We have been in a relationship for a while now, and from the moment I met her, I fell in love with her. She goes quite often to a local volunteer ambulance service. There, and for a number of years now she has known a 35 year old guy, her being 18 now. He has a partner and a step daughter of 15. She told me he constantly talks about sex and is obsessed. Recently, she has been unsure of her feelings towards me. She said that she enjoys this guy touching her, which upset me, and then said that one night he said, that he wished he had kissed her. She told me one day that she would only be sure of her feelings for me if she kissed him, and if I didn't want her too, she had to end our relationship. I love her, but I had to accept to not loose her, hoping it would never happen. It did, and she said that she loved me when she told me about it, but would I be ok if it would happen again. She claims it is as friends. It’s ripping me apart, what shud I do?
2006-12-15 04:29:13 · 34 answers · asked by dave88_06 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
threesome
2006-12-15 04:31:20 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Put the proverbial foot down. She's sitting on the fence and trying to do a classic "have your cake and eat it too". Imagine you are a woman and she is a man. You, in this scenario are the "wife" or "long time partner" and this other guy who is "obsessed with sex" is the "mistress" (can't stand that word, by the way).
See it?
Ask if she would feel comfortable if you kissed a woman who is obsessed with sex? People change their tune pretty quick when the shoe is on the other foot. Gee, I'd be interested in the answer to that one as well.
If it doesn't feel right, don't do it.
Good luck.
2006-12-15 04:39:29 · answer #2 · answered by KD 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is very little that you CAN do if she insists on maintaining both relationships.
It is a little unkind, to say the least, to his partner and you could gently point that out.
She can only be sure, in the final analysis, of her feelings for you by being with you. Kissing another man will not help at all.
What YOU have to decide is if it is worth while hanging on in there.
Nobody else has the right to tell you that.
2006-12-15 04:34:13 · answer #3 · answered by alan h 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Move on for sure. This girl knows you are dedicated and is totally taking advantage of that. It seems to me that she is interested in this guy more than anything because he may be a challenge to her and you are something that comes easy to her, making him more appealing for now... I am guessing that she still wants to keep you hanging because she knows the other relationship won't go anywhere. Just the simple fact that she claims she doesn't know how she feels about you and can't seem to find out until she kisses another guy is a huge red flag!!!!! It seems to me she isn't happy in your relationship but doesn't want to let you go until she finds another one and doesn't have to because she knows you will be there waiting.
2006-12-15 04:45:42 · answer #4 · answered by Leslie H 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your so called girlfriend was in love with you, she wouldn't be looking outside your relationship. People are faced with temptations every day. If you really love your partner they roll off your back like a duck in water. She has no respect for you. I wouldn't waste my time on her or the relationship. Why would you let her treat you this way. Your a better man then that. Have a back bone and kick her to the curb.
2006-12-15 04:36:17 · answer #5 · answered by autumn 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all if she really loved you she wouldn't have wanted to kiss someone else. She's trying to see how far she can go. You need to end it now because if she hasn't already fu**ed this guy it sounds like she wants to. You deserve better than that. She sound like a scank and they are a dime a dozen. Find someone who knows what the words "in a relationship" really mean.
2006-12-15 04:56:38 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds to me like your chick is seriously confused right now.
If you honestly love her the best thing you can do is to help her keep as far away from this jerk as possible.
she has been honest, she has made a lot of mistakes, but it is about time that you maybe give her an ultimatum.
make her see that what see does is wrong and that you wont let yourself be hurt by her.
this guy doesn't want her, and you have to make that brutally clear to her. she obviously does have strong feelings for you, but you need to make sure you dont get abused.
I hope it works out for you.
2006-12-15 04:48:53 · answer #7 · answered by lj 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dude, she is a wanker. A huge one. Let her GO. Who asks their significant other if it is okay ot kiss someone else and ifyou say no, they will break up with you? And now she wants to do it again/ Sorry but it seems like she is walking all over you. Put your foot down...and let her go. She is not worth it and is CHEATING ON YOU and has the nerve to tell you about it yet wants to keep you there for her pleasure. Sounds like a nightmare. DROP HER.
2006-12-15 04:39:59 · answer #8 · answered by Mimi 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She sounds like a mentalist. If she can't see what a good thing she has in you, then dump her my lovely and move on to something better.
Everyone deserves a person who will be true to them, love them and make them their number 1 priority. That's what its all about really. She is trying to have her cake and snog it too.
Don't let yourself get used like this. Tell her goodbye, take some time to get yourself all strong and confident again and go looking for someone who really deserves you.
2006-12-15 04:37:18 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think she's well out of order to be able to do something like this to the person you love it just don't sound right, specially for a women they have much more morals and self respect than us men but i think there's something more to this situation so be careful!...you sound like a intelligent man....there's plenty more girls that wont play games and mess you about!! take care!
2006-12-15 04:43:14 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i feel for you she sounds like she does not respect you, you dont deserve to be treated like this. maybe she wants it to be over but doesnt want to hurt you. You must be strong and tell her if it happens again you will end it. I really do feel for you it sounds like you really love her but believe me there is somone out there who will give you that much love back. Try not to be upset good luck
2006-12-15 04:37:25 · answer #11 · answered by rachrara 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋