what would you do?

Question

i like a guy who i have been friends with forever. he has already told me that he finds me attractive and would have sex with me. but i know i would eventually want more than just sex. i know that he cares about me, but i have no idea if he feels the same way. what would you do in the same situation?

Answer 1

I grew up with more than 20 "brothers" in my neighbourhood-guys I played sports with and just generally hung around with.

I have been curious in a sexual away about a few of them over the years. The only one I have dated, was the guy next door who was my most serious "crush". He gave me the most wonderful pre-17th birthday present, and we ended up dating for over 6 months.

I thought we were happy together (I was kind of naive, I guess), until one night he told me that I was going to have to come across with some sex, or he was going to move on to someone else. Until then, I had really looked up to this guy. When he fell off of that pedestal I had him on, he hit bottom hard. I just couldn't agree to it, because that statement hurt me so much. So I told him to go out and find that other girl.

I ended up having sex with his little brother (just a year younger than me) just the very next night. I saw my crush leaving to go out on a date with the loose ***** from around the corner. So I grabbed junior and took him up to their old treehouse. This kid had been salivating at my heels for years, making sexual remarks to me, so I figured "Why the hell not?" At least we got to lose our virginities together.

Both junior and I were very surprised about just how much fun we had together. We knew we were together just for the sex, but it felt damn good. And once we got ourselves a supply of condoms, it was something we could indulge in every day.

It took us almost 9 months to exhaust each other and all the possibilities. We broke up by mutual agreement then and went on to see other people. But we still got back together for the good sex whenever we were between significant others.

I never regretted turning down my "crush". If I hadn't, I would have lost respect for myself. And I never would have experienced those 9 months of randy sex with his brother. And I lost the friendship of my "crush" because he moved beyond the small world of the neighbourhood almost immediately afterwards, anyway.

I am still friends with Junior.

I think in your situation, it will depend on whether you can separate out your emotions from the sex. With Junior and I, there was never anything BUT the sex. Neither one of us were ever emotionally invested in the relationship. And we're still friends.

But then there is the relationship with my crush. Because there was emotional investment for both of us, my turning him down for sex ruined the friendship. Just as much as having sex with him, and later breaking up, would have.

I think YOUR choice is going to be bittersweet either way.

Answer 2

A guy who cares about you doesn't say he'd be willing to do you. A guy who cares about you takes you out on dates, gets to know you, gets to know your parents/family, builds an emotional bond and trust, respects and honors you.
I wouldn't be so willing to date a guy like that, and I certainly wouldn't have sex with him until we were in an exclusive, established relationship and had been for close to a year.
Don't sell yourself too short.

Answer 3

Wait for more of a commitment than 3 minutes of torrid sex

Answer 4

You need to tell him honestly that you are looking for more than just sex.You will not know unless you communicate about your true feelings with him.If he isnt ready for more than sex(commitment) he's not worth it.

Answer 5

I think the whole "he said he'd have sex with me" should be your first clue that he prob does not want more than that . . . . at least not now. Unless you are ok with that . . . i'd try to move on.