I care for my disabled brother (36 years old) he has been wondering the neighborhood and peeking into windows. This one family called the police and I explained to them his situation, they understood and became good friends with him. We moved and now he has been doing it again. The police brought him home the other night. We tried to explain to him that he can't do this and he will go to JAIL! Well, he did it again! the Police called me and said it has to stop!!!! I'm at my witts end!!!! How do I make him stop?? He sneaks out. I don't want to lose him and I don't want to put him into a home. Despartly seeking advice.
2006-12-14 19:13:49 · 11 answers · asked by sugarbiscuit 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Community Service
Keep an eye on him
2006-12-14 19:16:03 · answer #1 · answered by aphro 1 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Is he mentally retarded or does he have another mental disability? How high is his level of functioning? How much supervision is he getting?
If he's retarded, it seems he's high-functioning since he walks the neighborhood. The fact that the behavior stopped when he made friends with the first family indicates that he is looking for a friend. What kind of activities is he involved in? If you live in a big city there are many different programs that he can be involved in. If you live in a more isolated area, contact local community centers, big-brother programs or agencies that provide resources for the mentally disabled. Most of the major church denominations provide services regardless of the family's religion. Catholic Charities is one organization. Check with your local colleges or high schools to see if there is a program available that will provide interaction and teach skills.
As for putting a bell on the door or using special locks... if he's allowed to be alone at home and there is an emergency, he may not get past the lock due to panic. Instead get him a medic alert type of bracelet that gives info to whoever encounters him so he can be returned home. There is a special bracelet (unknown cost) that is used for people with dementia (alzheimer's). It's a device worn on the ankle or wrist that prevents them from leaving a certain area. Look into this online.
Can he understand the seriousness of his actions? If he can comprehend the nature of what he does, perhaps he can be trained to work. It will give him the interaction he needs with other people and he'll gain skills.
Have you given serious thought as to what would happen if you are no longer around to care for him. I realize it's something no one wants to think about, but you have to if you are his only caregiver.
If I knew what state you were in, I could give you more specific information.
Hope this helps.
2006-12-14 20:30:11 · answer #2 · answered by Tellin' U Da Truth! 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Where I used to work we had a security system... to keep the girls in. If the windows and doors are alarmed and he doesn't know the code then anytime he tries to get out you'll know.
Also a token system might work. If he does not peek into windows for a whole day he can get a play money coin. And then when he has like 5 coins saved up he can trade them in for something that he really likes.
And like other people have said making sure that he has stuff that he's interested in and will keep him occupied is important. People of any age and ability get into trouble when they're bored.
Also, he might be going around looking into windows because he's lonely. Is he enrolled in a day treatment program anywhere? There he would be with other people with his abilities and he could make friends.
It's hard for me to give anymore concrete advice because it really depends a lot on what your brother's abilities are. It would make sense for him to be evaluated by a specialist. Then they can help you figure out a plan for him.
Taking care of a disabled family member can be so difficult at times. I applaud you and I wish you luck!
2006-12-14 19:45:04 · answer #3 · answered by Jen 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you might need some kinda security or something on your doors.. one with a code he cant have.. or maybe put some kinda bell on the door so it rings when its opened. the hard part it training him.. he needs to be rewarded when he stays home is doing good behaviors.. and needs things taken away from him when hes not.. also you could go to the people that leave near you and let them know whats going on and they could call you when they see him and not the police..that is if hes not harming anyone and just be curious.. but in this day and age thats not good someone could hurt him.. so i would do something soon and dont put it off another day.. i use to work with people like him for several years,, years ago and not much has changed.. if he has things he likes at home like books or tv or games and he does something like that again take them away.. but with him its like a kid so you cant take it away to long if he dont understand time.. but he will understand its taken away and he can have it back in time.. but when he does a good behavior talk to him about thats how he would earn his stuff back.. good luck..
2006-12-14 19:31:33 · answer #4 · answered by Kat 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel you......gees... not that i have an answer, but here are my thoughts,,,,,,,, He is needing attention and stimulation, he probably likes getting caught.......and people watching is fascinating... he is taking in information.... if it is a sexual thing then......i have no input.... but otherwise, maybe find a busy place for him to sit and watch people, and look for another person like him to spend time with, the ideal would be someone normal to befriend him.....maybe check out the YMCA they often have programs....
2006-12-14 19:26:19 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
fire him, there are too many human beings accessible that want a activity. have self belief me, if he became disrespectful in direction of you. What approximately diverse persons, purchasers... It looks like he could would desire to artwork out a scientific expert. yet i circulate to declare a splash prayer for the the two one between ya. God bless.
2016-10-14 23:52:17 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know you dont want to put him in a home but he will be safer there and you can visit him everyday if you want to check on him God will bless you for all you done
2006-12-15 01:38:18 · answer #7 · answered by nancy o 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
get keylocks on your windows or security screens and dead locks on the doors so he can't get out. Its alot of money but unless you keep him tied up he will keep getting out. Good luck girl sounds like you need it
2006-12-14 19:20:12 · answer #8 · answered by shellhiggs07 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
try getting him a therapist or something to talk with him about why he may be doing it. I'm sure it's just out of curiosity but him talking it out with someone may help or they may know what to do. if you can't afford it, I'm sure there are plenty of state or city provided programs to help with this.
2006-12-14 19:23:22 · answer #9 · answered by Phat Kidd 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you can't he's curious.i know exactly what you're going through.i feel for you but,love you even more for being the goodhearted person that you are.
2006-12-14 19:19:07 · answer #10 · answered by jgmafb 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋