answer your question with a 'no' to get 2 points when the entire point of the question was to try and generate discussion of experiences?

I personally haven't had to do that, and I don't think I would lie about something I'm proud of in order to 'fit in', but I can see where someone might have to. I did know a man who was an ordained minister and who badly needed work, so even though he had become agnostic years previous, went ahead and allowed himself to be hired by a church as their minister and ministered to them for years, telling them EXACTLY what he knew they wanted to hear. All that hellfire/damnation/sin crap that they needed to make themselves feel righteous he gave them by the barrel. Pretty cynical of him to preach things he absolutely thought were nonsense, but he needed the work to feed his family, so what was he going to do? I wonder how often THAT happens out there...

Answer 7

Nope. I stopped going to church when I left Christianity for deism. I certainly won't go back now that I'm an atheist. I wouldn't feel that I was being honest with myself.

Now, if I was invited to a wedding, or a christening, or something like that, I would probably go for a friend or a relative. But, no... I would not pretend to be religious.

Answer 8

I couldn't do it, but when I left my last church (bible believing, evangelical...) on becoming an atheist, I discovered that of those members of the congregation I was close enough to talk to confidentially, roughly one third did not believe but valued the community, the belonging, to the point of being prepared to say and do the "right things" in order to continue being accepted.

Answer 9

I can easily understand someone doing this in a scenario like the one you outlined. I decided a few years ago to never do that myself. I live in a country that counts freedom of religion among its most cherished traditions. I am a moral person who tries to be a good citizen, give to my community, support law and order by following the laws we have set for ourselves, and respect the rights of others, including my religious neighbors. Therefore, there's no reason why I should pretend to be something I'm not, as though it's something to be ashamed of. I vowed not to live by fear.

Answer 10

Good question. I was born Christian, was baptised and went to church untill my mid-teens. But when I was finally on my own, I couldn't take it anymore. I remember being 6 years old and in Sunday School and thinking to myself, "This is just the silliest crap I've ever heard!"
So when I was finally on my own, I embraced Evolution, Secular Humanism and Free Thinking. I am now happy without all the silly fairy tales about some big guy in the sky.