been going out for three months and she questions her sexuality but insists that she wants to spend her life with me. i really care for and love her. it hurts me in a way and it makes me question my worth and whether theres something wrong with me.she says that she knows its something that she needs to work out:fine, but that she wouldnt know what to do if she was in a circumstance that would allow for a bisexual experience and that hurts.but i love her,i do. ive even given her three chances to break up with me, go figure out what she is, who she is and what she wants and each one shes decided to stay with me and say she'll work through it. that she doesnt want that over me. she "needs me there for her and she loves me" am i not being understanding and am i being overbearing? or is she wrong for what shes putting me through? i dont want any answers of go for it and have a threesome...im in this for love and i really care for her a lot....please post seriosu answers.please
2006-12-15 04:08:42 · 21 answers · asked by vaders fist 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Contrary to popular belief, not all bisexual individuals carry on dual relationships with individuals of the same and opposite sex. I, a 26-year-old bisexual woman, have been in a long-term relationship with a man for over a year and a half now, and by no means will I ever cheat on or even entertain the idea of cheating on him. Like you love your girlfriend, I love him--and that's all that matters. Eventhough I feel that your girlfirend's bisexuality should have no bearing on her being faithful to you, I do think that the two of you should have a very long talk regarding her intentions and willingness to remain FULLY committed to the relationship. Sure, like most individuals--gay, straight, or bi--she may very well feel an attraction towards others. Nevertheless, and like those same individuals I speak of, she definitely possesses the capacity to be a loving and very faithful partner, which comes at a price. The price: to let go any possiblities of sharing herself with another--male or female. All-in-all, I have to say that I fully understand your concern and feel that you should find out just how much your partner is willing to put forth to make the relationship work. Is she willing to put her desires for women aside and be with you, or will she refuse to "put up a fight" if and/or when a situation arises where she is propositioned by another woman?
Additional Comment(s): Having a bisexual girlfriend does not automatically translate into threesomes, group sex, or the like. With that said, please try your best to ignore the comments made by some of the other answerers suggesting that you invite another person into your relationship. Contrary to what the television, Rated-R movies, and lonely mens dreams have shown, it's not always the best route to go. Besides, who's to say that all bisexual women would go for it in the first place? (Food for thought.)
2006-12-15 05:01:30 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok...just because she is BI doesn't mean she can't be faithful to you. This only means that she is attracted to both sexes. Where do people get off thinking that if someone is Bisexual that they sleep around all the time? If she says she wants to be with you, then she wants to be with you. Simple~ Being BI only means if she were single right now, she would go out with the person of her choosing that she likes based on their personality without the person's sex getting in the way. She has more choices. Like I said, it doesn't mean she can't or will not be faithful to you. I've been with my hubby for 14 years & I'm BI. The attraction is there, but no different than it is to other men. They'll always be other people you'll find attractive...both of you. It's a matter of decision as to whether you act upon that attraction. That goes for you as well as her. The challenge will be there. If by chance she can't be faithful to you, you don't need her.
2006-12-15 04:15:11 · answer #2 · answered by Jaysangl 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Im lesbian also, so I know how hard it is to find another lesbian girl. Girls that are "Bi" are just trouble. She needs to realize that he isn't the right person for her because he is just using her. You need to do something sweet for her, and then talk to her about this situation. Tell her you love her, but you can't wait for her to love you if she's still hung up on this guy. Don't let her go just yet. Give her a chance to leave him physically and emotionally. But if it doesn't stop soon, you have to find another wonderful woman for you in the future. Best of luck to you hun.
2016-05-24 20:58:08 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I know exactly where your gf is coming from. I feel the same way she does. I think you should keep caring for her. At least she's expressing her feelings and intentions to you and not acting on them. She is choosing to be with you, not someone else-girl or guy. Because of that, she is loyal. But you have every right to feel scared and hurt. I'm sure you could potentially be attracted to other women someday too though, but it doesn't mean you have to act on it. It's best just to talk about these things with each other.
2006-12-15 04:14:04 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If she really has all these questions she will eventually seek out an answer to them one way or the other. It also seems to me that when a person is fulfilled in their relationship, these questions would go away because she is getting everything she needs from the one she is with, and that does not appear to be the case. I think you are very right to be concerned. Good luck.
2006-12-15 04:15:37 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think your very understanding. These south ga men sure wouldn't put up what you have. You're not being over bearing, I think she wants her cake and eat it too. If she still doesn't know what she wants, chances are she never will or WILL end up with a lesbian girlfriend. If you're in it for love and she knows your love is there, I think it's time for her to let you know that her love is there!
2006-12-15 04:13:54 · answer #6 · answered by georgiarose_01 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Went with a Bi GF for a few years. She and I loved going to the strip clubs together and having fun. She was always open about her sexuality and her desires. I never felt jealous or neglected.
2006-12-15 04:18:37 · answer #7 · answered by rilindy 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Just because you love her doesn't mean you can't at least watch he with another girl. That is be dream of most guys!!!
So what if she is curious? She told you she wants to be with you, so let her have her fun with girls on the side. Just make sure she is honest with you about it.
You are VERY lucky, just have fun!
2006-12-15 04:16:49 · answer #8 · answered by Raven 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she can't be who she is within the context of your relationship, than you both should move on and stop causing each other conflict and unhappiness.
Thus, yes, it is wrong what she is putting you through, and you're wrong to keep allowing it.
2006-12-15 07:35:12 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's a tough one. If you aren't open to something like a threesome then maybe you should suggest a break. Don't let her toy with your feelings though.
2006-12-15 04:14:02 · answer #10 · answered by marinera_negrita 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋