How can I raise my self-esteem?

Question

Ever since school started I have been a lot more concerned with the way I look than I normally do.
Girls at school are always talking about me and saying how "ugly" I am. And to tell you the truth...I'm starting to believe them
I ask myself daily. Am I really ugly? Is that why I'm single?
And it seems that the harder I try the uglier I appear to my self.

I don't want to feel this way.

How can I be more confident about the way I look?

Also...It kind of shocks me that I feel this way and I'm only 13...I just don't understand why I have these harsh feelings towards myself. I have thought about going out and just redoing my entire look but is that a little extreme for a 13 yr old?

Answer 1

Unfortunately, girls can be some of the most vicious people on the planet. They're calling you ugly in public because it makes them feel good about themselves. Perverse, but true.

Don't listen to them. Do what the other posters have suggested. Learn style & grace, take a dance class - and this is my addition: study hard so you can get into a good college.

To quote Judge Judy "Beauty fades; dumb is forever."

Answer 2

LOL!!! Am I glad I ain't a teenager!! Now one step at a time, you say folks are talking about you, did you know that evesdroppers NEVER hear positive things about themselves? Did you know that out of ALL the folks you know 33% of them don't like you at all and 33% don't worry or cre about you at all and the other 33% really do like you? This is a known fact, so no matter what you do this ratio will always stay the same for each and every individual. Now about LOOKS they don't really count either, I'd rather go out with an ugly chap than a handsome boring guy who will struggle to keep me awake - know what I mean and I know this is a sure thing where guys are concerned. I had a shcool friend who was reall 'ugly' at school and you should see her know with personality to go with it. Bre patient and concerntrate on school work, the looks and the guys will come later and those folks who think you are ugly - put them aside and study, they will realize at a later stage what mistakes they are making, REMEMBER an accident can change looks overnight too LOL!!! Have a Great Festive Season too.

Answer 3

School is only a very small part of your life. You need to realize that what those people think and say about you will not matter in even 5 years.

Focuse on your inside beauty. Everyone grows older and the outside beauty changes or fades. But the inside beauty, the good heart, the great mind, the kind soul; those are the things that last forever.

Above all remember you are worthy of love and friendship. Be your own person, don't let others (who do not matter) tell you who you should be. Do your own things, be creative with your life, be passionate about something, grow spiritually, be someone elses hero, take those risks, do something you won't usually do. Live life and don't worry about "other"! (They truly don't matter).

Answer 4

Well we all go through this type of thing, though like you said, many grow out of it or some just become too busy to really pay too much attention to themselves. There are books out there that can help you feel better about yourself that give you little exercises and such to help ingrain some confidence into yourself. One thing I've read is to look in the mirror each day and instead of pointing out all your faults, look and point out a good thing about you and look yourself in the eyes and say what that is; smile, and believe it. I know how it is, confidence has never walked with me either, but I wish you the best of luck.

Answer 5

Welcome to the horrible roller coaster that's going to haunt you for the rest of your life. :-(

I deal with this, too. People at school told me I was ugly. I believe it to this day. I know I am not that good looking, even if some people say I am.

I would just urge you to follow your own style. Be neat and clean, wear what you want, try your best to feel good. Exercise. Eat well. Do good things, join some sort of group that is involved with something you are passionate about. That is the only way you're going to be happy, really. Most women feel ugly, so don't worry that you're alone.

Answer 6

Sounds completely normal at 13!
Many obviously ugly people, at all ages, have loads of friends, confidence, skills, and are just plain interesting. Many "pretty" people are alone, frightened, and without any confidence.
But remember, at this age, you have all the skills, energy, postivism, and time to be anything you want to be. You have many years ahead of you to improve every aspect of your looks. But, you may also be quite perfect without doing anything. You also need to remember that you can't control what other people do, think, say, or feel. You can only change yourself.

Answer 7

Take a dance class.

Looking great while motionless is a job for a top model.

But Danny Devito waltzing down the street with a grocery bag will hold the attention longer and with better effect.

Work on grace and style, the rest will find you.

Answer 8

A quick fix would be to get a brand new hair style...something trendy and chic. In addition, Bye a 2 week tanning membership and go everyday. At the end of the two weeks, you will be a brand new you.

Answer 9

Don't worry so much about how you look on the outside, but how you feel about yourself internally. Are you comfortable with yourself? Do you like yourself? Answer these questions, and you will find your own beauty.

Answer 10

talk to ur mom... mine always makes me feel better