my dads cheating and is leaving us after christmas he wants me to meet jane his new girlfriend and live with them but im upset angry emotional as me and dad had a heart to h=eart bout boyfriends and cheatin wat would happened explained not everyone is perfect they will cheat now after he said that hes contradicting himself as he he is doin it
2006-12-15 00:51:37 · 27 answers · asked by blue_lead_sky 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
hi this is something that i would like to chat with you about, i have been in a situation like this i am married i have been married for 12 years and the first three years were hard for me my husband had cheated and it hurt me very so i just had our first baby a boy and the problem was he wanted to be married and he just had to go out one more time. things worked out for us but for you baby i know that pain very well sometimes people try to make things happen and they end up making themselves miserable and they have to be happy maybe things between your mom and dad just couldnt be fixed and rather than they make each other sad and cause pain on you your dad had to do what he had to do and make him happy you dont have to like it but later on it is not your fault that this happen but give your dad a chance and your mom will move on and find someone for her and for you life and relationships can be a ***** and it is hard and not fare but relationships are about love and hate and hurt if you get into a relationship be about that person if they dont make you happy dont cheat but talk about the problem to see if it can be saved and if not dont cheat leave openingly ok i hope that you make it i know that you can i have faith in you be strong you are a woman keep your head up and you'll be fine ok take care
2006-12-15 01:04:43 · answer #1 · answered by YOLANDA D 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have definitely found a relationship of affection of your father's, but not necessarily of cheating. The exchange could have been with the women he previously had the affair with, perhaps they have kept in contact. The reson i think this is because the phrase 'I will always find a place in my heart for you' is the sort of thing that people say AFTER a relationship has finished. They dont say that while the relationship is active. The 11th may be a work meeting, party with freinds etc ie not 1--to-1 but in a group. Or iit may be between them as friends. Given your mother's unstable mental health, I think I would leave well alone. You dont knor for sure about anything and its best left that way. If you tell her, as you say it could trigger another breakdown. Llife is complicated and relationships are not black and white. Bi-polar people are challenging to live with maybe this was the way your father has been able to cope. I think you should take a lesson well learned from snooping into other people's private communications and just let go of it. At the end of the day, its your parents' relationship. Its not up to their child to monitor and regulate it. A confrontation and divorce may not be in your or your mother's long term interests, as someone else has pointed out.
2016-05-24 19:46:17 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your mum is the innocent party in all this so she will need the support when your dad leaves.
Im not going to say your dad is a bad person because sadly these things do happen its only a shame that they do. Someone is always hurt. I suggest you stay with your mum at least for a while to give her the love and support she will very much need. You dont want your mum to know you have been aware of Jane, it will only hurt her
2006-12-15 00:59:52 · answer #3 · answered by jenna p 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is a hard place to be right now, as we don't know your mum or your dad we can't really comment but at least you know your dad loves you and cares for you
If two people love each other sometimes the risk seems worth it but he shouldn't have cheated he should have ended his marriage (He wasn't happy if he was he wouldn't have cheated)
It will be hard and it may be a very emotional time for your mum but if you feel you would be happier with your dad you have to do what is right for you but be a good supporter for your mum if she needs you
I wish you well and hope that soon you will be settled with whatever you decide to do
2006-12-15 01:34:03 · answer #4 · answered by Peachy Girl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know it's hard to deal with. You will have hard feelings against your dad forever for doing this. You will think," You try to teach me right from wrong when you don't know it for yourself?" There's a right and wrong way to do eveything and cheating is the WRONG way. But...sometimes people make mistakes and have to live with them. I'm sure your dad is sorry for what he did to the family. ( If not, what goes aroung comes around and he will be) but, maybe Jane makes him happy and you always want the people that you love to be happy. So, give Jane and your dad a chance and maybe you will like her. Just remain neutral don't take sides betewwn your parents. They need to work things out and their probelms aren't yours to deal with. It's really hard, trust me I know, my dad did the SAME thing. But let them work it out and you just be at least civil with everyone! If you need to talk to a pshycologist or someone like that tell your parents. They should be willing to help you through this as much as they can. Good Luck!!!!! God Bless!
2006-12-15 01:02:50 · answer #5 · answered by miss allison 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am so sorry this is happening in your life, esp. at Christmas time. However, right or wrong, you love both your parents. That is the bottom line, and of course they love you. I don't know how old you are, but you decide where you need to be. You pray about it and the answer will come. I know it seems selfish, but you have to think about You right now. Be there for both of them, but make sure you are OK too.
2006-12-15 01:15:40 · answer #6 · answered by Kristine M 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why does he want you to move in with him? Surely moving away from your home, will not only damage you even more but will drive a wedge between you and your Mum.
It sounds like he's trying to take you away from your Mum and punish her by using you as an emotional tool. Stay with your Mum, she probably feels lonely enough as it is at the moment. If you move out, she'll think that you're taking sides with your Dad.
2006-12-15 00:56:57 · answer #7 · answered by Yasmin H 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In your dad's eyes it's ok for your him to cheat on your mom, but your boyfriends can't cheat on you. It is very sad that he has taught you this in life, he has more than likely destroyed the trust you will have in every relationship. I think you need family counseling. You should not have to meet his girlfriend and if you don't want to have a relationship with your dad for awhile, you shouldn't have to-he should accept this. Sorry.
2006-12-15 00:55:42 · answer #8 · answered by Jennifer Lu22 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your dad is human and so he messed up. You might be able to forgive him for that in time. If it is really upsetting you ask if you can talk to someone like a psychologist or social worker who can help you work through what you're feeling. It's natural for you to be angry at him for breaking up your family. I don't think it is reasonable for him to force you to meet his new woman and live with them if you don't want to. If tries to force you live with him you should have your mom talk to a lawyer about stopping that from happening.
2006-12-15 01:00:19 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Im sure if you talked to him he will understand that you are angry cos he seems like a good dad.
He has fallen in love with someone else - its not a crime but yes its not nice to have done that to your mum.
Tell him you think its too soon to meet his new girlfriend and if he gives you time it will work out.
Speak to your dad though, if you dont tell him how you feel he wont understand.
2006-12-15 00:57:53 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋