we have been together for 2 years and I love her very much..I just recently got back from Iraq and while I was gone she cheated on me numerous times..but I cheated also..I dont know what 2 do..I love her very much and she says it bothers her that we dont have sex
2006-12-14 21:08:21 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I'm probably old fashioned but sex is for after marriage. if she can't hold herself for you until you do get married then she doesn't really take the relationship seriously and she is not prepared to wait. have a long serious chat with her and sort things out that bother you both.
2006-12-14 21:17:18 · answer #1 · answered by viciousmishious 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you love her you must be totally honest with her and first of all yourself. Forgiveness is something we all want but arent always very willing to give. That's because we are more selfish than we care to admit. If you have done the same thing you feel is the reason you don't want to be with her then that makes you unfair.
But if there is another reason that you haven't allowed to surface because 'cheating' is enough of a reason then I suggest that you recongize that it is not. It may be that absence has not made your heart grow fonder. It appears as though you really and simply want another girlfriend or (judging by your own cheating) don't want to be monogamus to anyone anymore. Hey, it happens! It would be more humane for you to let her go and not hurt her any longer due to the fact that rejection is an act of abuse. You say you love her so prove it! Could it be that you have a fear of change and not having her around for whatever reason is something you're not ready to endure? If you're not happy then start pursuing it without hurting her in the meantime. I remember that the military used to stress the word "honor", dude.
2006-12-14 21:27:45 · answer #2 · answered by MeHurdu 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would break it off and just see how it goes. Maybe try and keep her on the side if possible, but you both have already cheated so the trust factor is all but gone. If you're not feeling attracted to her then that's just the start. You don't need to be in it if there is no attraction. Get out while you can.
2006-12-14 21:12:31 · answer #3 · answered by Clyde 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Find a gentle path through this. Iraq was very tough. You won't feel 100% like anything for a while. If you love her try to work out why you don't feel like sex. If you are in the Armed Forces they have councillors grab her and go to one. Don't underestimate how much it can solve.
2006-12-14 21:26:00 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You both love each other and you both cheat on each other and you are not willing to have sex with her. I would say something is definitely wrong there. I would also argue that you are not being honest when you say that you love her. You certainly care for her and like her, but love her. If you loved her than you would not cheat on her. So, its time for you both to talk and think about moving on! Good luck!@
2006-12-14 21:18:38 · answer #5 · answered by immune01 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She has tasted sex when you were away, and you too have, both with other partners. It isnt right for you two to resume your earlier relationship now. Both should look for other friends. Forget each other, but be careful herafter not to treat love casually. The real test of love is when you are far away from your beloved.
2006-12-14 21:20:00 · answer #6 · answered by greenhorn 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know from experience that you should not stay in that type of a relationship.You will grow to really resent each other. I ended up with health problems due to the stress of living that way. Even tho its hard to do, you should walk away from this relationship.
2006-12-14 21:16:44 · answer #7 · answered by spuds_suds 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well it sounds like you dont love each other enough and so maybe you to should see other people.
2006-12-14 21:13:37 · answer #8 · answered by Luke B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should forgive each othr and try to get involed in other activities together like community service.Try to work things out
2006-12-14 21:33:50 · answer #9 · answered by cynnie 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
To quote Roy Orbison:It's over,it's over IT'S O-OVER!!! Wake up dude!!! Look at the wall, the writing is there for you to read .
2006-12-14 21:15:02 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋