How do I get my 2 year old to go to bed without screaming when we leave the room?

Answer 1

Eventually, he will stop. He is trying to manipulate you. Is it working?

Answer 2

Some folks say let them cry. This may be a valid answer, but I can not do that. One, I don't think it is a great idea for them to feel abandoned and two, if my 2 year old cries hard for a long time, he thows up everything.

I would look at some things about your baby.

1. what is his/her nap schedule. Are they taking a nap late in the day, so they are just not tired at bed time. You may want to slowly move the naptime back and lengthen the time between it and bedtime.

2. Try to set up a nighttime routine. Dinner, gently play, bath, get ready for bed, read a book. Try to follow it all the same way. Oh, and remember that establishing a habit takes 4-6 weeks while breaking it is along the lines of one week of not doing it.

3. You may want to put a radio or something in the room and play some gentle music. You can get some great slumbertime CD's that have gentle compelling music. (I actually have a computer in my kids room and play music along with a slide show of nature slides)

4. You should also check into what his environment is like. Is it totally dark, maybe try a nightlight. Is he lonely, try establishing a teddy bear or like for him to snuggle with.

Those are some of my ideas, I wish you luck with it. It tears me up when my son sobs.

Answer 3

Short answer - u can't. What I did (I have 3 kids aged 3,4,6) and it worked with every one of them - was put them to bed, kiss and cuddle, say goodnight, walk away, close the door. If your 2yo can open the bedroom door, that makes it soooo much more fun! Every time they come out, you repeat the process of putting them in bed, telling them it's time for sleep, walk away, close the door. Don't hover at the door waiting for them to open it again or they will think it is a game. Don't get angry at them (god knows that is hard, because u r just about ready to pull your hair out!) Eventually, and I mean eventually, they will get tired enough that they will go to sleep - they might be on the floor or near the door, but pick them up gently and put them in bed (tiptoeing all the way!) I continued doing this until there was no screaming at bedtime, one of my kids it took well over a week for them to settle down and stop opening the door and coming out, but it did happen. my other 2 only a couple of days. Remember U R the boss - u make the rules.

Answer 4

Routine, routine, routine.

If you don't already have one, start developing one right away. Children respond best when they can predict their environment.

My two year old knows that after dinner, he has some playtime and then its bath time. After his bath, we play for a little longer, then he gets a bottle, cuddles with Daddy on the couch with a book or watching cartoons and then its time for bed. His room is a safe zone for him, and he loves his bed. He may fuss for a few minutes, and then play and chatter to himself, but he will always put himself to sleep without help.

The important thing is that your child feels safe in his/her bed. The crib or toddler bed should be a safe haven where he/she knows they can sleep and rest, knowing that mummy and daddy are still around.

If he/she is screaming, don't just leave them to cry it out. This doesn't promote safe surroundings. There is obviously a part of it for attention. See if you can do it in small steps.

For the first night, place your chair next to the crib, but don't take your son/daughter out of the crib if they fuss. But be there to soothe and comfort. Each night move the chair closer and closer to the door, eventually you will be able to leave the room entirely. It will take some time and patience, but it may help. You will most likely be making trips back and forth for some time. But one night, he/she will go straight to bed, straight to sleep and you can have some time for yourself.

Not a fun problem; good luck!

Answer 5

you dont, unless you leave after they are asleep. we are dealing with the same thing with our 2 year old now too. We put her in her bed and leave the door open, but put one of those safety gates at her doorway to keep her in her room. She will stand at the gate and scream, maybe throw a few things out of her room into the hall way, but it doesnt take long before she gets back nto bed and goes to sleep. We have been doing this for one week now and its working out great. The main thing is that once you walk away you cant go back in!! Dont talk to them, dont let them see you or hear you. Its tough the first time, it broke my heart, but you have to make th commitment to follow through. If you dont it will not work the next time you try it. My daughter has already learned that she can say certain things to get us to go back to her, like that she needs a new diaper or that her tummy hurts. They are smart and will try to trick you so be careful! Dont fall for it! I do this for bedtime ad for nap time and my daughter has never fallen asleep faster! Make the commiment and stick to it...it WILL work! Good luck!!

Answer 6

She'll scream until it becomes routine not to. RIght now the routine is to scream and carry on and chase after you because you will come back to her, calm her down, and help her fall asleep. Or worse, you give in and she sleeps with you instead.

Youhave to put her in there the same time every night, after the same bed time routine, and then dont go back in. If she comes out, pick her up and put her back in bed, dont talk to her or stay in the room. Even if you have to do it four hundred times for 8 hours until dawn. Do it.

After a few days she will fall asleep quicker and quicker, until eventually she just goes to bed without any fuss.

Giving into the fussing by trying to calm her, or avoid the crying only makes it worse and sets the behavior in place. She found a way to get your attention and to make you stay with her so she doesnt have to sleep on her own.

Every kid does this, and they keep doing it until mom and dad finally stop giving in.

She wont cry for weeks on end, she wont go sleepless for days, she'll simply make hell for a few nights, and then the worst will be over. The more consistant you are, the quicker its over.

Answer 7

let him scream. sit outside the room or if its REALLY bad. stay in the room, sit near the door but dont make eye contact with him... He shouldn't be screaming when you leave the room... Do you read to him before he goes to bed? I really think that calms them down, and my kids would start to rub their eyes while i was reading, so they were too tired to scream about me leaving! if they go to bed all wound up, of course they will scream.

Answer 8

My 5 and 8 year old are in bed everynight by 8 with no problems and my 2 year old (3 in feb) still has to fall asleep next to me on the couch my husband carries him into his bed every night. (he's asleep by 9)
Neither of us see anything wrong with that, its just a different style of parenting, I have done it with all my kids it was a way for us to still get in snuggle time and bonding since I no longer breastfed them.
My oldest dont mind going to bed on time and converting them to going to bed at a time they eventually did on their own, my 5 year old watches a 30min tape from 7:30 to 8:00 and when I say Tv off lights out he listens, my 8 year old heads to bed after her homework is done (between 7:30 and 8:30)

Answer 9

Keep leaving the room and allow the child to scream until he/she quiets down.

Answer 10

My wife and daughter in law read a short story at bedtime to our grandson. There are times that he wants them to lay down beside him and that is never a problem. Some children are fearful of being in bed by themselves. Do not scare them. Bedtime can be fun. My son will generally tell a story including his son's name in it. It is always a fun time for the grandson then. Make going to bed as fun as possible. You could begin by telling then story of Creation (Genesis 1). The next story might be that of Noah and the flood (Genesis). The story of Jesus is always loved. There are a number of children's books out there that are short and fun for the children. They will appreciate them and it makes reading fun for them later, which is very important in their educational process. Have a great holiday season.
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Answer 11

You are going to have to stand firm and just know crying will not kill the child. As long as you know your child is safe and well just leave the room. The reason the child cries is being he or she knows that will keep you in the room and prevent you from leaving. Just be firm.