I have found out some things about her past that I do not agree with. If I would have known prior to me asking her out I would have never done it. They are things I am totally against and would never want in a wife/gf. Its kind of late now though, she loves me, I love her back, and we get along very well. But these things she has done in the past, I detest, and everytime I think about them I wanna puke, punch a hole in the wall, and i LITERALLY get chills.
Please help, I am very down.
2006-12-14 19:33:12 · 29 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Oh trust me guys, she regrets it. I have changed her life totally around like you have no idea for the good, and she DOES regret it, she says that even if we break up she would NEVER in her life go back to doing it again.
THE ONE THING THAT GOT ME THE MOST WAS THAT SHE WAS TAKING ADVANTAGE OF BY SOME GUY AND GAVE HIM HEAD WHILE SHE WAS INTOXICATED AND THERE WAS ANOTHER GUY IN THE ROOM TOO AND SHE WAS TOPLESS. I AM SCARED ABOUT THIS. AND FEEL REALLY DOWN :(
2006-12-14 19:36:55 · update #1
By the way we have talked about it, and she loves me and says sorry for everything and I totally accept EVERYTHING, but its kind of wierd for me because I am a goodie goodie and I would NEVER picture myself with a person like this...
2006-12-14 19:39:17 · update #2
What's she like now? Who cares about the past? If it all happened before you met her, then you should be OK with it.
I don't think it's a big deal at all. What's done in the past is the past. As long as she doesn't do it in the future, you're OK. If you love her, it shouldn't matter.
2006-12-14 19:36:35 · answer #1 · answered by Sax M 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I don't think you have to make a decision right now on whether or not to break up with her. I'd say, take a week or two away from her to think on it and talk to a couple people you trust. Sleep on it and give yourself time to think clearly especially if this is something you've just found out.
If, let's say after Christmas, it still bothers you a great deal, talk to her again, and then make your decision. I'm sorry, but I think there's probably only two ways to go on this, either leave the past in the past or let her go. Whatever you do, don't hold on to resentment. It make bad things worse.
Take care and hope it works out whatever you decide.
2006-12-15 03:58:33 · answer #2 · answered by roamer 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i believe that u r a very nice guy since u r asking this kinda question...u r a royal bf...erm...well, if u really cant get along with that, my sugesstion is dun drag her and urself any longer, it wil only bring u two more pain...
however, u should understand that ppl change...the question is, the thing she had done in the past she stil doing it right now? if not, ask urself, r u really that good?didnt u do something that u cant accept it urself?everybody did wrong things...and that's y everybody deserves a chance to be forgiven...bring that topic up, talk to her about how ur feeling...discussion has to be made before u actually make any decision k...
there are a few verse in Holy Bible, u should read it and u'l have more understanding bout love...1 Corinthians, Chapter 13, verse 4-8:
"Love is patient, love is kind. It is not jealous, (love) is not pompous, it is not inflated,
it is not rude, it does not seek its own interests, it is not quick-tempered, it does not brood over injury,
it does not rejoice over wrongdoing but rejoices with the truth.
It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails."
bro, may God bless u with wisdom...Jesus loves u...
2006-12-15 03:53:48 · answer #3 · answered by joseph kuah 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My own policy is that if i am truly in love with the person, her past will be her past. Unless it is still an ongoing habit or lifestyle she is not prepare to give up.
Maybe you shld speak with her first and let her know what you felt abt her past. I feel that is unfair for you to bind her to her past and not allow her a chance for a new life. You may be her only hope in this renewal.
Yet not all men can be Saint in this world. We are after all only flesh and blood. If you truly felt that you will not be able to put her past behind and it will further affect the relationship. Pls do the right thing and let her go in the most gentle way you can.
You are the Man, the responisbility is in your hand.
2006-12-15 04:12:22 · answer #4 · answered by davis c 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hopefully you won't break up. People do things sometimes for all the wrong reasons, the thing that matters is how things are from the day you meet on. It is great that you have had a positive impact on her. Now you need to find a way to look forward and never hold her past against her.
2006-12-15 03:48:08 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi. Its more difficult for you, because you love her. We shouldnt hold things that have happened in the past against anyone, but its difficult especially since you are totally against what she did. If you are going to hold it against her forever, then break up. Neither one of you guys can be in a relationship, if you going to hold it against her forever and always be thinking about it. No matter how much you love each other. However if you think that you can ´leave it in the past´ then hey, look into the future and stay with her.
2006-12-15 03:55:06 · answer #6 · answered by MC 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You had better move on then, you will have a lifetime of "the chills" how can you love someone and get "the chills" all at the same time? there seems to be some other desire at work here other than love, if you loved her then her past wouldn't matter. your ideals are a fine thing as long as you understand them but if you end up with someone that isn't ideal, you will resent them and never be proud of them, she will always be a shame to you. she is human and may not necessarily be proud of her past either but just wanted to be the one that told you rather than you find out somewhere else. we all have faults. some of us are less competent at hiding them.
2006-12-15 03:43:59 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your girlfriend had some freaky sex in her past, and you think that because you didn't, that you have the right to judge her? That doesn't sound like love to me. If you love her, you accept her and her flaws. You expect her to live up to your standards and you are judging her harshly because she doesn't, or didn't in the past. You said that she said she's sorry, what more do you want? If you know she regrets it, you need to stop being insecure and allow her to be who she is now. Her past is her past, love her as she is, or do her a favor and get lost. She doesn't deserve to be punished just because you are insecure.
2006-12-15 04:02:35 · answer #8 · answered by Kerry 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should try to work it out if you really feel like you love her. If you are just going to put yourself and her through pain though then I recommend breaking up. At least try to talk to her about how you feel about what she has done and maybe that will make you feel better about the situation. Also, remember that she did those things in the past and that is not who she is today. Good luck.
2006-12-15 03:36:34 · answer #9 · answered by xocharlixo 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
if it was in the past, and she regrets doing it, and she will not do it again, then i say you should forget about it. what'd happened happened, you can't change it, so you will just have to deal with it.
it might take sometime to deal with it, i am not saying you should agree with what she did, but since you can't change it, you will just have to look pass it, and because you both love each other, you will find a way to work things out.
just give it some time hun, it will be ok.
2006-12-15 03:40:59 · answer #10 · answered by devviash 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋