2006-12-15 03:30:05 · 32 answers · asked by bigberry 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
To hell with the pastor he can fu*k himself.()
2006-12-15 03:32:05 · answer #1 · answered by Saint 5 · 4⤊ 2⤋
Its depends on how well the pastor knows you, or how well the pastor knows who you are marrying and it depends what the pastor knows about the person that you are marrying. If the pastor knows you and your family well then he is probably looking out for you and because he doesn't want anything to happen to you.
However if the pastor knows the person that you are marrying you need to try and find out how he knows the person an what exactly the spiritual reason are. You could try talking to your pastor and asking them to tell you more about what they know because you don't understand what they mean and if they don't clarify and explain it fully then you will marry the person. Hopefully by you telling the pastor this it will make them take you what and why they believe that this person is not good for you
2006-12-16 09:03:24 · answer #2 · answered by Baps . 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are asking this question here, I'm thinking you are in real need of an answer, but the thing is I also think you are asking because you are scared to make up you own mind.
If the pastor knows you well then he might have a point by telling you not to marry. If He is someone you trust and have talked to about your concerns and your spiritual well being then the fact that he has such a strong opinion about it shouldn't be ignored.
Sometimes we think that what we are doing is right but in comes a person who sees everything from the outside and knows us well, those people tend to be more objective than us, and if they truly care for our well being they will tell us things that we might not want to hear.
If you are in doubt, it means you shouldn't marry yet; I tell you this because I think that a little bit of common sense can and will keep marriages going strong and couples from making mistakes before they decide to get married.
I would in your case, listen to the pastor, ask him what his concerns are based on facts, and then talk to my future spouse about them. There is a lot to be understood and learned from people's reactions, if something irks you or makes you uncomfortable about getting married, then don't.
Good luck.
2006-12-15 05:21:45 · answer #3 · answered by White 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Depends on what the reason is. Have you been having pre-marital counseling for a while and many discussions with this pastor? Has this been your or his pastor for many years and knows your spiritual foundation/growth? Are you and your fiancee of 2 differnt religions and base befiefs?
I'd have a private talk with the pastor and ask him to explain why and if he comes up with bona fide accurate reasons, I'd probably consider postponing the wedding. I'd also discuss it with my parents as they know the both of you too and might be able to help you come to a decision.
But if you're desperately in love/lust, go ahead and get married and do what you want. Your choice.
2006-12-15 03:40:52 · answer #4 · answered by parsonsel 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
well, I have news for you. If the pastor tells you not to marry this person because of spiritual reasons..it is probably because u are unequally yoked. That means either you don't come from the same religion or you are not equal with your walk with God yet. It is hard on a couple that has two different religions. I married a guy from a catholic background...I am pentecostal. BAD MOVE! It didn't work, I am in the middle of a divorce because of it. The Bible says that you are not to be unequally yoked together and the reason God said that is to avoid divorce and maritial issues. You are to become one with your wife and you can't do that and suceed with God if you guys believe in 2 different things. you will have problems raising kids, schooling, discipline, which church u gonna go to. etc.... just think long and hard before you do this. Marriages like this don't last long if both of you are trying to honor different religions. It isn't gonna work if both of you sinned all the time either becuase in order for a marriage to work...you need God! Good Luck and listen to your pastor...He speaks the truth.
2006-12-15 03:54:23 · answer #5 · answered by T&E 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Read the bible about being unevenly yoked. If the pastor is telling you not to marry, then the pastor sees failure in the future. Especially if its a spiritual issue. You will never have true peace and happiness if there is a spiritual issue.
Trust me, I only speak on this from expierence. If I had trusted my inner voice, I would not be going to counseling at a safe house and working on ending my second marriage. Slow down and look at what the problems will be in your marriage. IF the pastor can offer a relationship test for you and your mate, take the test. You will be amazed at the outcome...good or bad.
2006-12-15 03:36:23 · answer #6 · answered by TracyBee 2 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Marriage is a BIG step in your life, unless you are like the growing trend of celebrity marriages, and the Pastor is just making sure that YOU really want to get married for the RIGHT reasons, maybe he thinks you are NOT ready for a lifetime commitment, and he is looking after YOUR happiness and spiritual well being, and not trying to be negative and nasty!
2006-12-15 03:40:26 · answer #7 · answered by tattie_herbert 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It is not any business of the Pastor. Tell the Pastor that you do not think he is the person that should marry you and your fiance and go find a new Pastor.
Good luck!
2006-12-15 03:39:39 · answer #8 · answered by BlankProfile 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
If you're a Christian, you should be living according to the Word of God. Pastors don't always give good advice. As long as it ties in with the Word, it's sound. If it's the part about "not being unequally yoked", you're better off taking that advice. The majority of Christians I know, married to unsaved people, have very miserable marriages, and don't have their spouses support. God obviously knew ungodly people have nothing in common with godly people. For obvious reasons (not about being perfect, but about having the mind of Christ) So, It's not worth the grief! There are many great Godly blokes out there. Be patient and the right one will come if you faithfully ask and trust God. And don't listen to counsel from ungodly people. The word of God is your only truth!
2006-12-15 04:03:39 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
If I think the pastor doesn't have a well-founded argument, I'd get a new pastor who's supportive and have the new one do the ceremony.
2006-12-15 03:33:26 · answer #10 · answered by staubfinger 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There are good reasons to listen to pastors, sometimes they see things we cannot. There are good reasons to ignore pastors, sometimes they fear things that we're healthier not being afraid of...
Talk to your family and friends, see if they're seeing similar issues in the relationship. If everyone you know besides your pastor thinks you've made a good choice of mate, find another church and another pastor. If people outside of your church think your intended isn't for you, listen to them.
Good Luck!
2006-12-15 03:56:13 · answer #11 · answered by Kya Rose 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋