Ok so my husband has a brother in Saudi Arabia who has 9 kids. Well one of his nephews is like 4 years old and he goes around and pushes his mom, my husband's mom, and all his siblings. Then he runs away and no one can catch him because he's too fast and strong. The entire family minus 1 of his sister's live in the same house(perfectly fine in Saudi). Well my brother in law hits his kid(again this is allowed in Saudi. It's not illegal there.) So the nephew KNOWS better than to hit his dad. However I'm just wondering of any other ways to teach my nephew to quit hitting his mom, siblings, aunts, cousions, and his grandmother. Please help. By the way telling me to let everyone in the house leave is no option as my husband's mom couldn't live without all her kids and grandkids in the same house. House is three stories by the way.
2006-12-15 07:21:58 · 19 answers · asked by baddrose268 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
If he's being hit by his dad he's probably acting out on others that he knows can't or won't hit back. Maybe they should change the way they discipline him.
2006-12-15 07:26:18 · answer #1 · answered by bartman40467 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Better follow Dads lead. That little sucker gets hit back a couple times he will quit. Right now he hits them because there is no consequence. What if you could play with fire without getting burned? You would wouldn't be scared of fire and would play with it all the time. Sounds like the 4 yo needs to be "burned" (hypothetically speaking of course, don't go burn the kid). Its just like when an infant starts slapping a parent. At first its funny, 2 it becomes annoying. 3 you start popping there hands and telling them its bad and to stop. By 4, they have realized I can't slap mommy in the face anymore.
2006-12-15 15:26:20 · answer #2 · answered by www.treasuretrooper.com/186861 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Please....leave the house cause some 4 year old acts like a snot??
What I would do is this....tell the kid, that when he pushes/hits others, then he will get the same treatment. And let him know that it may not be at the exact time. So I would just wait till the kid sat down to dinner and then kick him in the @ss so hard that he would think 4 times before even considering hitting some one.
2006-12-15 15:25:58 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
There is nothing that YOU can do about him pushing around his direct family (those who live with him).
An example has been set by his father (any hitting his father does) and he is trying to emulate that.
If something does not change in the discipline he faces (or doesnt face) for his abusive actions, then this routine will stick with him for life, and he will become an abusive child/teenager/adult/husband.
If he is too strong for the rest of the family to deal with, then the discipline has to be left to the father (whom the child fears).
Discipline from anyone else in the family may result in his behaviour worsening.
In this case the father is the only one who can discipline him effectively because as you said, the boy "fears" his father. Therefore if the father were to discipline and attempt to correct him, the boy would listen or face his father's discipline again.
This is all the advice I can give based on everything you have told me.
I wish you the best of luck and I send my prayers to your family.
2006-12-18 11:06:20 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My nephew and neices are monsters in their own home...because its tolerated. The idea no one can catch him is a cop out. When they visit me you'd hardly recognize them.
I have 5 simple rules. I post them on the fridge. I make the consequences clear, quick and consistent. For me this works...
1. No hitting no hurting.
2. Everybody plays or nobody plays.
3. Everybody sits for meals (at the table).
4. No potty mouth.
5. Buddy up for outside play.. no front yard.
This is a one warning house. If I have to repeat myself at all I have beds for everyone including the big kids (that helps the rule session lighten up and really impresses the little ones lol).
I also dont try to keep punishment fair after that becaue every kid is different. My son loves to be up in his room...in fact, he'll stay put for over an hour...lol my daughter hates it, she needs to be center of the action. So after an appropriate time out (same number of mins as age of child) all bets are off. I only had to raise my voice and remove the toys from the room once when my brother's kids came to live with me (I didn't yell I was very stern). They stayed for 3 weeks and they were angels. If you visit them today, in their own home, they act like hyenas (sp). The adults are in charge... not the kids... so its the adults who need to change in this situation. If you are the only one who sees a problem, you best buy shinguards.
2006-12-15 15:41:20 · answer #5 · answered by Sweetserenity 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is a problem that cannot be ignored. Here are a few steps to help your husband's nephew stop hitting people:
1) Try to talk to him. Give him some examples of why he shouldn't be hitting or pushing people. If this doesn't work, proceed to step 2.
- Tell him that if he continues to hit and push people, explain to him that he is hurting someone else. Take your husband's grandmother for example; tell your husband's nephew that you could seriously hurt her if he continues to act this way.
- Also, tell him that the more he hurts people, the more his father is going to abuse him and punish him.
2) Talk to his parents. If this doesn't solve your issue, go to step 3.
- Does his parents know that their son is abusing others. They willl eventually understand the situation and discuss it with him.
3) Get him to stop. Simply, if he begins to hit and push people, say, "Hey [name of boy], that wasn't very nice of what you did. Go apologize." If this doesn't work, continue reading until you reach to my conclusion.
- Yes, I know it seems as though your yelling, but your not. Your repremending the boy without really getting his parents "mad".
- It will also ring a bell to him that you know what he's doing, as well as everyone else.
If none of these work, this kid really needs help. If nobody talks to him, repremend him, or any other way to get him to stop, this could get to drastic measures and he could wind up really hurting someone.
2006-12-15 15:34:16 · answer #6 · answered by Natalie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Watch him closely and when you see him hit, grab him hard by the arm and put him on a time out face turned to a corner. Might have to stand right by him because he'll run but stand close so when he does you can again put him back in the corner.
1 minute for every year he is.
2006-12-15 15:26:15 · answer #7 · answered by ShrunkenFro™ 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Sound likes someone needs to be taken over the responsible parent's laps for the butt-smacking of his life.
Also someone needs to teach the parents a thing or three about discipline.
2006-12-15 15:23:59 · answer #8 · answered by ellis4655@sbcglobal.net 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
The kid's dad is on the right track. Everyone esle needs to follow in his footsteps and stop with the "this kid is too fast and strong for any of us to catch him." What are you all? A bunch of wimps?
2006-12-15 16:14:50 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Try a swat on the butt. Repeat til the child has an attitude correction. That usually works.
2006-12-15 15:24:23 · answer #10 · answered by Cabana C 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋