Have BOYS? My three year old nephew has an adult problem?

Question

My sister is mortified that he is constantly playing with himself, no matter what he's wearing he'll go out of his way to take his cloths off to get his little thing out. What can we do, and is this something that warrants some attention?

My sister would like me to specify that he does this ALL day, almost all the time, and that it has been "going on for over a year"

She also wants me to mention that whatever she gives him for distraction, becomes incorporated, like, i guess he uses the toy?

Answer 1

My son just turned 5, and everytime I go into the bathroom while he is bathing, without a warming, he jumps... that's what he was doing. I have caught him many times. All boys are like that. It's right out there in the open for them to "mess" with. LIttle girls are different, they don't exactly have anything sticking out there in the open. lol. Now.. they do explore every now and then also, but not as much. I would say that eventually he will start to do this more and more in private... as I don't think any male outgrows this activity. lol.

Answer 2

Unless there are evidences of abuse, such as a change in his personality, suddenly fearful and clingy, changes in sleep and eating patterns, then a little boy his age is just being curious. This is a common childhood behavior. There is nothing sexual or perverted about his desire to touch his penis. Sexual organs are quite sensitive and even little ones get a pleasant feeling from touching them. My suggestion is that he be told something like this, "Jimmy, your penis is a private part of your body. It needs to stay covered up with your underwear and pants unless you have to go potty. If you want to touch it, then you must go to your bedroom to do it." As little attention as possible that you can pay to this behavior is best. It is generally a phase that children grow out of, especially if they have to go away from others to touch it. Depending on his personality and if it seems warranted, you can begin to mention simply that since his penis is a private area, that other people should not be looking at it or touching it except for mom, dad, or the doctor. This matter can be handled discreetly by mom and dad. Perhaps they can even develop a special word or gesture to use with their son so if he is playing with himself without realizing it (which sometimes happens especially when they are tired or doing something inactive such as watching TV) then he can know he needs to stop or go to his room. There is no shame to the parents nor should they make him feel that there is any shame in connection to any part of his body. Some children are more tactile in their learning styles and are more apt to be "touchers and feelers" when it comes to exploring the world around them, including their own body.

Answer 3

I think all little boys do that. Mine did. Your sister should not be mortified over this. I don't consider it an adult problem because they don't know what that appendage is. They are innocent. With my son, I drew his attention away with a toy or I read him a story. During the play or the reading, I would get him dressed again. It wasn't long before he stopped. Just be patient and loving.

Answer 4

He's only curious.
He now knows that it's there and he feels the need to "play with it".
He will grow out of it. It's only a phase.
I dont have a son but my little brother is exactly like that. There's no shame in it. He doesn't know any better. Just gently tell him that it's not okay. You also, when in public, should keep him occupyed with something else so he doesnt has the tendancy to do it.

Hope that helps

Answer 5

it's normal for boys to do this. My son didn't at 3 but he's 6 now and that's all I see. All his friends did this at a younger age. Try to explain that it's something to do only in private and not in front of other people. Being 3 I don't know how much he will understand, right now he just knows it feels good. Maybe the pediatrician can suggest on how to talk to him.

Answer 6

Children often imitate what they see, so in that regard, please be careful when you're having relations with people in full view of the child. Next, don't discourage the kid, he's exploring. Don't make a big "TO DO" about it. If the kid is still trying to figure out who's in control, this could be a major power struggle brewing...
In a congenial sort of way, ask or tell him to stop, or ask him what he's doing. Redirecting his attention is an excellent way to get him onto something else....my son's been doing that since day 5, he's almost 2. Time to teach, auntie...

Answer 7

This is normal I am a therapist that works with children 2 1/2-5 and this is a phase that they sometime go through. I have seen children go as far as humping things. Although if you think that there is something going on inappropriate then you should look more into it. If not I would not worry about it.

Answer 8

Nope that is perfectly normal, we were actually discussing this at my mommy group the other day. Kids do it because it feels good, they have no sense of shame and they have no idea that it is sexual.

You can discourage it gently, but making a big deal out of it will only make it worse.

In public the best thing you can do is keep him busy, I bet he does it when he is bored.

I'd say he'll outgrow it, but we know men don't really outgrow their obsession with their penis, he will learn to do it in private though.

Answer 9

Working with children, I've encountered many children doing that. I would simply whisper in his ear(not to embarrass him ) and tell him what he is doing is private and he needs to go to the bathroom if he needs to touch himself. Continue to do that and eventually he will get the message that it is private. He will figure out he doesn't want to spend the day in the bathroom. Good luck

Answer 10

That's not an adult problem. The child has discovered it feels good..that's why he does it and it's perfectly normal. Someone should explain that it's a private thing though and should never be done outside his own room.