what's the BEST JOKE you know?

Answer 1

An Irishman, a Mexican and a blonde guy were doing construction work on scaffolding on the 20th floor of a building. They were eating lunch and the Irishman said, "Corned beef and cabbage. If I get corned beef and cabbage one more time for lunch I'm going to jump off this building." The Mexican opened his lunch box and exclaimed, "Burritos again! If I get burritos one more time I'm going to jump off, too." The blonde opened his lunch and said, "Bologna again. If I get a bologna sandwich one more time, I'm jumping too."
The next day the Irishman opened his lunch box, saw corned beef and cabbage and jumped to his death. The Mexican opened his lunch, saw a burrito and jumped too. The blonde guy opened his lunch, saw the bologna and jumped to his death as well.
At the funeral the Irishman's wife was weeping. She said, "If I'd known how really tired he was of corned beef and cabbage, I never would have given it to him again!" The Mexican's wife also wept and said,"I could have given him tacos or enchiladas! I didn't realize he hated burritos so much." Everyone turned and stared at the blonde's wife. "Hey, don't look at me," she said, "He makes his own lunch."

Answer 2

There are these four gay lovers, they all live together and get freaky with one another. One night on the way home from work one gets in an accident and dies, the other three gay lovers have him cremated, and split the ashes into three urns. They decide to each take next weekend away from one another to do what they see fit with lover's ashes.

That following Sunday night they all came back, and they asked one another what they did with the lover's ashes

The first guy said, "I took them to our favorite cliff by the beach, and spread his ashes into the wind."

The second guy said, "I took lover's ashes to our favorite spot at the Grand Canyon, and spread the ashes into the wind."

Then the first two gay guys asked the third lover what he did with the ashes. The third lover then said, "I made a really hot and spicy pot of chili and put the ashes in."

The other two lovers exclaimed, "WHAT, WHY?!?"

The third lover then said, "So he could tear this *** up one last time!"

Answer 3

After no dates or sex for 5 years a woman goes 2 see a chinese sex therapist Dr Chang....He says " take off all your clothes ,get down and crawl reery reery fast to otha side of room"....she does...."ok craw back reery reey fast bac "....As she did this Dr Chang shook his head "your problem very very bad,worse case of Ed Zachery disease i have ever seen,i see why you get no dates"....She says "oh no whats Ed Zachery disease"....Dr Chang replies " its when your face looks Ed Zachery like your backside"

Answer 4

you need 5 pennies but 2 down on the table (ALL heads up) then you ask; Do you see any fruit there ?(pointing at the pennies) they say no you say a pare add another penny then ask Do you see any snakes there? they say no you say 3 copper heads put another penny down then ask Do you see any cars there? the answer 4 Lincolns put the last penny down and ask DO you SEE any sex there?? when they say no you say AND YOU WON'T for 5 cents!!!! as you swipe them off the table in to your hand! HE HE HA HA HO HO I thought it was funny!

Answer 5

http://mit.edu/levitsky/www/jokes.html