suicidal thoughts?

Question

I am 37 years old man, a graduate student, working full time and studying full time. I have beeb depressed for a year since I separated from my baby's mother. ( we have a beautiful 3 year old daughter). The only thing that is getting me going is my studies but I did not do to well in one class this semester and I may get kick out of the program. My world has been turned upside down. I have very few friends, and I cant talk to them because seems like their enjoy my failures. I am having constant thoughts of suicides for a while, then I try to put things in perspective... I still have my health, a decent job, good looks... still I think life is not worth it anymore. I am not sure if I need just someone to talk to. I am afraid if go out and drink I may just end all. Please advise

Answer 1

I am a 39 year old woman, a graduate student, mother of an 11 year old girl who hasn't lived with me for the past year, and I think of ending it every day. Some days are worse than others but still they are there. I am Bipolar and am on medications that are supposed to regulate my moods and alleviate my depression, but they seem to be falling a little short these days. My condition resulted in my being forced out of the Air Force in January 2005, after a 15 year career. I have tried to work, have gotten three great jobs and couldn't manage the stress.
What I am trying to tell you, is there are no easy answers when we feel this way. If you are concerned about your Masters Program (I have had to extend mine twice now) you might want to confide in someone, either the professor for the course you had problems with or a counselor, you will be amazed at the power of disclosure. I know it can be tough to get around the embarassment you may feel, but my experience has been that people can be very understanding and willing to work with you through tough times. Go to a doctor and/or a therapist. Medication may be just what you need to get your body chemistry back on track, and a therapist can give you a sounding board, be non judgemental, give you suggestions, etc.
Speaking of judgemental, do yourself a huge favor and disregard the inconsiderate morons here trying to lay a guilt trip on you about your daughter and how it would affect her if you chose to end your life. People suffering from depression lay enough guilt and shame on themselves as it is, they certainly don't need anyone else's help.
Hey all you judgemental answerers..... I know first hand, when I feel my worst and am considering ending it all, I am convinced that my daughter and everyone else would be better off without me anyway. I know now that it isn't true, but to sling all that in someone's face when they are feeling down is additional pressure they don't need. Telling someone to basically look at the bright side and to just go on because others need you is like telling a paraplegic to get up and go for a walk.
Sorry, I am off my soapbox now. I am very passionate on this issue as I am still living through it every day. If there was only one piece of wisdom I could share with you it would be: Take things one step at a time, live life one day at a time. Don't get overwhelmed by the big picture all at once, work on little pieces of it. Believe it or not, this will get better.

Hang in there, I am here if you need to talk!

Answer 2

If you are thinking about suicide, then you need to be careful. Think; do you really want to leave this world? People care about you. Your friends, few they may be, are your friends because they want to be in your company. Why do you think they enjoy your failures? Do they laugh at you? If this is so, ask them why they do this. Talk to what few friends you DO have. Try to make them understand that you are going through a hard time and that when they seem to enjoy your failures it really hurts. You must realize that you have feelings too. Try to remember all the good things. If you are afraid to drink, then find something else that will help your pain and sorrow. I'd suggest, reading a book, playing with a pet, (if you have one), watching TV, visiting a friend or family member, listening to your favorite music, wearing a rubber band and snap it gently whenever you think of suicide. Do whatever you can to stop yourself from committing suicide. If none of these things work, contact me and I will help you more. My E-mail is: [e-mail].

Answer 3

You definitely need to talk to a doctor. I think about it sometimes too but you just gotta push it aside for now. Definitely see a doctor and maybe ask if you can be put on antidepressants. I don't have a daughter or anything but it sounds like we have similarities. I've been on Wellbutrin for four days now and it hasn't done squat BUT I heard that these things may take a while for the effect to kick in. I'm patiently waiting. Good luck! :)

Answer 4

37 ey? Your daughter would have a lifetime of thinking your demise was in some way her fault, and believe me this WOULD happen. She would also learn that depression is hereditary and wait to become suicidal herself. All of her life there would be times that she would ask herself "things may have been different if my dad was here to protect me", because you weren't you couldn't. Men could abuse her because her dad isn't around to look after her. She would look for older men to date; look forever for a father figure, and never really settle. She would never have the answers to questions she could never get from her mother, and blame you both for wrecking her life. So when you are considering the very selfish act of ending it all because you didn't get help sooner, bear this in mind. A Graduate student ..where are your brains??????

Answer 5

I think that you may need to find more people to hang out with and talk to.... I also think that while you have good things in your life they may not be fulfilling enough for you.... you need to experiment(not in that way ;) unless you want to ;) )and find things that you really enjoy to do... join groups clubs to research.... through that it is always easier because if you find (for example) you like photography (or an art or workshop??) and you really enjoy it you would want to share that with anyone you know, ppl in your class or group, or it will encourage you to find someone that enjoys it as well... I know some people will be ******* and say that you are just bit**ing but they just don't get it, that sometimes you need more or realistically thats not what your mind or soul is looking for....

Answer 6

First, I am sorry you are feeing so badly. Next I strongly urge you to RUN to the nearest crisis center. You say you are in school there should be a support program there. This is a difficult time of year for all of us, but for those of us who suffer from depression it often feels deeper. You say you have a beautiful daughter, its extremely important for you to consider her feelings as well long term loss is also devastating. Please seek a counselor. There are some very helpful antidepressants that could assist you through a difficult time. They are also used for short term as well as long term depression. Please read this and call a helpline.If you need help, please dial 1-800-273-TALK (8255).

Answer 7

I take medication for clinical depression - it's the best think I ever did. Go to your doctor - talk to him. You are going through a very rough time. Call your doctor RIGHT NOW. I went through a divorce also; be strong your daughter needs you. Baby steps - one day at a time. Life will get better - I promise. I have been through it all - e-mail me - BostonGibbs73@Yahoo. Anytime.

Answer 8

do yourself a favor and call the suicide hotline and talk to one of those people. You will feel better. Also, start doing things that you enjoy. Get in touch with the inner child, stop off and get some ice cream, pet a dog, see a movie, but must important, deal with what you need to deal with and then move on.

Answer 9

I too have had suicidal thoughts from time to time in my life. My son who is only 16 has them too. Both of us say we would never really act on it but recently I found out something. Many people who have suicidal thoughts start having them long before they take any action.

You see, any action begins with a thought. If you go to college, it began with the thought of going to college. If you get married, it began with the thought of getting married. If you become a serial killer, it began with the thought of killing. You get my drift.

Now, as you can see, we all have "good" thoughts and "bad" thoughts. First they go to your brain (ie the thought center) then we have to decide whether we "accept" or "reject" that thought. Doesn't matter if it is good or bad we still must make some sort of decision here. Now, if we decide to allow a decision to linger, it will go to our heart. It becomes part of us so to speak. This is when "bad" thoughts become dangerous. Because it has gained power in us. It is less controllable here than when it was just in our mind. We start feeling "compelled" to act on it. Again, we must make a decision eventually or the thought will make it for us.

I have had good times in my life as well as not so good times in my life. One thing is constant is ME. I have learned that I have more control over situations than I ever gave myself credit for. Sure, I have been through divorce, I was molested as a very young child and even raped at age 12, I have had rocky relationships with my children through the teen years, I have had to file bankruptcy once. Not great things have happened in my life. But you know what, there were things I could have prevented if I had only known that making different choices on how I "felt" and processed all that had come my way.

Each and every one of us has our sad stories and ghosts in our closets. I am no different and neither are you. But when we feel alone we tend to give in and yes, even feel sorry for ourselves. (Only speaking as honestly as I can.) But I have realized (probably through the fear of my own sons' suicidal thoughts) that I have to start dealing with this. Sadly, I am only just getting help because of the fear of my sons' future.

My children are the greatest blessing God has given me. To take myself away from them would be tragically wrong. I know that now and know how close I could have come to denying them my relationship (good and bad). I love them and know they love me even during the rocky roads we've had.

My advice, seek counseling fast. Your friends and family are not equipped to help you, trust me. I have 9 brothers and 4 sisters and not one of them can relate to me.

Hope this helps, God bless to you and your daughter...

Answer 10

You too smart for that, if you end your life you WILL burn in hell. I don't know how much of a Christian you are but you need to pray. Most importantly you need to be there for your daughter, the Lord blessed you with one when there is so many people that want to have children and can. You need to count your blessings. If you need to chat sometimes remember Jesus is there just call his name. You can also e-mail [e-mail], that's my e-mail.