What if I suspect a child has been molested?

Question

I babysit a child who has recently done some things that I consider unusual for his age. He drew a very graphic nude picture and this morning I found him lying on top of another child. I don't want to overreact, or to alienate his mother. What is normal for them to do at this age? He is only 5.

Answer 1

I don't think it would be overreacting to discuss it with his mother. As long as you don't approach the conversation in an attacking way or act as if you are embarrassed talking about it ,or that she should be. I probably wouldn't say " I think he's being molested.", but you should matter of factually state the things you have noticed. His parents have right to be informed of this and if you do not tell them you would be doing you, the child and the parents a disservice. After all you are employed to protect the safety of the child. This will probably evolve into a conversation and you can watch her reactions to make a better decision as to what to do or say next. Remember it is probably nothing, young kids are curious about bodies, my 3 year old girl thinks that "hang boobies" (her term) are hilarious and will occasionally add extra circles to a stick figure. Seeing him lay on another child could be something you saw out of context or maybe he saw something on TV. Depending on how often you babysit it probably wouldn't be out of bounds for you to discuss good touch bad touch with him or to at least suggest that the mother do so.

Answer 2

He may have been exposed to inappropriate material (either on TV, in a movie or pornography).They are very curious at this age and will mimic anything they see. It could be as simple as that. Children who are molested tend to have outbursts of anger, are very withdrawn and live in fear of their secret being revealed, especially if the molester has threatened harm to the child or the childs mother.

I would mention the behaviour to his mother. It's awkward, no doubt, but the child must be protected just in case. Or you can speak with him first - ask him calmly and gently where he saw that behaviour and why he did it. Don't accuse or tell him it's inappropriate, just gather some information.

Talk with the mother and tell her about the conversation. Then either leave it be (depending on what the mother does) or take the next step which would be contacting you local Child Protective Services for an intervention and check in.

A very difficult situation, but its a great thing that you care for this little boy.

Answer 3

Definitely talk to the mother about it. Find out what she has to say. Hopefully he has only been watching something inappropriate on TV (still not great, but better than the alternative). But, if you suspect he has been molested, you have an obligation to report the suspicion to Family Services. If you do not, and the child has been molested, you could be convicted of negligence and would face a fine and possibly jail time. This is a very serious matter and should be reported immediately if the evidence is there.

Answer 4

It's not your child, please talk to the mother/father about it before doing anything. It's her/his responsibility and right as a parent. They may not know that the child has been molested or may have not picked up on any of the signs you have and would feel terribly guilty if you went to the authorities rather than them. Show them the picture, explain what you saw the child doing, and ask if they've seen any strange behavior from the child. Check their reactions when you bring this up because it may clue you into if one of the parents is doing the molesting. ONLY IF YOU ARE POSITIVE OR HAVE A PRETTY GOOD IDEA THAT THE PARENTS ARE MOLESTING THE CHILD- then contact the social services department in your area.

Answer 5

Although the behavior isn't specifically "normal" for every 5 year old...I would talk to the child and mother before calling CPS. Even if nothing is going on the family would still have the stigma of being molesters for the rest of their lives if you get CPS to investigate. Ask the little boy why he was behaving that way with another child and where he saw the things he drew. It could be something as simple as he stumbled onto Daddy's collection of "adult" mags or saw something on TV he shouldn't have. And neither of those situations involves his parents being bad parents or abusing him. Good luck with this situation.

Answer 6

I also had an experience. I had babysat for a family as a favor for a friend. About a year later, I was asked to do this again. The little girl, maybe about 6, kept rubbing herself in that area. I called two of my friends to come over and tell me what they thought, then my boyfriend stopped by to say hi, and the girl starting to ask him to touch her. That was when we all just freaked out. I was only 15 at the time, and I knew something was wrong. We called the police, who came by and took all our statements as to her behaviour. The father, after investigation, had indeed been molesting her within that last year.

You may make an anonymous call to Child Protective Services, take a photo of the drawing in question for them, and if you observe the child laying on top of another child again, also photograph this behaviour. The child may have simply seen and adult film and is mocking the film, which is harmless, but then again, he may be in danger. Just be cautious and don't jump to judgement.

Answer 7

I know it doesn't sound right, but he could of walk in on his mom
and dad having sex. Or he could of seen something on TV where
he wasn't supposed to be watching TV at that time. Keep an Eye
on him to see what else he might do or say that might really suspect of being molested. I am speaking from experience I was
molested by a neighbor and for a while no one knew because I was so scared to say something to anyone. I thought if I told I would get into trouble, I was only 9 years old at the time. until the
guy got caught. After the word was out I was a better kid in heart
and I felt much better. If you want you can ask him or show his
mother the picture so she can have a talk to him. NO Child should be hurt in any way. I try to take care of my own children
and grandchildren from predators from getting to my family. My
Brother-In-Laws Brother molested my nephew while he was in
my custody and I pressed charges against his ***. He also tried
to molest my cousin and I confronted and I hit him at least 4 times in his face for even thinking of trying to touch him. He is NO
longer a loud in this City order by the Judge. Now you can investigate on yourself and keep a good eye on things. Speak to
his mom and tell her how you feel and if she doesn't like it then
there is something going on or she feels threaten by you.

Answer 8

Contact some authority on the matter for advice. You don't have to report anything until you yourself has had some guidance in this area. I think it would be wise to talk to the parents. Make them aware of this behavior. It does bother me about the picture, how ever you can't be sure as to what precipitate this behavior. If you feel it is detrimental to the other children in you care you may need to take more aggressive action. Whatever you decide, take action right away! This is not a little issue. Silence can kill... on so many levels.
Thanx & God Bless

Answer 9

unfourtunatly you can call child services they will check out the alligations but if they find nothing (and remember they are short staffed over worked) and the mother figures out its you you lost the only chance you have to help the kid
but you cant stand by and do nothing if you are alone with the kid ask some innocent question try and find out more because it will take about three weeks for child services to get there
first and foremost get up after reading this awnser and call child services even if its not true how can you live knowing a child is being hurt DO IT

Answer 10

As a child care provider you took a personal oath to protect all children at all costs. You can ask the child where he learned such behavior and see what he says, but most importantly you need to call your local police department. It is no betrayal of the mother as she may not know. His actions are a learned behavior from being done or imitating what hes seen. Don't wait till he trys the behavior on another child!