i hate my life. what should i do to change it?

Question

right now i can't stand life. i don't know what to do. i lost all my friends and my one friend won't talk to me anymore. i was on antidepressants for a while when i was 11, and i've been on it for 4 years and i just got off it a few months ago. i feel like it really drained me down and put me where i am now. i think it's because i didn't need the medicine so it did the opposite to me. i'm a very sensitive person so i can take the smallest things seriously. it changed me so much and it made me the laugh of my school. i did bad things because i didn't care and that's how i lost respect from everyone. i was bullied and teased for so many years since i was 11 that it really made me have low self esteem, and it's not fair because that's not me at all. i can't even go to my mall for the stuff i did. i couldn't even look at someone in the face or else i'd shake. people thought something was wrong with me. what should i do? i'm on the edge of really losing it. i don't wanna kill myself. help?

Answer 1

Im so very sorry that you feel this way. No one should feel this way about themselves especially at such a young age. I'm guessing that you're 15... well im 16 and yes of course being a teen may be hard but its the way you accept things. Don't worry about not having any friends. I love having people around me but my father always tells me that if I dont have people around me it's fine because there is a difference between being alone and being lonely. Just be alone for a while... learn some new things about yourself. Adults learn new things about themselves everyday. Friends will come and go... but you will always have you.. and family. Speaking of family... they are here for a reason. Even if your family is not the best family in the world... there is someone that you can trust and who you can talk to. Also, when I'm feeling kinda bad about something, the first thing that I do is pray. I don't know how religious you are, but God has helped me get through A LOT... A LOT of stuff. You wouldn't believe. I'm going through stuff right now... but I have faith the whole way and that may be the strongest... no it is the strongest thing that is keeping my life together. Just have faith that everything will be ok. Also, SMILE... LAUGH! :) It truly warms not only your heart but others around you and that alone will make them want to get to know you better. Those who bullied and teased you... don't even trip about them... you weren't meant to be their friend... obviously... and just show them. Be successful in life... make them regret EVERYTHING they ever did and said to you. When my "friends" get mad at me because I do good in school and I don't act like them I just think that it's all gonna be ok... they were never really friends. Friends don't put you down.. they lift you up and encourage you... tell you that things are gonna get better... that this is only a learning experience. Look... dont let the devil bring you down. You can do ABSOLUTELY ANYTHING you want to do in life. Everything is gonna be ok... trust me. Listen to this CD that helps me a lot when I'm feeling bad... and it's quite entertaining as well... the artist is KIRK FRANKLIN and the name of the album is HERO... my favorites on the CD are called IMAGINE ME and BETTER. I strongly advise you listen to it. You'll probably cry like I did... but hey... If you gotta let it out to feel better afterward... then do so. Lastly, if you ever need... EVER need anything at all... I am here... contact me through email or something. I really dont want you to do anything that you will regret and will ultimately hurt others more than yourself. Please, please, don't do anything to hurt yourself. Ive been there... not worth it. You can get better... I know you can. Contact me any time. I'll be praying for you...

Answer 2

I regret to read that you have been take antidepressant since the age of eleven. You see this medicine is NOT harmless at all. It can give you illness that you never should have if you have not eaten this rubbish. White pills can't help you with all the normal things in life, just make it worse. You have to make up your mind and decide what you want to do with your life. If you want to study, do so. If you do not want to study and be something, get a work which you like to do, but remember if you go on study you will have more jobs to choose between. Easy well payed jobs and as old you can retire with a good health taking care of grandchildren er cetera instead of sitting in a wheelchair destroyed to body and mind. Your life isn't so bad that you have to fill it up with white pills - do something about it. Something you like to do. Forget about old friends there will be new one during your lifetime. I wish you all the best and a Happy New Year!

Answer 3

Hey Hunnie

Reading your story brought back the memories from when i was young and your story is exectly the same as i mine! I lost all my friends, was bullied everyday, was the laughing stock of the school and just wanted to be someone else. I never went out and just moped around the house all day.

You will be OK through you have admitted there is a problem and that is the first step to solving it. I know you might not feel like it but you must see a professional concellor. It took me to the point of self harm before i went to see someone and its the best thing i ever did. Now my self esteem is back up, i have a great job, im engaged and have tons of friends.

Seriously hunnie just go talk to someone. If you need me hunnie then email me and i will be there if you need to talk to anyone!

Answer 4

You are going to a "hangover" period, your body is missing something - the antidepressant. Let the time go and you'll feel better. Meanwhile, try to do some exercise, it makes your body produce serotonin, which makes you feel better.
You can also try to find friends in the Internet.
If you can't stand your appearance, change something - a haircut or buy some mew clothes. Read about depression can also help. Good luck!

Answer 5

It is a good thing that you do not want to kill yourself. You have taken the first step into recovery; asking for help and acepting that you have a proplem. You are not alone in your feelings of depression. You may not be able to stand life, but try and remember any goods things that has occured in your life. Do not give up on life. Eventually your depression will evaperate. I, myself have been in a deep depression since my uncle sexually molested me at the young age of seven. I was held back in first grade, and from then on it seemed that everyone hated me. Now I am in eigth grade at fourteen and people are beginning to see me for who I am on the INSIDE, not my outer image. I'm still depressed but it is slowly getting better. I have not given up, and neither should you. Everyone faces rough storms in life you just need to have faith in yourself, others, and God. Things will get better as long as you never give up. If you have no friends, look around...is there not more people in this world that can be your friend? Show them who you are and get to know them. Most likely they will too, in return try and get to know you. As for your friend that is not talking to you, write them a note and ask them why they are not speaking to you. Ask them what you did wrong. It is possible that they are self-concious and they are afraid that since your other friends left you if they are still your friend, they will be made fun of like you are. If this is the case then that friend is not really your friend, even if they still waant to be. they care WAY too much about their image to see that you are being hurt by their selflish act. Talk to someone you can trust, who will listen. You could even possibly talk to me. Give advice to people, over the internet, or in person. Listen to other people. Watch their body language. It tells alot about a person. But most importantly, never, EVER give up on life. I promise you, it will get better. Eventually. Just hold on.

Answer 6

i went through the same thing as well when i was younger. i would cause a distraction in every class. it was for the same reason. i only had one friend. she quit school, therefore i was alone. if i could do things over i would. i did those things because of my low self esteem also. i hated life and wanted to end it. i am glad i did not, because once you fix things, that is if you decide to make things better, by focusing on the right things to do and not drown in self pitty.not saying you are drowning in self pitty. i did though, and went to a therapist, that is when i realized i was feeling sorrry for myself. my therapist told me not to dwell on what i did, but to make things different, by doing things different. another word of advice is appologizing to the ones you hurt and forgiving those who hurt you. my ex killed himself, because he was the same way. he could never get things right. he only thought of himself. now he has 4 children,a mom and many others morning over him. it really hurts your loved ones when you end your own life, too there are so many things you could be doing with you life.i have a teenager who is going through the same thing. he thinks the same way, and it is hurtful to know this. i personaly think you need to speak to a therapist. i had to, and my son will be soon.

Answer 7

Don't pay attention to the idiots. I know the way you consider. I'm caught on this hell proper nowbut in poor health inform ya what we have to do. Get out of it. Try watching for a task, ya realize get a mortgage, return to tuition then finally in case you have adequate, heck! return to tuition! Spend a while with a fmily member... take pleasure! Take one step at a time regardless that. Make skow rogress closer to a bigger existence. I desire the definitely exceptional for you. I wish you uncover matters that makes you joyful.

Answer 8

call the kids' help phone, they will know who in your community can help you with these feelings. we live in a very complicated society and most of us don't know what are responsibilites are, or how we fit in. what you are feeling is perfectly normal in a very abnormal world. if you feel you have behaved badly and now feel you want to make things right, that is a good thing; a very good sign that you can overcome this time and become a good person; someone you can like and be proud of. when you learn to like and be proud of yourself, others will enjoy you too.
it is possible that you do need the medication and the reason you are having these feelings now is because you went off of them. but i have been advised a half dozen times or more to go on antidepressants and i have refused. i prefer to find ways to deal with my emotions that put me in control, rather than filling myself with chemicals few people understand. All of the medicines in all of the medicine cabinets in the world are new to humanity. Human experience, on the other hand, is as old as we are. We live in a world that is almost completely unnatural, emotionally and physically and we by and large live without regard to our spirit; to our selves. I think perhaps you need some therapy to help you to find your way. please don't allow yourself to think that death is the only way out; there is indeed a great deal of beauty and pleasure in the world and the best way to discover it is to discover yourself. we are all of us beautiful and pleasurable and some point in our lives, until it's squashed from us. but still, all of us have in us the potential to be amazing beings. you have already started looking for yourself, and your spirit, and that is why you feel so lost right now. see if you can learn how to do eastern form of meditiation (if there is a buddhist shrine in your community, contact them and see if they offer free classes, most do), that is, in my opinion, the best and first way to start to get in touch with yourself because it teaches you how to physically calm yourself, and to be aware of the physical and spiritual being at the same time
do you have any baby pictures of yourself around? keep one, love yourself and imagine yourself at the other end of your life, old, but happy content and with a lifetime of memories to sustain you and a family around to comfort you.
i tell myself the sun will come out tomorrow, i am of this Earth and i belong, and "fiddle-de-dee, because after all, tomorrow is another day" (from Gone with the Wind)
every time you see something beautiful or find something funny, enjoy that moment; grab it a feel it
every time you find something ugly or upsetting, turn from it

you will walk in the sun
God Bless

Answer 9

Sounds like you're just going through withdrawals from your meds running out. But you're only 15 too. You got a lot of life left to live. You should enjoy it! Just go to a theme park and walk around or something. That always cheers me up!

Answer 10

Here's my advise.......my daughter your age 15 ,went through the same things, it's pretty normal these days. She joined Keichu-do karate .....it has changed her life, her self- esteem and every aspect of her life has changed for the good....I don't know if this would be your cup of tea , but it was for her! Find your good........you have lots to give....this is my opinion and I am nobody!