My boyfriend thinks that telling him who I've had sex with, what positions, where it happened and what I was wearing is perfectly normal. He sees it as a couple sharing and being intimate. I'm incredibly uncomfortable with this and when I don't want to answer his questions he says I'm keeping secrets and being loyal to my ex-boyfriends/lovers. For the record I've never asked him these questions and have no need to know. All I care about is our present and future. Please let me know what you think.
2006-12-15 08:54:42 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
My boyfriend thinks that telling him who I've had sex with, what positions, where it happened and what I was wearing is perfectly normal. He sees it as a couple sharing and being intimate. I'm incredibly uncomfortable with this and when I don't want to answer his questions he says I'm keeping secrets and being loyal to my ex-boyfriends/lovers. We've discussed the important bits as it retains to health concerns and what made us happy or unhappy, but I feel that the level of detail he requires borders on the obsessive. For the record I've never asked him these questions and have no need to know. All I care about is our present and future. Please let me know what you think.
2006-12-15 09:11:17 · update #1
You are in a dangerous situation. Your "boyfriend" is going through a process whereby he can be in total control of you. For him to expect your response to this kind of questioning may indicate a very unhealthy disposition toward women. It certainly shows a lack of self-esteem in himself. In order for him to feel important, he must be supremely above all of your past experiences. This is NOT his business.
A mature, loving man does not put his girlfriend through a trial. That is exactly what he is doing, it is an inquisition. Do NOT be trapped by him. There are many good men who have enough respect for themselves and enough self-esteem that they would NEVER ask these questions of a lady.
Again, get out of this potentially dangerous relationship as soon as you can. If is is too difficult for you, get counseling. Almost every town has counseling services. Some are free, and others charge according to your income. The discussions with them are private, and you do not to have serious mental health problems to see a counselor. Do not be ashamed to talk to someone about this. You say all you care about is your present and future. The "our" is not good for you. Please take my advice, because this type of man may become very physically and verbally abusive. He may ruin your self-esteem, so that you actually believe you deserve abuse.
The questions he asks are a form of abuse. Act now, get help.
2006-12-15 09:10:13 · answer #1 · answered by intrepid 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is totally very well to invite him approximately his beyond sexual historical past. His well being will impact your well being, so ask some thing you desire to. It could even be a well suggestion for you each to head and get an STI & HIV verify too. Even if you're a virgin, you will have to get it performed, due to the fact this suggests him you've gotten a mutual appreciate for either one of your well being stipulations. Have him photocopy his outcome for you, and also you do the identical. However, he isn't obliged to conform or reveal all this know-how to you. And, if he does not, or if he makes a tremendous fuss approximately it, do not strain him. But that maybe a excellent possibility so that you can see his precise colors and query whether or not or no longer he's the proper character you will have a dating with and lose your virginity to. All the exceptional...
2016-09-03 15:16:51 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I do not agree with your boyfriend when he said you are keeping secrets and being loyal to your past boyfriends. (it sounds like your boyfriend has some insecurities). On the other-hand, I do feel it is okay to know about past relationships and getting to know each other but not as explicit as knowing the other persons name.
Just let your boyfriend know that you do not feel comfortable with the questions he is asking. Maybe you should start asking him questions as well; such as let's go take a HIV test together then maybe he will stop asking you explicit details and focus on your relationship.
2006-12-15 09:24:51 · answer #3 · answered by leelaj7 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Guys are always comparing themselves to other guys. We're competitive. He just wants to hear from you that he is greatest lover you have ever had and all the others were little boys compared to him. He also may get turned on by having you describe your past to him. If you feel uncomfortable about sharing those experiences, see my first answer.
2006-12-15 09:00:53 · answer #4 · answered by larry r 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can totally understand the need to share sexual history with someone you plan on haven it with. You need to.....you have to...for each others healths sake. But after a sertain point your sharing because you want to for what ever reason...because you want to i say again. Not cuz someones pushing you to reveal . What is very private and sacret to you is yours! Those experiences shaped who you are today. Thats special. Share em cuz you want or keep em close to your heart. Sounds like he's just trying to git his freak on. Don't let him guilt you into that eeww!!
2006-12-15 09:20:10 · answer #5 · answered by Hallie Ray 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nobody should kiss and tell about their experiences. Firstly it is a very private matter and secondly it's not your partners business. In reality you don't even have to give names just be honest and let him know that you have been with others and maybe even the number of ex sex partners but no details.
2006-12-15 09:04:09 · answer #6 · answered by crazylegs 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
uhmm he has the right.. doesn't mean he's going to get an answer or at least socked right in the face. it's one thing to have an open discussion about who you have been with (for obvious safety reasons)..and second, as far as it should really go..is basically "hey baby, what did someone do that drove you crazy" not who was it.. where did it happen, and all the intimate details, b/c that's just CREEPY!!!!
2006-12-15 09:04:04 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
He's a little pus sy . Go find a real man who doesn't give a crap who you've banged or how many. Sounds like he's a momma's boy and you sound like you're 13.
2006-12-15 08:59:00 · answer #8 · answered by Chris from West LA 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I have been in that situation before & when I fianally gave in he always rub it in my faces with the guys I have been with. I suggest not telling him. They say that they don't care & won't bring it up, it's a lie.
2006-12-15 09:29:47 · answer #9 · answered by tx lady 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think that he has no rite 2 do this because ur sexual history is ur buisness and him asking u all these questions probally means he's controlling !!!
2006-12-15 08:59:56 · answer #10 · answered by Asia B 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋