I am currently dating a member of the military. We were together before he went in. I am getting ready to leave for basic in a few months myself. (so long as I am not pregnant) We are not guarenteed to be stationed toegether unless we get married. I have had people in the military tell me we should get married before I ship. Because everything would be easier. So I am unsure if we should get married so soon. I am ready for marriage, but I am unsure if he is. So should we get married first or wait?
2006-12-14 21:52:07 · 14 answers · asked by Mikki 1 in Politics & Government ➔ Military
Edit: We have been together for over 2yrs. We both love eachother very much.
2006-12-14 22:07:46 · update #1
Make sure of your man before getting married. Work can be replaced anytime but the marriage cannot be easily discarded. Love must be the priority over work.
2006-12-14 21:58:30 · answer #1 · answered by FRAGINAL, JTM 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Since your fiancee is unsure about getting married, I would hold off until there is a mutual feeling for a marriage. Regardless if you are in the military or not, or pregnant or not, I wouldn't base the decision on those issues alone. I am very much pro-family so both of you have to be absolutely certain that you want to spend the rest of your lives together as man and wife. If not, the consequences will be too great for you to rush into things. A lot of things will change in your life in the military. I was at sea for 3 years. Believe it or not, the biggest cheaters onboard at different ports we tied up at were married. Both of you really need to sit down with a counselor or a minister, or even family or married friends to further discuss this. As of this moment, I would say wait until you both can approach this awesome decision with a sense of serious resolution. Good luck!
2006-12-14 22:06:26 · answer #2 · answered by gone 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are certain that you intend to get married, then absolutely yes. It will make it easier for you to get stationed together, as well as getting base housing. There are also many other benefits that come with being married in the military.
However, I strongly recommend that you be 100% certain before getting married. Military marriages undergo a great deal of stress and tend to often end up in divorce if you do not have absolute trust in each other, and are able to deal with long terms of separation.
Here are a list of sites I would recommend you review for additional info. They will show you MANY benefits of military marriage, as the military and USO are excellent at providing services for each of you, especially if you intend to have children.
http://www.state.sc.us/ddsn/pubs/now/military.htm
http://www.military.com/benefits/spouse-and-family
http://www.milspouse.org/Benefits/SuppServ/Family/
2006-12-14 22:05:25 · answer #3 · answered by Gregory K 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Speaking from experience, I know that it definately puts an extreme strain on your relationship. I got married about 4 mos before i shipped. It was about a year before i finally got out of training and to my permanent duty station where we could be together again. Just 2 mos. after that, I find myself separated again. deployed in Iraq. So long story short, marriage just before enlisting is tough and not for the feint of heart but true love can withstand.
2006-12-14 22:45:52 · answer #4 · answered by Stephen N 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, my opinion is as follows: If I were you, I'd wait. Consider it a true test of your relationship; if it survives that much strain, then it could survive ANYTHING. If you both know there's no one else out there for you during that time, then you'll have absolutely no doubt. Plus, following the end of your tour, you'll be ready to settle down and start a family.
THAT said, if you truly think he's the one, then your choice should be clear.
Good luck, congratulations if you go through with it, and go make your country proud!
2006-12-14 22:28:19 · answer #5 · answered by Owen 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Assuming your about 18-22 yrs old, why get married so young, if you are in an opportunity to explore the world???
But anyway, the pay grade at entry level is pretty bad. Ive seen many gals having to get welfare because of poor base allowance. Remember the military is getting away from really taking care of you and gong more corporate. Tir-Care is a good company but I've also seen them not pay for pregnancy's so ive heard. Something to think about??
2006-12-14 22:13:56 · answer #6 · answered by fire 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Not being able to live normally like husband and wife can wreck havoc on a marriage. Only you can decide what is best for you. Think carefully before you do anything rash.
2006-12-15 03:28:11 · answer #7 · answered by WC 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Never bet married before you are sure.
That said,, I just went through this with my grandson, and there is more to it than just being stationed at the same place. So yes, if you are sure, there are benefits to at least getting married before graduating from basic/tech school.
2006-12-15 01:22:30 · answer #8 · answered by tom l 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Probably not a good idea,... more often than not,. things don't work out,...
the divorce rate in the military is even higher than that of the civilian world.
If your questioning it now,.. you'll be regretting it later,...
besides,.. this is what engagements are for,... tst the waters,. and make sure its good to go,...
the additional benifits aren't worth the potential nightmarish headaches if it doesn't work out.
if you do go forth with this,.... best of luck
2006-12-14 22:01:23 · answer #9 · answered by Z 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO. NO. NO. NO. NO. Let me just say, I have only met ONE dual military couple in my entire military career that wasn't divorced and had not cheated on one another. Sorry to be a downer, but it doesn't work out.
2006-12-14 22:04:55 · answer #10 · answered by Amous 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋