At our wits end with grandma!!!?

Question

Help. My 94 yr old grandma is out of control about her clothes. She moves them constantly. Actually she makes a mess of them and then expects anyone who will to put them up. This is done while awake literally. We have taken her to the doctor and all different kinds of meds have been tried (and some still on) but none seem to change that particular behavior. We even stored some clothes in a container and put them in the garage. She had a outright anxiety attack looking for them. Personally I have tried to tell my worn out mom to consider a nursing facility. She wont hear of it. Grandma is indepentent with adl's. She does not sleep at night and hardly at all in the day time. My cousin whom gran raised came to take her for a month to her house, brought her back in a week. I dont know what to do, can't see the question i started asking either. Oh. ANYONE KNOW ANY REDIRECTING METHODS WITHOUT CAUSING HER TO GET ANGRYAND WANTING TO FIGHT AND GET REALLY MAD

My grandmother lives with my mom even though i am there ALOT. ( my daughter and I sleep over on the weekends) My mom is totally against the nursing home but the dementia is not ever going to reverse , My mom is totally worn out and on the verge of a nervous breakdown. personally i couldn't do it as much as she does because you cant imagine what i mean by her obsession with the clothes. We can never find what we need (underear, socks) because she moves them around constantly. The other day she had a pile on the floor so high that she could not go into her room. Then she starts to say that she didn't do it or that she doesn't need our help.

Answer 1

Sounds like a very frustrating situation. You stated that you've seen a doctor and various medications have been used to no avail. I would recommend speaking with your grandmother's physician one more time to ensure that he or she knows exactly what your home life is like and to ask pointed questions about what can be done to help your grandmother. Also, skilled nursing facilities, or nursing homes, might not even be an option as your grandmother doesn't need help with ADLs and may not have enough of a medical need to be in a facility.
But I think your idea of redirecting might work. A geriatric care manager also called GCM (little know but important field of work) is probably just the person to help you. A GCM can come in and assess how to best help your grandma and give you useful and hands-on information; most are licensed social workers and as such have a background in helping people manage their lives but also in solving problems. A GCM could also give you some ideas for activities for your grandmother so that your mother can have some respite.
At Gilbert Guide we review long-term care facilities and services; we list reputable GCMs in certain areas, but we also have a checklist of standards and criteria to consider when choosing one which you may find helpful.

Good luck,
Gilbert Guide

Answer 2

She's 94 man! let this woman sleep in a pile of her clothes if she wants! Just remember she will come back and haunt your mean *** if you don't!

Answer 3

i can see how that would bother you. it sounds like the only one taking care of grandma is you. your cousin should have kept her for the entire month like she said she was going to. bless you for your patiance ive had to deal with it. tell your family if they dont start helping out she will go into a nursing home. if your the one taking care of her it is your decision. they will be better able to handle her.

Answer 4

Live with it first...

Your grandma is old. Make her happy while you can.

Give her what she wants. Let her move her clothes... Pick it up when she asks you too... Or talk to her and give her her own space that she can mess up.