I have 2 friends, who are in a serious relationship. They live together with the guy's parents. They have been together for 4 years. The guy use to be involved with drugs, but has now fully recovered and have been clean for 3 years. The couple fight alot, about money and the past. The girl is very childish and likes to bring up things from the past and throw it in his face. She is convinced she 'saved' him from drugs and it is because of her that he has a successful job,etc. The thing is she just spends and flrts and does whatever she wants, but when he wants to spend some money on beers to have some fun with his friends (it's good clean fun, no funny business) or speaks to a girl she gets upset and ruins the whole evening for us. He is thinking of leaving her, but the problem is he doesn't want to hurt her and he is afraid he will be alone. She has broken down his self esteem so much, that he thinks he is stupid and worthless. What advice can I give him? Anyone been in this situation?
2006-12-14 20:50:46 · 11 answers · asked by Jade22 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
The problem is she is forcing him into marriage and he doesn't think they should get married yet. She has turned his family against him, because everytime they fight she makes herself out to be the victim and she makes him out to be the cruel drug addict. I feel really sorry for him and I want to help
2006-12-14 21:14:02 · update #1
I kind of have the same issue with my best freind....the only thing that i can tell you is be there for him.If he really loves this girl nothing you say is going to make your friend leave her. All you can do is give your advice and listen. BUT you do need to tell him that shes only bringing him down and expecially with everything going good for him now he doesnt deserve all that drama....
2006-12-14 21:03:02 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good luck with this one. All you can do is tell him to make up his mind and then stick with it. I know it's hard but he needs to realize that there is more out there than this one relationship. The complicated part may be that they both live with his folks, that's no bueno. So basically it's going to start a shiit storm with the whole family. I would tell him he needs to way his options, and go with the best one. It's all about the Pro's and Con's.
When he does make the decision though, he needs to stick with it. It is one of the hardest things to do.
Good luck...
2006-12-14 21:08:36 · answer #2 · answered by Clyde 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As a friend, your concern is understandable. However, you can take your "do-gooder" role beyond a point. It's up to the guy to take up with this girl and settle the issue. Whatever you do, would look like an interference. She may even brand you as a "friend-snatcher" if you get involved too much.
2006-12-14 21:03:04 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be a friend and let him fight his fight...
If you keep on backing him up, he'll never learn to fight for what is his right, his peace of mind and worry...
Tell him that if he doesnt buck up soon he'll loose the rest of his life in a miserable and wastful way...say, you dont want to see him like that...
Let him go on his own flow... let him push himself... with low self esteem...it just needs a boost...
Promise you'll be there to help him, but its really he who has to make the right decision...
2006-12-14 20:56:45 · answer #4 · answered by rhea 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dump her, his friends I'm sure will be happy to pick up the slack!! That’s if they haven’t already....see wives don’t get that way until they cross that line and seen the other side of ****. Cant blame her, just, Dump her, he will feel better being the one to make the first step to do it, in the long run.
2006-12-14 21:00:47 · answer #5 · answered by holdonto_mr_brightside 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He should ditch her, then he will see, it isn't that hard to meet girls. If he was aloud to go out he would already know this. His friends and him going to the bars, shows he is a likable guy. I find it is always easier to talk to women when I am with my friends. They see you have a tight click and want to be involved with it.
2006-12-14 20:58:11 · answer #6 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like they need to discuss their relationship. They need to realize and discover why they are together, and if they want to stay together in the future as well. Why waste time on a realtionship that is not developing!
2006-12-14 20:55:40 · answer #7 · answered by INC0GNIT0 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just tell him to break up with that girl! He's already thinking about it, he's already halfway there!
Afraid to hurt HER feelings? SHE'S hurt HIS more than enough! Then when it's all over help him and be a good friend... good luck and my best wishes to you and him.
2006-12-14 20:59:05 · answer #8 · answered by Vertigo addict 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he shudnt be scared of hurting her if shes acting like that...
if hed rather be with someone who acts like that then be alone
then theres a problem he can find better
2006-12-15 00:29:23 · answer #9 · answered by Lindsey 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
perfect
2006-12-14 20:53:03 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋