Is it too soon?

Question

I just got engaged a few days ago, but I'm leaving again to go back to college in 3 weeks. My mother and I like to be fairly organized about things and we like to get things done early. When is it appropriate for me to ask my future mother in-law for a guest list for their family and friends? I mean I just got engaged, but I only have 7 months to plan and I'll be in school half of that and working so I need to plan on my time off, am I rushing things? I don't want to be bridezilla!!

And just FYI to ppl...I'm not asking if it's too soon to get married. My boyfriend lives in the same town as my college so it's not a long distance relationship and I"ve been dating him since I was a sophomore in highschool and the question is only about the guest list!! Thanks though for your "thoughtful" opinions.

Answer 1

If you have seven months to plan NOW would be a good time to ask for a guest list from your FMIL. If the wedding won't be local you want to get the invitations out asap. If it is local at least you'll have the list, which you can put onto a computer so you have when you are ready for them.

Answer 2

Well, you should have already had a meeting between the two of you and the two sets of parents to have some sort of an idea of the budget and a ballpark figure for the guest lists. You don't have to send out invitations until six to eight weeks before the wedding, but the timeline depends on if you have to order your invitations, or if you are making them, etc. Give her warning that you will be wanting a number - you won't need the actual guest list for some time, unless there is some chance they will be duplicated on your family's list.

Answer 3

I think I can help. I got engaged about six months ago, and I am still in college (so we are in the same boat here). The only difference is that, in total I have the past six months and still another seven months to plan the wedding. It is very wise of you to start planning now as it will get crazy when you are in school and studying for finals and whatnot. It's not "bridezilla-ish" to start preparing right away. Being annoying, pushy, etc. is. It might get frusturating at times because you are going to be so busy with school, but just be patient with everyone involved and be open to their help if they offer. And what I always tell myself is that my "special day" is not going to be the perfect event that I'm conjuring up in my head. But I need to make the best of every situation that comes along and not worry too much about the small things.

Congratulations!!! You must be so excited. I wish you both the best :) ...and good luck in school too!!

Answer 4

I got engaged over spring break (March) and married in August. I had practically everything planned out before I went back to school, so I know where you are coming from. I think your best bet is to just let the future mother-in-law know that you would like to have the guest list as soon as possible. Explain it to her the same way you explain it in your question and she'll probably be happy to help. Congratulations.

Answer 5

First off if he isn't going to be around you at your new school, its likely that things will change.Not to sound pessimistic, but alot of times the old saying does hold true."out of sight, out of mind".Long distance relationships are very difficult.Especially for younger people with busy life styles.
Look, getting a wedding guest list together wont take you that long even if your busy.So, if all still seems good with you and your man 3 months before your wedding day, then get on to finishing the list and other wedding plans.
But for now, take life as it comes and focus on what you know is a certain.Like you needing to put good use to your time at school for your future.Weather that be with him or not.

Answer 6

Tell your mom-in-law-to-be the wedding date, and ask her when she can give the list to you. Agree upon a deadline together.
Perhaps she would like to be in charge of the invites herself? The husbands parents traditionally don't have as much to do as the brides, so enlisting her help might just be a bonding thing for the two of you. and one less headache for you, and your mom. You're only going to come off as bridezilla, if you start making demands on people, and not hearing their needs. Good luck, Congrats.

Answer 7

You need to start now! & months to plan a weddding is not a lot of time. With an estimates guest list, you can start looking into wedding venues, caterer and know how much you can spend.

Yes, it's time to ask for the guest list or at least tell her how many people she can invite.

Good luck

Answer 8

I would say, don't ask her yet. I'm getting married in May, and I made my original list in July, and I can tell you that it has changes soo much. You should sit down with your fiance and go over his family and friends and any one he may want to invite. That way you can tell your mother in law, when it gets closer to the date. When the time comes closer tell her, these are the people that I have on the guest list, is there any one that you can think of that I may have left out. Don't tell her to make a list because then she'll prob take that as she can invite who ever she wants.

Answer 9

7 months is a lot of time to plan a wedding. You need to get an idea now of how many guests you're talking about in order to decide where to have it, how big the wedding will be etc...
It's not too early to ask her, but I would be prepared to work with her also.

Answer 10

I dont think u r. i only had a few months to plan mine. but i also had help. Do what you need to do. If you put things off too long you will turn into bridezilla. this is a happy time for you dont get stressed about it. Start planning now.