So my GF has been constantly getting upset at me because she gets these feelings that I’m cheating. I am being completely faithful and I always have but she won’t believe me. The biggest problem is that when she gets these “feelings” she gets upset and wont talk to me. She’s punishing me for something she thinks is going on. Lately its been getting worse, I tried to go to the mall without her and she got angry because she thought I was going to meet up w/ someone. When I explained that I was going alone was so I could buy her a present, she didn’t believe me. She’s terrified of being hurt, so she’s extra paranoid. She says that she can’t do anything about the feelings but what am I supposed to do. I reassure her time and time again that I love her and that I’m being faithful but it’s obviously not working. We live together and I’m literally always on the phone with her if I’m not working but she still thinks I some how have time to cheat. I love her but I’m tired of getting accused and I’m tired of having her mad at me for no reason, I’ve already told her how I feel and what will happen to our relationship if it continues but all she could say is that she cant help how she feels.
2006-12-15 04:50:58 · 24 answers · asked by 1 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You can't have a relationship without trust. It just doesn't work. You have to trust each other or it will fail. It sounds like she is a little obsessed with you. I understand about being hurt. I've been there done that. But there comes a time when you have to get past that or you will never have a successful relationship....EVER!
Will she go talk to someone about this?
2006-12-15 04:54:45 · answer #1 · answered by TTC Cycle#20 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she has some serious trust issues weather it comes from past relationships or what she learned growing up from her parents. Have you tried to talk to her about her past relationships and if they had cheated on her, what types of things that make her feel that she is being cheated on and what it will take to make her believe in you. Each person is different and its like a beaten dog. It takes time to rebuild trust in people but then if its a different relationship then she should be informed that you are not them and that you will do whatever it takes for her to believe that you wouldn't do such an act. Its something that she is going to have to get over if she wants to have any type of relationship that will last. People that are insecure and are always blaming others for things that they are not doing will eventually wear that person out or drive them to do what they are accused of doing since they are being treated like they already have done the deed.
2006-12-15 12:58:18 · answer #2 · answered by IMACHEAP 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She needs time alone to sort herself out. She is hurting your relationship and doesn't know what to do about it---but neither do you! I can sympathize with her a little. It's hard to trust people when you have been burned really badly by men who lie (I guess anyone who lies). Just tell her you really care about her, but she is making you crazy by making all of these accusations. Tell her that you think it's best that the two of you take a break. If you really love her and want to stay with her, give her some time and see what happens. If you are over it, then just end it. Hope this helps!
2006-12-15 12:55:38 · answer #3 · answered by ANGEL 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well maybe she's been cheated on before and thinks that you have some of the traits that her former boyfriends had when they were obviously unfaithful. You have to assure her that you're not them and she needs to stop thinking that you're gonna cheat on her because they did. Most of the time when a man cheats on a woman, unfortunately it makes it really hard for the next man. You need to just sit her down and tell her your a different type of man than what she's been with and she don't have anything to worry about. Good Luck!
2006-12-15 13:02:20 · answer #4 · answered by 2sweet4u 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It looks like there is no trust in your relationship, on your girlfriends part that is. A relationship cannot last without trust. I think you need to give her an ultimatum. Either she stops the paranoia or the relationship must end. You probably care a lot about her and want to be with her, but in the end, if there isn't any trust, the relationship will die and you'll split hating each other. She needs to know that it's serious, and you need to back-up the ultimatum you give her.
2006-12-15 12:59:43 · answer #5 · answered by furiousfoe 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
thats crazy if she doesnt understand just sit down with her and talk and let her know all ur feelings dont leave anything out. and if she still doesnt understand then she really has a self-estem problem and she is not taking ur feelings under consideration to any extent. and she must not want the realationship as bad as u want. let her know and tell her if she really loves u as she claims to, then she will trust u because that is the first thing about love TRUST. and tell her that it hurts u when she accuses u for no reason.
2006-12-15 12:59:24 · answer #6 · answered by christina 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am so sorry to hear that. It seems to me that your girlfriend has been hurt really bad in her past. The only way you can assure of your loyalty is letting her know you completely. Maybe you can try opening up to her just a little bit more. Be a little bit more expressive show a little jealousy when she steps out. She probably just wants to know how its possible for you to be so nonchalent. It seems like you really love her. Write her love notes or maybe you can try being a little more romantic
2006-12-15 13:05:03 · answer #7 · answered by TONYA P 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tough one. My own such jealousies, insecurities, and fears led to the demise of a beautiful 4 year-long relationship once. She needs to reign it in, or it will destroy you both.
I would suggest she get into some kind of counseling to discover why she has these unfounded fears and how she can overcome them. For me, it took losing my first love - something I hope no one else ever has to go through to learn a life lesson. :(
2006-12-15 12:54:54 · answer #8 · answered by skatoolaki 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well she has issues. Out of nowhere she thinks you are cheating , I can understand with reasons but w/o it? Talk to her let her know how much you love her, maybe you are not showing your feelings and she is feeling insecure. Spend more time w her, go out..... BTW.. I love EL CHAVO
2006-12-15 12:55:37 · answer #9 · answered by kathernva 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Since you already told her your feelings, give her a chance to change. If she doesn't take a break from her. Did you do anything to make her feel this way?
2006-12-15 12:55:21 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋