my younger brother, my cousin and i live together. my cousin is also younger than me but he would not listen to what i say. the thing is he is beyond messy. he would never clean up after his own mess. he doesnt wash the dishes for weeks, he never put stuff back after use, he would never help cleaning the house or any of the chores and so on.. we tried to talk to him about it but he just doesnt care. its painful living with him. he was gonna move out two months ago so my brother and i thought we could take it since it was temporary. but now hes changed his mind and decided to stay. we cant tell him we want him to move or show anything like we dont wanna live with him becuz he is family.. IS THERE ANYTHING THAT WE CAN DO TO MAKE HIM WANT TO MOVE OUT WITHOUT LETING HIM KNOW THAT WE ACTUALLY WANT HIM TO?
2006-12-15 08:31:36 · 12 answers · asked by christine c 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I had the same problem with a family friend that was pretty much a sister to me- her and her b/f were living with us, took an hour shower EVERY morning, that was ok, cept other than those two there were 4 other adults and 2 children in the house, with only one bathroom. After their shower they would leave wet towels on the floor, their dirty clothes in the hamper, and, ugh, nasty long hair in the drain, on the toilet and on the floor, god... They would eat our food and not buy any. ok so one day they went and got one gallon of milk and a bag of oreos, oh and a gallon of chocolate ice cream saying they had gotten the "essentials"
They would never do the dishes, or their laundry, causing us to do it for them since it had to get out of our way. They used all the toothpaste, and always claimed never to have any money for bills yet every week filled up a whole 30gal garbage bin with empty beer bottles-
So since they wanted to act like children, we all treated them like children, every day when they came home we told them what had to be done, and to do it "today" if their laundry was not getting done, we bagged it into a plastic bag and threw it outside in the back yard. When we cooked dinner, we did not make enough for them, I made them a shopping list and DUCTaped it to the refrigerator, so every day they were reminded that they had to go to store. They moved out a week later :) !!
2006-12-15 09:16:41 · answer #1 · answered by allaboutme_333 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In a word NO!!! What you have to do is not easy it is called BITE THE BULLET, or STEP UP TO THE PLATE.
What you are facing is your personal fear. Fear of his reaction, that he will totally ignore you and on top of that, be reactive in a negative way (sarcastic retribution). You and your brother will have to privately discuss at length, just how far you are willing to go . Maybe other members of your family will get mad at you. Is that likely to happen? Perhaps he is with you because no one else will tolerate his behavior. Yes, he is FAMILY, however you do NOT have to sacrifice your peace of mind for his comfort.
What this really amounts to is just how much you are willing to take from him. You and your brother will have to work through your fears of how he and others may react. You have already done too much for him. In taking care of him, you are not being fair to him! He needs to be responsible for himself. You are not responsible for his well-being.
Please read this with a lot of thought and if there is anyway you can get counseling about this, do it. There are counseling services in almost every city and town, and I strongly urge you and your brother to talk to a counselor about this. Many of the counseling services are free, or charge a small fee, depending on your income.
Please do not wait. For your own mental health, you need to get this resolved. Good Luck and God Bless...
2006-12-15 16:57:56 · answer #2 · answered by intrepid 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Pack his stuff up, explain to his parents why you and your brother are doing this, then explain it to him. Tell him to leave on his own or you'll change the locks. Whose name is the lease in? This might help. Give him a certain amount of time, such as a week, then if he doesn't straighten up and/or comply be firm and move his stuff back home to his folks house.
2006-12-15 16:39:41 · answer #3 · answered by Laurie K 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell him that if he is gonna live in your house then he has to listen to u and what u say and if he still doesnt listen then find him a job and when he gets enough money for a house hell be out of your hair
2006-12-15 16:39:02 · answer #4 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is not for the faint of heart, but if you REALLY want him to move out, do the following:
Designate chores for everyone!
When he does not do his chores, come down on him commando style!
Tell him that he HAS to do it, because of everyone else is doing their part! seriously, you need to enforce your rules!
If he gets mad, big deal! do not give up and continue to badger him until you wear him out!
He will probably change, btu he is more likely to move out! lol!
Believe me, sweetie, he is taking full advantage of you! he has taken your kindness for weakness! its time to grow a backbone!
Goodluck!
2006-12-15 17:43:50 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Pack his bags and put them outside and change the locks! And leave a note saying it was either you or the cockroaches.
2006-12-15 16:35:05 · answer #6 · answered by Whos your mama? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just tell him. Sure, it will hurt his feelings but he needs to reconize his faults. Plus he had made plans to move out so he should. That's just fair.
2006-12-15 17:05:08 · answer #7 · answered by dragon_girl441 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
be rude to your cousin and change the lock and throw everything out
2006-12-15 16:34:29 · answer #8 · answered by CryAlone 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do what I did: change the locks. If that doesn't work: restraining order.
2006-12-15 16:33:31 · answer #9 · answered by devilliers_steyn 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yo,step up and be a man.Be straight with him and speak your mind tell him hes got to go.
2006-12-15 16:36:10 · answer #10 · answered by Jungleleah 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋