My husband and I have an ongoing debate about the child harness I bought for my 2 year old. It is a harness that goes around his chest with a leash at the back. I put it on him when we go out for walks or if we are walking around at the mall (we live in a big city where traffic and lunatics are always a concern). He hates it, and says it is like treating your child like a dog. I, however, love it and find it easier than holding his hand all the time. My son is fine with it, and does not fuss or cry when I put it on him. It seems to give him a sense of freedom from having to hold Mummy's hand all the time. I am curious to know what other parents think - a harness or no harness? Has anyone been in this same situation?
2006-12-15 03:47:16 · 22 answers · asked by BigM 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
I should mention that my son is extremely active and will only sit in his stroller for a certain amount of time before he begins trying to climb out of it or hopping up and down in it.
2006-12-15 03:59:01 · update #1
A remark - I am well aware that raising a child is not "easy" - my reference about the harness being easier was in regard to having my hands full with groceries, toys, etc, with no car. As someone pointed out it is also much easier on my already strained back, either by bending over to hold his hand or to carry him. My son weighs in at 33 lbs for 2 years old.
2006-12-15 05:56:06 · update #2
There is nothing wrong with using a harness. My mom used one on me when I was a toddler. I have a toddler, he hates being constrained in a stroller he is too heavy to hold and refuses to hold my hand. He wants free reign and with it being a very busy shopping season and harness would be a blessing.
As for the whole treating kids like animals...Good lord like little kids don't enjoy pretending they are animals to begin with and dont seize oppurtunities to eat dog food every time you turn around!
2006-12-15 04:09:00 · answer #1 · answered by Jennifer V 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
1) It is easier on your back then bending down to hold hands.
2) It is safe
3) Umm I spank my dog, some people spank their kids... what's the difference?
Seriously small children have little impulse control, much less than most dogs. I have both, ok. I would trust my dog walking beside me on a busy street, more than my child. However I would leash my dog because one cat or squirrel and he would be gone before I could correct him. Sure as soon as I said "come" he would turn back, but that is still long enough to get hit by a car.
If it works for you and your child it works. However it is upsetting your husband so that is a problem. Maybe when your husband is around your husband can hold your son's hand and be responsable for him and you can use the harness when you are out alone?
Personally I think it is great. Then again I keep talking about getting my baby a remote dog coller. Because instant correction (even just a beep) and instant reward (usually a clicker in your hand) work so much better than moderate delayed punishment and reward! But that is another topic for another day.
Though my husband was against the dog collar for years, and 6 months after we bought it, he just kept putting it off. Until I was pregnant and I said enough is enough. I can not have an uncontrollable dog and a baby. Worked like a charm. My husband now thinks it was the greatest thing ever invented. So tell your husband the proof is in the pudding.
Though hopefully after forcing your son to hold hands for an entire outing will show him the harness just works better for your child. Ok, now I am totally rambling. Hope I made a little sense.
2006-12-15 04:37:41 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I have a 14 month old son. Last night we were at Christmas on the square in the little town that I live in. I had him in his stroller, but he wanted to get out, so I got him out, the first thing he does is take off running, so I was forced to hold him while we waited in line to see santa. I saw someone who had the harness you spoke of and I am going to purchase one. At least it will give him some freedom without putting him at risk. I think it is fine. I think that it is better than having them restrained to a stroller. He wants to be a big boy and walk around like the other kids. He refuses to hold my hand, so I think the harness will be a great help to both of us. I don't see anything wrong with it, it is just a safety measure.
2006-12-15 04:03:20 · answer #3 · answered by sks26 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First off- That Pinkeskitten response was rude and she should consider unlocking the caps button and trying spell check before giving any more advice...
I used to feel the same way your husband did until my toddler wiggled out of my hands and ran as fast as she could through a crowded store...laughing the whole way. She hid under a clothes rack and I was frantically looking for her with store security for 10 minutes...it was the longest 10 minutes of my life. After we found her, she tried to make a break for it several time there after...
I ONLY used it when we were out in a very crowded situation because generally she was really good but she'd get that urge to run sometimes and she was fast!
She's 14 years old now- alive, well and in one piece and doesn't remember being on the harness and she still likes to hear the stories about how she was like Houdini when she was little...
2006-12-15 07:50:28 · answer #4 · answered by preciouspinkla 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a pretty popular issue!
I, myself, don't have one, but I'm not against it. Usually holding my sons hand or riding in a wagon does the trick. My girlfriend has two children, 5 and 2, on one of our shopping trips she broke out the harness, it was just like a backpack with a strap attached for holding, her two year old loved the freedom and it was MUCH easier on her. When I was little, I remember my mom using this wrist band thing that attached to my wrist with velcro, a telephone cord thing inbetween then a wrist band to put around her wrist. Guess what, It was bought after my aunt lost me in the mall when I was four. They shut the mall down and extra police where sent in to find me. I was found hours later in the candy isle of Gayfers, but still, it could have been much worse. I'm sure my mom would have gladly told any onlooker with a negative comment to F*** off.
2006-12-15 04:16:34 · answer #5 · answered by Dolphin 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If you like the harness and your son doesn't mind wearing it then by all means put it on him. I personally do not like them. It seems kinda weird to me to be putting a leash on a child. But if it works for people then let them use it. I can see how living in a big city and not much room for a stroller then it would work. So just keeping using it as long as your child doesn't mind.
2006-12-15 03:53:19 · answer #6 · answered by TheRaven_poe 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Use it if you fell you need to and don't pay anybody else any attention! I have used one for my daughter a few times. She is EXTREMELY busy and active. She can get out of her stroller and run off (If I'm able to get her in there to begin with) Once my 2 yr old ran out of the store at the mall and ran down the mall and into another store and was hiding from me!! She was sitting and I was undoing a shoe lace of a shoe she was going to try on and she stood up and ran away...I had to leave ALL my stuff and my purse to chase after her. She could have gotten hit by that train at the mall, got lost, fell down the escalator, kidnapped- ANYTHING!
Use it if you feel you need to! A restrained kid is better than a dead, injured or missing kid.
2006-12-15 07:04:42 · answer #7 · answered by Alison 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree 100% with using a harness. My ran away from me in a store once and as I was running behind him, screaming his name and pushing the shopping cart with my infant daughter in it, he went right out the main door. He would have run into the parking lot if someone I know hadn't been outside to grab his coat. He would never stay in the cart because he would put his leg over the side and constantly try to climb out.
After that incident I bought the harness and gave him the choice. He most often picked the harness over going in the shopping cart. I expected people to give me alot of flack over it but the only comments from strangers were very positive. It was for his own safety.
This was in the Spring/Summer and now he walks nicely and behaves properly when we go to town.
Coincidentally my Mom had one for me and I'm not traumatized from it!
2006-12-15 05:00:37 · answer #8 · answered by thoughts_in_a_blender 2 · 4⤊ 0⤋
I believe they are a god send. My daughter has a 2 year old boy that loves to run away from them no matter where they are. They also live in a large city. I went right out and bought her a harness. Thank goodness I did, because a week later we heard that a 2 year old was running from his mom up by one of the popular malls and she was caring her newborn and couldn't catch him fast enough. He ran out into the parking lot and was hit by a semi killing him instantly. So to me if it takes a harness to make sure something horrible doesn't happen like that then so be it. Stick to your guns. Your child's life could depend on it.
2006-12-15 03:57:22 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
I use to think it was aweful seeing a child in one of those harnesses...until I HAD a kid! My son is very active as well and hates his stroller and is constantly pulling away from my grip. I say forget what others think, if it's the safest choice for your child then do it. Dogs are put on leashes to protect OTHERS from the dog, your son is being put in the harness to protect HIM from others. I think you are making a decision tailored to your son and that is what parenting is about. Good job and Good luck!
2006-12-15 04:49:59 · answer #10 · answered by emrobs 5 · 4⤊ 0⤋