Should I buy my two teenage children christmas gifts this year?

Question

I am a single mom and I do everything for my two teenage kids (17 and 13 yrs old). I work two jobs and I make sure they have a roof over their heads, food everynight, and clothes on their back. My daugher who is 17 has a problem doing any little thing I ask of her (take the meat out of the freezer, bring me a glass of water) and my son can be disrespectful to adults when I'm not around, sometimes does his homework, sometimes does his chores. However my daughter let me know that she wants an ipod, ps3, and some jewelry for christmas. My son tells me he wants a xbox 360, games, and some clothes. last year they didnt even buy me anything or even make anything for christmas. I feel like they take me for granted and Im fed up with them. All the kids and the adults in my neighborhood say they wish they had a mother like me. Their dad is just sorry and full of empty promises who forgets birthdays, christmas', and doesnt pay child support. I dont think they should get xmas this year.

Answer 1

Get them something that you can afford. Back when I was their age I was so selfish and did not comprehend that stuff cost money I know my parents did the best to make us happy, but I didnt get every thing I wanted and lived through it. Your a single mom and struggling get what you can afford they might be mad but in the long run they will look back and understand your sacrifice. No, do not completely cut out xmas, but do what you can do.

Answer 2

id say, buy them some cheap presents or something they need and make them earn the money for the stuff they want. they sound like ungrateful wenches. the 17 yr old should be helping out around the house, not making your life harder and the 13 yr old should be doin the same thing. Explain to them that until they learn that BEING GOOD ALL YEAR is the point of getting christmas gifts, that they want- until that time they will continue to recieve only things that they need.... and iant it slighlty a little alte in the year to be buying these things? I mean htey want all this expensive stuff and your a single mom. Besides, they didnt get you nothing ...why should you waste your money on the ungrateful brats? ANd dont just buy them stuff because theyre dad is a real A********.. Sounds like you have a problem thats bigger than christmas wit your kids.

Answer 3

Sheesh!! I certainly wouldn't be splashing out on gifts like that if they treated me like dirt!! I don't think it would be right for them to get nothing, but I'd certainly not make it anything huge or overly exciting. Sounds mean, but if they have no respect for you now and you get them everything they want above and beyond the things they need, they will continue to walk over you, and that's not right.
I'm not long out of my teenage years (I'm 25) but I wouldn't have dreamed of treating my parents this way as a teenager, so it's not "Just a teen thing"...they've obviously learned a lack of respect from somewhere (their school friends perhaps? or maybe the sorry excuse for a father you mentioned?) and they're giving it to you dose after dose...all the little things add up, don't they? I would toughen up on them in the new year (actually why wait? Start now!) and make them earn the extras they get...if they don't do A, B and C, then they won't be getting that new whatever-it-is-they-want. I wouldn't only get them a few things they need (like a new pair of basic, non-huge-label jeans to replace the ones with the hole in the butt...try old navy!) and leave the special things for another time if they deserve them!! They'll get over it because not getting an xbox or some new jewelery isn't the end of the world!!

...It's called Tough Love for a reason, right?

Answer 4

Your children are old enough to learn the true meaning of christmas, why we celbrate it in the first place. Peace on Earth and Goodwill toward Men. By all means do not cut out gifts entirely, but I would write each of them a letter. Explain to them how you feel, and that if they want you to give them things that they want, then they HAVE to do things for you throuought the year.(ie: chores, respect, help, contributions.) Slip it under their door, and see if they respond. (Talking to a teen only leads to confrontation.)
I would explain to them that Ipods and 360's are just not in the budget but you would love for them to make a list of things they need or would like (clothes, shoes ...not the extra pricey ones, bath and body items, and in some cases jewelry). You will do your best, that is all they can expect of you. In our family, we have everyone (4 kids 2 parents) actually craft a gift for eachother. This way the little ones who do not have $ can make, wrap, and give a gift. I get these every year from my kids and it means more than any other gift I get. (Last year my girls, ages 10 & 6 made me a jar full of candies, (all prettied up of course) and an ornament.) I made them each a purse out of their old jeans.
It is really fun to see what they come up with. I give them each $20 and take them to the craft store. I help them add up their items, but do not ask what they are making. They also get the story of the Jesus, and the Drummer boy read to them.
Teenagers often do not have the concept of money down. I would set them down with your bills, and how much you make and see if they could do your budget? It might be a reality check. I told my 11year old how many hours Dad had to work to earn the x box. She was amazed, and no longer wants it.

I DO like the idea of not putting the gifts under the tree, it will make them think. I did it last year to my daughter because she was picking fights. She has been an angel this year! She made sure to be off the Naughty list. ( I put a letter under the tree from santa, asking her to try and be better next year. Then P.S. your presents are in the coat closet.)

Answer 5

I would say no! At first I was going to yell at you, lol (just by reading the headline) because I am nearly 22 and still get gifts from my parents, so does my husband who is 26, but then when I read on....No, they don't deserve anything. Maybe it will wake them up and make them realize they can not act like that! Especially the older one! She is nearly an adult and is acting like a 6 yr old. Get them both a pack of underwear and socks. Buy YOUSELF something nice and tell them Merry Christmas! You are working very hard, and the least they could do is respect you! God Bless you and Merry Christmas! Good Luck!

Answer 6

Give them the gift of charity. Why don't you all go to volunteer at a "soup kitchen" for the day? Or maybe sometime right before the big day. It seems to me they expect thing and don't appreciate anything. Our children are no more entitled than the previous generations. In fact we need to teach them to be MORE responsible. If the future generations of this country don't start stepping up well.... we'll be getting our butts kicked! Think about it, then research it.
If they don't want to volunteer, take them shopping, let them "get" what they want, then take them to a shelter and let them hand the gifts out. maybe if they see people who have nothing they'll appreciate what they do have. Don't tell them your plan. Just do it. I can almost promise Christmas will be more fulfilling for all of you. It's just a thought. GOOD LUCK!! You know, it could turn into a wonderful tradition they can pass on.
Thanx & HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!

Answer 7

Okay, take it from a teen. Your daughter's attitude is normal, unfortunately, and so is your son's. It's nothing against you, but it does sound like they don't appreciate you like they should. Do they know that you bend over backwards for them? Try talking to them one day about how much you do for them, and tell them that you don't feel like they appreciate what you do. Ask them, nicely, if they could pick up some slack around the house, just to help you out. Let them know that just loving you isn't enough-- they need to show you that they love you, just like you show them that you love them. Christmas gifts are one way of showing someone you love and appreciate them. I'm not saying ask your children for gifts. I'm saying that you should definitely get them presents. But an iPod, a PS3, an Xbox 360... these are EXPENSIVE! I will agree with you that if your children aren't being respectful and appreciative of you, they don't DESERVE these things. That would be handing them something for nothing-- spoiling them. Instead, maybe you should get themless expensive gifts that you know they'll still like. Clothes and jewelry are not out of the question. But not an iPod. Your daughter even asking for one is ridiculous. Let's spend mom's hard-earned money on frivolous crap and give her nothing in return. Right. Anyway, you definitely need to have a conversation with them. Let them know you're hurt. If they're good kids, they'll understand.

Good luck!

Answer 8

BAH HUMBUG!!
Okay, those kids sound like typical bratty teens. I think I was once that way. The fact that you are asking if you should buy them anything probably means that you want to but you are annoyed with them. Kids are bratty, that's so true, but they don't realize how bratty they are. I'm older now and regret being sassy to my mom. Even now, in my old age, mom still likes to dote on me and I tell her I don't deserve it, because I'm a responsible adult. But moms are sweet. I'm sure you are, as you make sure your kids have a decent life by working two jobs.
Get your kids one inexpensive indulgence, I say, and maybe also buy them some bonds that will mature over time and when they are older and wiser (and more appreciative of mom) they will be thrilled when they go cash out their bonds.
Forget the IPOD and XBox, but definitely get them something cool and fun and inexpensive (but make sure you get them something else that demonstrates the importance of investing in their future). Cash has longevity; IPODs and XBox's are just fads.
The bottom line is that you and your kids need to have a happy occasion. You deserve it and so do they (despite being brats).

Answer 9

If you truly love you children & if they truely love you then you should all want each other to have a good Christmas together. Sounds like your just mad @ this moment & need to cool off. I cant imagine a mother saying her children dont deserve Christmas. BUT I do know some kids that Dont deserve Christmas. But from your descripson above they dont sound half as wild as the kids I'm talking about. As far as your daughter wanting an ipod, go look @ a Sony mp3 player, it's the same thing & you can find a really cool one for about 100 bucks. As for wanting a ps3, I would tell her to forget it. & you could do the same for your son. guess I'm rattling on now...hope this helps

Answer 10

I don't think that you should ignore christmas - Maybe y ou should give them a gift that reflects the true meaning of Christmas - a donation to a charity in their name. Buy them each one small meaningful gift and then volunteer as a famiy at a soup kitchen or something - even if they refuse to do anything while their there it might wake them up a bit.

I think you should have a chat with them before Christmas though and not surprise them with this sudden change on Christmas morning - try and stay unemotional and give them the facts. You are sick and tired of being treated that way and this year Christmas is going to be about the true meaning of Christmas not about acting spoiled and selfish.

Good luck.

Answer 11

well, you daughter seems nice, and does everything you want her to do, but a ps3, ipod, and jewlery will cost AT LEAST $1,000, and seeing ur a single mom, on 2 jobs. That may be overloading, get either a PS3, or the IPOD and jewlery. and how is doing every little thing u ask a problem?

for ur son, make a deal with him that if he does his chores and homework, and treats you right, you will buy him the stuff. but tell him, if he does not do with work, the 360 goes back to the store

and make them buy/make something for you