I really like this guy, but I don't know if it will lead anywhere. the only thing is that, although i have 2 mixed kids, my parents are still strongly against interracial dating. I have to live with my parents for financial reasons, and i live in constant fear that if i fall for another black guy, that they will kick me out. i've already been told that if i'm caught dating another balck guy that they will take my kids from me, because they don't want them raised by a black man. i don't discriminate against white guys, don't get me wrong, but the guy i like is black. what should i do?
2006-12-15 05:07:13 · 16 answers · asked by red.cherry2001 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
doc, unless you know the full story, it's best to keep your mouth f*cking shut. i love my kids and i did graduate high school with honors i might add. i only live with my parents because the father of my children beat the crap out of me, and i did not want them in that.
2006-12-15 08:51:34 · update #1
First your parents can not take your kids off you for dating a black guy. I can just see that reason play out in court. The judge would throw that out. Second I would suggest seeing about getting on welfare and move into subsidized housing or HUD or Section 8 to get out of your parents home. Your children are interracial children and already they are being semi discriminated against. How are your parents going to feel if and when they bring home a black person to date. Its half there race!! I say follow your heart. It's wrong of your parents to tell you they will take your kids if you date someone out of your race. Good luck to you.
2006-12-15 05:11:34 · answer #1 · answered by Issym 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Not sure how old you are, but....first thing you should do is get yourself out of their house. Focus on you and your kids for awhile because that is what is most important. As far as your parents go, they should accept you for who you are and the choices you make in life. I am speaking from experience. I was 21, married a black man, and became pregnant all around the same time. My father, who knew I was dating this man and spoke to him on the phone and seemed to like him, disowned me. Of course I was on my own, in the military, and wondered what the issue was all of the sudden. My father passed away when my daughter was 14 months old, never once meeting her. My feelings on that, it was his lose. Our parents chose the person that made them happy to spend the rest of their lives with, we should have that same right. With the way the world is today, mixed races are becoming the majority. I understand that they are your parents and that alot of people feel they "owe" them something, but if your parents were true parents, they have unconditional love. As far as not wanting a black man to raise your children, let them know that there are very few white men out there that can raise your children with the proper education on their black culture. Those are your children, and trust me, your parents will have a hard time getting them away from you without proving that you are an unfit mother. Do what you need to do to get out on your own. Get assistance from the State you live in, whatever it takes. Do not be ashamed to accept help from the agencies that are out there for you. Understandable that you want to date and have a relationship, but get your life together first. You don't want to have to depend on anyone to support those babies.
2006-12-15 13:21:08 · answer #2 · answered by Stephanie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
At this time, do not get into a relationship with anyone, black or white.
If you're going to school, finish school as fast as possible. If you are working, get a job that pays you a lot better.
Once you are making enough money to stand on your own two feet, move out and stop relying on the racist bigots that you have for parents.
Once you can stand on your own two feet and support your kids, date whomever you want.
2006-12-15 13:12:06 · answer #3 · answered by makawao_kane 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
they can't take your kids for your dating preference...however, they can if you date someone that could be dangerous...the fact that he's black isn't a good reason! That's ridiculous and I feel your pain hun. The love of my life was a black guy and my parents were totally against it. You have to stand up for yourself, it's your life. You are a grown woman and they don't have the right to control you like that. Good luck.
2006-12-15 13:11:32 · answer #4 · answered by *ladybug* 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
They can’t take your kids away. Its your life your happiness not your parents don’t let them decide for you. If you have already mixed kids, they should try to get over it. I advice for you is until you get your things together (financially) you need to hide it from them but you also need to move out, bc you don’t want your kids growing in the environment since they are mixed and not white.
2006-12-15 13:11:58 · answer #5 · answered by kathernva 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your parents can't take your kids away from you just because you like black guys. If they do, you can have them charged with kidnapping, because unless you are putting your children in danger, your parents can't do a thing about who you want to date.
They are racists, that's all.
Follow your heart and be happy.
2006-12-15 13:11:45 · answer #6 · answered by amarilysusa 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Get your tubes tied, get a job and social assistance while you get on your feet and get your own place.
If You like this guy, so be it.. but you are too insecure to have any more children. They do not need to be brought up by someone who can't stand on their own two feet and is very immature.
They deserve someone with something to offer them.. stability, love, reliability, security and a good role model.
You are crying a river about your parents ideals, but they are only trying to give you a wake-up call. Get off the pot missy and get busy... Get your education even if you have to do night school.
You should be glad that they are housing you and your children.. you could be out on the streets.. Don't waste so much time on the poor Me's... spend time getting your life on track and doing something for you and your children.....
2006-12-15 13:26:26 · answer #7 · answered by doclakewrite 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Its unfortunate that you have to deal with this situation. I hope you are able to get on your feet someday so you can take charge of your own life and make your own decisions. If you can't and you need your parents support, you need to think about your children's welfare and put them first. Your boyfriends should take a back seat right now.
2006-12-15 13:10:54 · answer #8 · answered by cutencurley_05 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to focus on getting your life together and moving out of your parents place and getting into your own pad and being an adult. It appears that dealing with men has not worked well for you, so for now I'd leave them alone.
2006-12-15 13:10:56 · answer #9 · answered by Angie@ 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i think you should tell your parents to step into the 21st century... why should the fact that he's black have anything to do with how you feel about him? if they can't handle that then your parents are pretty thick in the head.... they shouldn't be worried about race they should be worried about how he treats you and if you are truely happy with the person you choose..... i think that racial people are completely immature-- seriously! sorry you have to go through that-- not a fun place to be in! hope it all works out in the end and you follow what your heart says-- not your parents
2006-12-15 13:11:56 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋