Can friendship ever be real?

Question

This question was posted in Family and friendship category but I realised I wanted to ask the question in a spiritual environment. Thanks
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How do we define friendship? How do we aim to prevent our selves from being disappointed or getting hurt especially if you keep getting it wrong?

A spiritualist/meditator answered this question by saying that when you meet someone that has potential of being a friend, then you ask yourself these questions:

Can this person be a friend;
An acquaintance;
A contact;
Someone you say hello and good bye to;
or someone you walk past if you see them again?

Your instinct should be able to tell which category the potential friend fits into. What you do you think? How do you decide?

Answer 1

Real friends are for life...some are coworkers or just acquainstances....my oldest dearest friend is 800 mi away and we still write and ive known her since 1960!!

Answer 2

Yes friendship can be real. I've been hanging with my first cousin my whole life and though as a child I moved every few months until I was 12 I still hang with my 2 best friends from then and also have a couple more I've picked up along the way that I love very much.
Someone who comes when you call for help. Someone who loves you even when you are wrong and is not afraid to tell you you are wrong or that those pants make your butt look big if they do. Someone that forgives you when you hurt them and still loves you and comes when you call. Someone that is happy when you get a raise or buy a house. Meets you at the vet when you have your dog put down as he is suffering and cries with you. Someone on your side. Someone that prays for you. You can tell them things and know that no one else will ever know unless you are the one to tell it. I will say that having a like faith helps but not imperative.

Answer 3

First, when I first meet somebody, I don't go through some list asking what the relationship shall be. That's plain presumptuous. You have no way at all of knowing.

I'll describe a few friendships I've had over the years.

The first, and perhaps the sweetest is my friend Peggy. We were going to a support group for a while, and for the first few meetings, we didn't talk. When I looked at her though, I knew that I wanted to get to know her. Finally, we spoke and we realized that we had much in common. Through the years, the relationship has grown and changed and waxed and waned, but we still love each other, and know undoubtedly that we are able to count on each other.

Then there is another friend, who I met at a different sort of meeting. The spark of interest wasn't as strong as the first, and while we have a great deal in common, it's not with the same intensity as the first. Still, each of us knows that we can count on each other, and when helping other acquaintances together, we each know almost instinctively what the other's thoughts or advice might be. No-one can play us off of each other as we are so unified in our thoughts.

I guess that's what a real friend is to me. You almost know what their answer will be, or how they will help if you need it. You don't have to worry about asking too much because you know where that limit is. You know too that you would be willing to go at lest as far as you are asking.

There are other people who may think of you as friends, because you are there for them. You are willing to help, but you certainly know that you would never depend on them. In my experience, there are quite a few of this sort of people. Still, you treat them with generosity, hoping that they will grow.

The ones I would walk past without greeting are rare. I don't think it would last forever either. Only until I deal with my own reasons for being rude.

Answer 4

Actually, you don't make the decision. The friend to be makes the decision with words and actions. trust takes time to build, because as we live, we learn that many people are false friends, and selfishness rules their inner being, and sometimes can go undetected for awhile. But eventually the ugliness surfaces, and the truth is known. Instinct does tell you if there is potential friendship, but time is the judge.

Answer 5

Hmmmm.....
Rather 'sharp' way to look at someone when you first meet them.
First off, let's assume we are starting this relationship from scratch and you know nothing about the other person.

Everyone has the right to consider themselves first, even you.
No one has the right to affect the other regardless.
No two people will ever be 'perfect' for each other.

I'd rather look at it this way;
"Is this..............."
Someone who I want to know better
Someone that I have not decided about yet
Someone that is too close
Someone that I never want to meet again


I have had 'friends' that have done some very amazing things against me, in the name of every imaginable cause/ reason.

I have had 'acquaintances' offer to help when some of those I considered 'friends' walked away.

Answer 6

Dear it is a hard thing to advise. I have loads of friends. I would say just be honest with people try to be helpful and truthful and frinships will develop. Now if you are talking about romantic friendship that is a diffirent set of rules you have to play. If you just want to be friends drop me an email anytime I can always use another friend. Kisses Betty

Answer 7

A simple friend identifies himself when he calls.
A real friend doesn't have to.

A simple friend opens a conversation with a full news bulletin on his life.
A real friend says, "What's new with you?

A simple friend thinks the problems you whine about are recent.
A real friend says, "You've been whining about the same thing for 14 years. Get off your duff and do something about it."

A simple friend has never seen you cry.
A real friend has shoulders soggy from your tears.

A simple friend doesn't know your parents' first names.
A real friend has their phone numbers in his address book.

A simple friend brings a bottle of wine to your party.
A real friend comes early to help you cook and stays late to help you clean.

A simple friend hates it when you call after he has gone to bed.
A real friend asks you why you took so long to call.

A simple friend seeks to talk with you about your problems.
A real friend seeks to help you with your problems.

A simple friend wonders about your romantic history.
A real friend could blackmail you with it.

A simple friend, when visiting, acts like a guest.
A real friend opens your refrigerator and helps himself.

A simple friend thinks the friendship is over when you have an argument.
A real friend knows that it's not a friendship until after you've had a fight.

A simple friend expects you to always be there for them.
A real friend expects to always be there for you!

Answer 8

All I can say is...true friendship does exist but is extremely hard to find. Friends that help you do good things in life are the best of friends. So if they help you collect good deeds..then they have surely helped you out as those deeds will be helpful even after death. But if your friends make you do bad...then woe to you...

Answer 9

John 15:15
No longer do I call you servants, for the servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all that I have heard from my Father I have made known to you.

(What a guy!)

Jesus is the truth, the way and the life!

"Hear O Israel, the Lord is our God, the Lord is One"

(Shema Yisrael Adonai eloheinu Adonai ehad)

Answer 10

A friend is someone who shares common values.
Of course when you know what those values are, the friendship can last.
It's when you are fooling yourself about what those values are, that friendships end bad.
You both miss represented yourselves to each other.
You thought you were getting someone else.
That is why the advice "Know thyself" works so well.