How can I speak to my Social Worker without flipping out and swearing at her?

Question

I cannot speak to my Social Worker without ending up shouting at her cos she is so useless. The trouble is I get myself so worked up and upset that I end up self harming which is what happened today when she said she had no carers for me. Now she just threatens to hang up on me and I usually hang up first so I get nowhere, how can I control my temper and save myself from self harming?

Answer 1

OK first thing first ask to be assigned to another social worker, can you contact your assertive outreach team or PCT?

It maybe the two of you clash, try to make an effort with your new social worker, your obviously dealing with mental health issues and she's supposed to be there to support you, see you psychiatrist he/she may be able to give you drugs to control your temper issues or PRN they will also be able to help with your self-harm issues.

Theres always someone you can talk to about your issues, dont be scared of change and take anything new with small but progressive steps!
Oh and relying on your social worker is NOT lame, you have one for a reason that none of us know and therefore should not judge your situation

There are anger management courses you can take, again speak to your psychiatrist

Answer 2

Spend 4 hours a day training in or learning about something.
After 6 months to a year you will be able to turn the self training into cash somehow.
Then you won't need to depend on some other person to find you a crappy job that you don't want anyway.

So you flip out and yell and throw tantrums at people trying to help you. Well you have emotional issues.
Smoke some reefer.
Chill the flip out.
Eat less red meat.
Stop watching television.
Develop a skill and stop expecting a social worker to do something for you. They can't. You are allowing yourself to be babysat.
That's lame.

Answer 3

First thought I have is to not blame yourself at all for your feelings. You say that you get yourself "so worked up and upset." No. You feel upset because you, apparently, have an uncaring Social Worker. Your feelings are 100% legitimate.

I have been in the System (welfare,case management...) for many years. And, unfortunately, I have wanted to explode many times. I would like to say: find another Social Worker and all will be well but that might not be the case. Yes, get away from this one. But also think about this long term because chances are a similar situation will come up again.

I worked with a case manager for 5 years and I demanded complete honesty from him. I wanted to know what was going on in his head. The System will always point the finger at those in need and use terms like "acting out" "tantrum" "irrational". When the truth is that most people who turn to the System for help are in a bad place to begin with and all of the cold bureaucracy vibes do not help at all.

You are, in no way, to blame and there are larger, political, cultural, economic issues going on. Perhaps knowing that can give you a broader perspective on your situation and open up different options and possibilities.

best of luck,
Ghideon

Answer 4

Try to be assertive instead of aggressive and then you will have control over the situation and get somewhere. Example: " Mrs. or Mr. Social Worker, I feel like the options provided are not helping me to find the career I am interested in." At this point, either listen to what that person has to offer and why it may have to be done that way in the beginning or have several possible solutions yourself. Buy a fidget toy to keep your hands busy. This may sound silly but if that is what it takes to keep your hands busy, do it. Silly Putty, Squeeze ball, or those Dollar Deal round, colorful, 3 inch string like balls (cannot remember the name) There are many people with temper problems or even mad moments that have ulcer producing consequences. Last night I went to my son`s Christmas program and there was a loud mouthed "CAT" computer engineer that was talking to his 3 year old niece in a loud voice during the program! I could not hear the kids and believe me, many things crossed my mind on how to handle this situation. I turned around and asked him if he was there to listen to one of his children (in a friendly voice)? He said, "Yes, (thinking I wanted to actually visit with him) he had two sons that were going to sing". So I said, "Great! I would like to listen to the program now and cannot really hear it when you are talking to your little buddy (I assume it was his niece), so can you turn your volume button down a bit or have your conversation outside of the gym? Thank-you sir." It worked. You can do this and have a win/win situation. Best of luck to you.

Answer 5

Seems to me you have the wrong Social worker.. this is nothing against her or you.. She is probably quite good with someone else.. The situation is not good for either of you.. I agree with some of the other people.. speak to her if you can and ask to be assigned another social worker..If you can't talk to her calmly about it.. talk to your doctor and see if he/she can get you referred to a different social worker..

There are also people called Advocates.. these people are usually free and will be able to put over your point for you. This person can act as a go between and get you a better deal. You can usually get in touch with these through the local health services too if you are registered with them as having mental health problems.

Good luck with your search..

Answer 6

Thats an easy one. If that type of a Social Worker, does not care about you. Than dump her. There are 100% better Social Workers out there, than here. Remember its your health and your hard earned dollars, she's getting. Good luck. Also I would report her to the DOPL (Department of professional liscening). As I think she does not deem to be worthy of a good Social Worker. I would file a grievance and ask for your money back.
As matter of your turmoilt and outrages behavior, I would purchase myself a big fluffy pillow that can withstand a good deal of pressure. Than I would purchase a base ball bat. When you feel like yelling, screaming or beaten the **** out of it, beat the heck out of that pillow before you go to your appointments. Trust me at works at all times. For your Anger management problems, there are free classes in your community avaiable. Ask your local Your Community Connection (YCC) for referral. Another way to over come anger mangement is to write a journal. Determine, what upsets you, what is the cause and why do you react to it! Keep a journal and it helps with you going to health professional. I speek out of experience. I once used to go through such a phase after I had divorcing parents when I was little. Hope this helps.. Good luck. Greetings from Utah.

Answer 7

Give the poor social worker a break. How would you like to have to deal with a case load of people like you that scream and yell and flip out all the time plus probably makes less than you do after you collect your SSI and food stamps?

Answer 8

This used to happen to me at every single confrontation with any sort of authority---my pulse would pound, I would get furiously angry inside, and sometimes feel like weeping, even during the briefest of interactions. I was too afraid to curse people out, but I wanted to.
All this ended four years ago, when I joined a group that related to my particular childhood and teen problems, being raised by an Alcoholic parent. I came to "Al-Anon" meetings weekly, which are designed for people who suffer from the effects of Alcoholism in a loved one. In these meetings, we talk about our problems, and then listen to others talk about their problems. One of the BIG issues for children of alcoholics is exactly what you mentioned : "self-harming". We feel very upset and guilty over the memories of our childhood, and sometimes, in some ways that we don't intend, RE-CREATE in our daily life the upset, fear, and trauma we suffered as a child. We do this because this is the only way we know how to live. It made sense during our childhood as a coping method, but in our adult world, which is free of alcoholism, it makes no sense. Along with this "self-sabotage" comes a lot of anger and temper, usually for no real reason.
It is usually a lot of anger, hurt, and confusion left over from the early years of our life that we could not express then, being children. It is very very hard to break these habits of a lifetime, but it is possible. It's also easy to "reason" with yourself that you shouldn't feel this way, but very difficult re-teach your emotions.

I have managed to change the way I relate to the world, and don't feel a "fury" of emotions whenever something goes wrong---I am calm and prepared. I know now that everything isn't life or death, every moment. As a child, I had to live that way. As an adult, I have lots of skills, powers, options to deal with the problems of daily life, and I don't need to react with my childish emotions.

Answer 9

dude i did the same thing myself, self harm. when ever u talk 2 this numpty on the fone or face 2 face i found that havin like a squeeze ball or a pen in my hand 2 just move around kinda takes yr mind of things just enuf 2 not wana jump down the fone and rip into em.

Answer 10

Tell her you dont feel comfortable with her and ask to choose another social worker, mayby choose a guy cause he'll understand you better if your a guy yourself and think of it this way, if you swear and you hangs up she will still get her money you will lose out. be strong and remember there are other ways more efficient then self harming to bring your problems out.