I'm 24. I have been in this relationship for a little over a year now. Our baby girl is not biologically mine, but I chose to take the responsibility. Now, we have moved in order for me to get a better job. Not too far away though. I have problems letting certain things go, and they always come back to the surface to haunt me. She said she would just go away and give me space, and time so I can figure things out on my own. She left her ring and neckalace I gave her on my couch...I saw it on my luch break. That broke me in half, and now I really don't know what to think or how to feel. I know that that alone killed me. I am just not sure how to handle all of this. I do not think I was ready for all of the responsibility all at once. But at the same time, I do not want to hurt her; and I do not want to regret anything. I just need someone elses thoughts to help me along. Thanks.
2006-12-15 05:50:34 · 11 answers · asked by Taylor 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
It doesn't sound like you have to worry about hurting her. She's the one hurting you!! If you left now she would only have herself to blame. Do you really love this woman so much you would raise her child only to get paid back with abuse, knowing all the while that she's ok with that?? Think about it man..there is a lot of women out there that could make you happier than you are with this one. You don't owe her anything.
2006-12-15 06:12:26 · answer #1 · answered by m33how 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
In my opinion you are pretty young to take that kind of responsibility. I think you should concentrate on finding a better job and going to school, if you have not already.
However, if you feel like you love both of them, you need to come to a conclusion. Either understand you will be loosing some experience of being in your 20s and going out etc BUT you will have a huge opportunity to make a little girl very happy by raising her. There is nothing like raising a child. That in itself is an experience filled with joy, sadness and especially love. If you feel you do not want to be without them, you will find a way to work through it with time and patience. Good luck.
2006-12-15 13:59:28 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
the question to ask yourself --do you love her? can you live your life happily without her? does she "complete" you as they say. if so, you have your answer.
i wouldnt worry about hurting her--you will hurt her more in the long run and that baby too if you continue a relationship you dont want to be in
if you stay together, take on some responsibilty a little at a time--you dont have to be "instant dad" in a one day. sit down, talk with her about your fears and why and let nature take its course
as far as letting things so--the best advice i ever received is this: if something does not TRULY impede your happiness, its not worth fretting over or even bringing up. if something she does TRULY makes you unhappy, THEN say something. talk it out. communication is key to a happy relationship.
good luck!
2006-12-15 13:56:36 · answer #3 · answered by buffywaldie 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow, a daddy and a husband all wrapped into a new move.
You have A LOT on your plate!
If she was only giving you space and you didn't break up, why are you freaking out then?
To me it sounds like you love them both and if she feels the same she will be there.
Sometimes these things just are too much too.
2006-12-15 13:59:53 · answer #4 · answered by pinkchicchild 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe that what it is, you think that you not ready because it to much to deal with. And i don't blame because you are young, and most people at your age , are doing other things, then raising an family. Maybe you just missing that to. But, think once that is gone you are going to miss it. Because sometimes what we think we want , isn't alway what best or what you really want. Write down the good times that you had with your girl and the baby, and the thing that your going to miss. A then write down the things that your not going to miss, and the bad things. I bet the good things are going to win,. It's problemly just stress
2006-12-15 13:57:55 · answer #5 · answered by martha h 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Whatever you can't let go will end up ruining your relationship if you don't get passed it. You can't change the past and if you REALLY love her you'll get over it and get on with your life. Don't stay with her because you hate being alone. If you stay with her it needs to be because you love unconditionally. We all make mistakes and someday you will too. If you truly loved someone you would hope they could look past your judgement error to see the person you really are, the person they love. Being alone is easy compared to the hard work it takes to be with someone, accept a child, and make a life with another person. If you can't move on and let whatever this is go, let her go, so she can find someone to make her feel happy and loved unconditionally.
2006-12-15 14:04:11 · answer #6 · answered by ? 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i'm 24 and in a very similar situation (but there's no baby involved). when you jump into relationships and everything is going great...you kinda never stop to think about how things will be once the "honeymoon" is over. i'd advise that if you're not happy or if you need space or whatever it is...you need to do whatever makes you feel good at this point in your life. we're still very young, too young to be playing house and taking on children that aren't ours. if you need to step back...then step back and don't feel guilty about doing something for yourself. if you don't look out for you, who will?
2006-12-15 13:58:50 · answer #7 · answered by iPROMISE[♥] 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you really love her just from what you said. In spite of everything I would really consider what you have to lose here. Nobody is perfect and no matter who you find there are things you will have to deal with. I would tell her you love her very much and that she is the love of your life! Don't lose her.
2006-12-15 13:56:52 · answer #8 · answered by mikearion 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
dude the child isnt yours?? i've been in that same position, and do you know where it lead me? ona guilt trip through pains valley. just remember that this is your happiness here. you dont neeed others to make u happy. so take you time, you need it
if she left those things tha suppose to have meant much to her then what do u think she is saying
the girl obviously wants some air, or some one else
so please dont take my path, end it while you can before you regret it
2006-12-15 14:00:22 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
distance brings hearts closer, my fiance and i have been dating almost 4 years, in june of this year I moved 60 miles away (for work) and i thought we wouldn't survive, we missed each other so mmuch that he realized i was the one for him that's when he proposed to me, don't worry if your relationship is strong and you really love each other then you will survive this move, as far as her leaving the jewlery on the couch.....that's very immature of her you should talk to her about that
2006-12-15 13:56:23 · answer #10 · answered by graciegirl 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋