Can I ask my boyfriend to stop being friends with his ex? His ex did things in the past to try to harm our relationship and I can’t seem to forgive it. Am I out of line to ask him to stop being friends?
2006-12-14 19:04:16 · 22 answers · asked by bladeskier1974 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Yes, you are out of line. Who he keeps as friends is none of your business.
2006-12-14 19:10:47 · answer #1 · answered by Steve 4 · 0⤊ 3⤋
Hi...yes, it is fair, and I think you should tell him she has tried to damage your relationship in the past.
I would suggest holding his feet to the fire, and giving him an ultimatum in it's either you, or her, because if you don't, she is going to be excess baggage from now on.
This will work in your favor because you and I both know she does not want him, she just does not want anyone else having him, so i think you will be safe in laying the law down to him and make it clear, and in no uncertain terms, that if she continues to be an issue, it's all over, and do it, because if you do not, you will be sharing him with ex'ey from now on.
If he cares about you, he will comply with your wishes and he is a keeper, if he doesn't, send him packing back to his ex and see how he likes that in that he will end up with nothing.
Stand your ground and see what your boyfriend is made of as this is where we sort out the men from the boys.
Just remember, there was some reason those two are no longer man and wife!
Have a very Merry Christmas, and a Happy New Year,
2006-12-14 20:09:24 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are, actually. Sitauations like this are hard to give advice on when we don't know what this girl DID do to cause problems with your relationship, or if she actually did anything at all. But regardless ... you have no place asking him or expecting him to remove his friends from his life. That's a choice he has to make.
Now, if this girl actually did do something harmful to your relationship, I have 2 points for you.
1. Did it work? Obviously not. So what do you care? You have to have enough faith in your relationship, and trust in your partner, to have a mature relationship. Then it doesn't matter what anyone else says or does, it won't affect your relationship. If something she did caused a problem, then the problem was with one of you .. you or your boyfriend. Not her. She can only act from an outside influence ... it's how you or your b/f REACT that define the problems within your relationship.
2. If she did something that ultimately caused problems in your relationship, and your b/f didn't attempt to remove that influence from the picture, then the blame is on him, not his friend. And you would need to take that up with him .. why he would continue to remain friends with someone who didn't have his happiness at heart.
Either way ... this girl, his friend .. ultimately has no part in it ... only the two of you do. Any problems that end up being in your relationship are because of the two of you only ... not enough trust, communication, etc. When you have a stable, mature relationship, then it doesn't matter what anyone else says or does, you'll brush it off without a second thought.
No, you can't tell him to get rid of his friend.
2006-12-14 19:11:39 · answer #3 · answered by Jaded 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Well, in situations like those, i think you should try to be friends with his ex.
...you're probably reading this and saying really bad words to me right about now...
I know it's not really fair since his friend tried to break you two apart, but why don't you talk to your boyfriend about whats bothering you. Try to be friends with his ex, if the ex's bitchy about it at least your boyfriend will have a better...impression of who you are and maybe see the ***** in his ex and eventually break off.
if you end up being friends with his ex, then good. see? you don't loose either way... am i making sense?
2006-12-14 19:16:34 · answer #4 · answered by Vertigo addict 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hmm I think if it's things are getting serious then your not out of line. Like going out for a couple years or talking about marriage. I finally saw that at some point I had to stop talking to my ex's before our relationship could go farther.
2006-12-14 19:08:31 · answer #5 · answered by hibdib 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
No u are tatally in line to ask him to stop being friends with his ex. Well I am telling this 4m my personal experience same thing happened to me and I went up to him and placed in front of him my fear to loose him and made it clear that he cant be friends with that b.it.ch and he agreed. You know why? Coz he loves me a lot and if your bf loves u a lot then he'll definitely agree just ask him girl and see what happens. Best Of Luck!!!!
2006-12-14 19:14:02 · answer #6 · answered by tiya_ahuja 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it is not egocentric in any respect. your loved ones needs to help you, inspite of ways plenty they like your ex. you would be able to desire to tell them the type you sense approximately him being invited to relatives events, the place you would be. tell them which you would be unable to attend purposes if he would be invited because of the fact it makes you uncomfortable. tell them he's no longer a member of the relatives, so relatives events are out for him. in addition they'd desire to stop chatting with your new boyfriend approximately how plenty they like your ex. in simple terms remind them which you recognize that they have got been given on the fringe of him given which you dated him for an prolonged time yet he's not any longer your boyfriend and you're a member of the relatives. they'd desire to pass on and supply your new chum a gamble.
2016-10-05 08:25:13 · answer #7 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ask away i am not up for demanding things but i would in that situation...your not out of line at allll ok stay strong and don't back down...it is like this if she tried to harm your relationship and he still wants her around maybe he wants to be with her...just think about what you want to say and how you want to say it...i know easier said then done but i think you will feel better just tell him how you feel ...
2006-12-14 19:11:02 · answer #8 · answered by Travis S 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is ok to ask him to keep away from her. Good morals are normally corrupted by bad company.If she has a negative effect on him tell him to keep away.You should also talk to the ex and tell her you don't like her being close with is ex/your boyfriend.
2006-12-14 19:12:05 · answer #9 · answered by cynnie 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't ask. Demand him to stop seeing her. I am a guy , but I don't believe in the just friends thing with someone you have previously slept with. That's just a bunch of B/S! As for u if he doesn't want to stop it, maybe you are better off without him. I know you didn't want to hear that. But thats my opinon and I hope u work it out.
2006-12-14 19:09:56 · answer #10 · answered by wjb 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You have every right to ask your mate to stop being friends with an ex especially if this person tried to disrupt your happiness in the past!! If your mate cant see it from your point of you than he is still dealing with her in an inappropriate but if he gladly obliges than everything should be fine if he is not willing to comprimise than leave him easier said than done but b strong and try!!
2006-12-14 19:08:45 · answer #11 · answered by yousexythangyou 3 · 1⤊ 2⤋