my Tim has joint custody and set court orders for visitation with his exwife for their 8yr old son.The problem is whenever she gets a new bf she wants to change the visitation schedule around to accommodate her.The court order is set up so Tim has his son every other day from after school till 7pm and every other weekend.Tim allways follow this unless there is an emergency.His ex routinely calls 15 mins before we are to bring him home to tell us she will be late and we have to bring him home later or will call us to come and get him earlier from her..Most of the time shes only late by 30 mins or so but there are times when she wants him to keep him like whole days which interfers with our plans.The worse part is Tim allows this to happen and will not say a thing to her or even asks me if its ok.He will not say anything to her as he is afriad to confront her and make "problems" for his son.I think hes just afraid of her period and allowing her to control us.
2006-12-15 03:07:42 · 10 answers · asked by suedees1997 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
should i just drop this? If i push this tim and i will have a major fight over this and i will not win
2006-12-15 03:08:53 · update #1
Sounds like Tim is about the only stability in this young fellas life and that he is just trying to be a good father. Learn to live with this lifestyle as it will probably not change in the next little while anyway and I commend your husband for playing such an active role in raising his young son. In addition the reality is that you and this boy will also develop a bond that he will remember as he matures and he will appreciate all you and your man have sacrificed for him later in life. Be the adult here and realize that this is Tim's blood and that he is not doing anything here to intentionally destroy your relationship and that his ex can deal with her problems and/or new boyfriends as they come and go but that you and he are setting good examples to his son, unlike his mother. Best of luck to all involved.
2006-12-15 03:20:55 · answer #1 · answered by crazylegs 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Depending on how many boyfriends mom has brought into this situation, I might ask my husband to file for custody. I would also ask my husband to talk with his exwife about the situation, and try to work something out. I realize that it can be annoying that she does this, but Tim is taking responsibility for his son and doing the right thing. You have to take this one step at a time, and not let her get you down, but also don't let his son feel as though it's a burden to keep him for the extra time, or he might become resentful and feel you don't like him. Just smile and nod for the moment and keep working with all involved to make sure everyone gets some sort of happiness.
2006-12-15 05:48:54 · answer #2 · answered by Angie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with Crazylegs. One more comment I'd like to make. By law you have no say in the matter. It is between Tim and the Ex. I would drop it or you may end up causing a big problem.
2006-12-15 03:40:54 · answer #3 · answered by Chillin-it 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe its not a problem for him like it is for you b/c its his son and he enjoy spending time with his son and its not an inconvenience for him b/c it gives him extra time with his kid. what's the point in asking you? Its his child why would he expect that it wouldn't be okay with you if he has him an extra day or something so maybe you should be more understanding of him and his relationship with his son don't pressure him to say anything to his ex wife b/c in the end he just might resent your whole attitude about the situation.
2006-12-15 03:33:37 · answer #4 · answered by Forever_Young 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, if your husband allows this to keep going, it will keep going. It will not get any better. You may want to find other solutions, such as changing the custody so that the child will reside with one parent and visit the other on alternate weekends. Your life situations seems to be more stable, so you may consider offering the child's mom for you to have full custody, so she will be free to live her life and have her bfs.
2006-12-15 03:31:16 · answer #5 · answered by o302 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes I would drop it since it's giving Tim more time with his son and your right that's a fight you can't win because as much as he loves you he will always love his son more and his son will always come first so if her being a crappy mother is giving them more time them leave it alone it's better for the child to be you guy then at home with a babysitter while she's running the streets
y/w
2006-12-15 03:43:38 · answer #6 · answered by Young and Wise 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like he doesn't mind keeping his son and you should be proud and supportive of this! Make plans to include his son, your step-son. I think if you have plans that he can share in, you won't be as upset and maybe you'll even start enjoying both your husband and your step-son's company. Sounds like you've got a great guy that cares about his child....support that.
2006-12-15 03:34:31 · answer #7 · answered by Susan 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Send an anonymous note to the wifes lawyer and tell him exactly what she has been up to,by law she has to uphold the court order.Deviation from this puts her in contempt of court.
2006-12-15 03:37:39 · answer #8 · answered by michelle s 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Whoa big deal. Ex wives are just hard to deal with. You should confront HER in a nice way and explain woman to woman about the situation. Take it easy.. He's yours, he loves you and you love him.
2006-12-15 03:13:29 · answer #9 · answered by Zenithia Victora 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe just is just enjoying all the father and son time he can get.
2006-12-15 03:11:58 · answer #10 · answered by Summer 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋