For my 40th birthday my mom is taking me on a cruise. My husband thinks it the weirdest thing to do and that I am "deserting" my family( I have 3 sons). It is for 4 nights and my mother-in-law is coming to stay with him. He probably won't have to lift a finger because she will do everything for him. Is going on a cruise with my mom such a bad thing.
2006-12-15 03:45:35 · 18 answers · asked by kimberly m. 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Go, have a great time, and tell him to deal.
He's probably upset, not because you are "deserting" your children, but because your leaving him to deal with things. He's hiding his own insecurities with excuses and guilt trips to keep you home. MIL or not, he's probably afraid of what things will be like without you there.
Sit him down, when the kids are out or in bed, and have a long talk with him. Before he goes off in a fit, point out a few things:
1. This is a gift from your mother.
2. This is your birthday, and you should be able to enjoy it.
3. You only turn 40 once, and it's one of those big milestone birthdays.
4. After years of taking care of him, the kids, the house, etc... you deserve a break.
5. You won't even be gone a whole week, and his mother will be there to help out.
6. You have spent x number of years putting your family first, and now you want to think of yourself for a change.
And whatever else you want to say. If he's still being self centered, then throw the guilt back at him:
7. By the time the boys are grown, and don't need looking after, there is no guarantee that your mother will still be in good enough health to enjoy a cruise or other vacation with you. So if you were to put it off until then, she may not be able to even go.
8. This would be a great oppertunity for him to learn more about his boys, and bond with them.
9. This is a great chance for them to get closer to grandmom.
10. This is a chance for him to have some real quality time with his mother.
11. This is a chace for his mother to feel loved, wanted, and needed like when he (and any siblings) were young. Once a mother, always a mother.
Don't let him ruin this special trip with your mother.
2006-12-15 04:08:51 · answer #1 · answered by welches_grape_jelly 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No it isn't a bad thing and you aren't deserting your family. Maybe he's jealous because he didn't think of such a wonderful gift for your 40th birthday. I say if you have made arrangements for him and the children to be taken care of then go on the cruise with your mom and enjoy yourself. You only turn 40 once. Happy Birthday and Have fun!
2006-12-15 03:53:13 · answer #2 · answered by juicie813 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't blame him! He feels left out. Wouldn't you? Your husband should come first! Not your mother. Your birthday should be spent with your family. That was selfish of her on her part. And you allowed. You disrespected yourself and your own family. If you do go on that cruise you will be miserable. Because you know it was wrong to do. Why couldn't mom pay for a cruise for you and your husband and the boys? Or you and your hubby and she stay home with the boys? Sounds like she has control over you still. I would really be offended by knowing that! Whatever you do I do wish you a happy birthday. And a Merry Christmas to your family. I hope it will be.
2006-12-15 04:08:22 · answer #3 · answered by bountyhunter101 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am jealous, I wish I could do this with my mom, she died in February of 06. Your husband is being a selfish man, and he may be a little spoiled. You probably do not leave him alone with the chidlren often. Just let him stew, and go on with your mom and have a great time. This will also give him time with his mom and the children time with grandmother. His mom will probably straighten his attitude out. Mother and daughter quality time. Good for you to have such a loving and caring generous mother. God bless****
2006-12-15 04:18:58 · answer #4 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You go, girl. He's probably a bit jealous or was pondering some big thing for your birthday.
You aren't deserting your family and deserve some time with your mom. Your husband and kids won't die of starvation or lack of clean clothes in your absense because your MIL is coming to the rescue.
If your husband is still being an old poop about it - get your sons involved and excited for you. Get a map with your itinerary on it so they can follow along. Do an internet search together on your ports-of-call and ask them to help you pick out what you should see while you're there.
Have a great time and bring them back a cool souvenier.
2006-12-15 04:02:22 · answer #5 · answered by parsonsel 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
No it's not wrong. Your husband is acting so selfish and he is acting like you should put him before your mom but you shouldn't. It's nice of your mom to do this for you on your birthday and you shouldn't let your husband ruin it. He can take care of himself for a few days. I'm taking it that your kids are grown and on their own so it won't kill him to be without you for a few days. Is he afraid of you cheating or something? I would love to go on a mother daughter cruise with my mom and even if my husband disagreed with it I'd still do it. Your mom won't be around forever and you need time to spend with her. These are memories you'll have forever. It's a once in a life time opportunity that you should take.
2006-12-15 03:54:01 · answer #6 · answered by Irish Girl 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is it such a bad thing that you enjoy your 40th birthday, why dont you ask him that? There is nothing wrong with your mother treating you, she has done that for 40yrs and she will do it for plenty more, i assume. You need to let your lazy as* husband know that it is your time, and he has to understand that and he has to treat you too, do not settle for being a door mat, you will only resent it and him eventually. GO HAVE A GOOD TIME AND HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
2006-12-15 03:53:26 · answer #7 · answered by lezah7 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't let your husband make you feel guilty. Go on the cruise and have a wonderful. You will never regret spending this time with your Mom. Your husband needs to get over it. Tell him I said so.
2006-12-15 03:57:51 · answer #8 · answered by sunny 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your Hubby needs to get a grip! What a selfish way to act - you aren't deserting your family - it's a BIRTHDAY PRESENT. And you're 40 and that only comes around ONCE. Tell him to stop being such a selfish baby!
2006-12-15 03:49:14 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
Tell your husband to stop being a baby and get over it. Nothing is wrong with you wanting to go out on a trip with your mom for a couple of days. As long as your children will be taken care of I don't see a problem. Sounds like your husband is just going to be missing you and doesn't know how to deal with his emotions. Poor little over grown baby.
2006-12-15 04:01:25 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋