Help me not feel so confused!?

Question

There's this guy I'm really into and we've become really good friends in the past little while. We spend almost all our free time together and have so much fun when we hang out. We do all sorts of things from going to movies, dinner, walking to seawall, shopping etc. When we're together things are amazing. I feel sparks immensely. We just recently went to our company Christmas Party together and one of the store managers asked him if he had a gf and he looked at her kinda funny. When she explained that another girl at the party had a thing for him he explained that he was with me. This manager then said "oh so you're single then." and he replied back telling her no he wasn't single. He then spent the whole night dancing with me and even when that girl asked him to dance he declined and continued to spend his whole evening with me. I've recently gotten out of a bad 5 year long relationship and this guy is aware of this. He has also said he knows someone needs longer than two weeks to get that 5 year relationship out of their system (as it's been two weeks since we've officially split). I just finished booking a trip for this guy and I to go to Whistler together for my 22nd birthday where we will spend three days by ourselves up on the mountain enjoying the sights. Although this guys is aware that I'm attracted to him and from what it seems he's attracted to me (as he tells me i'm cute, beautiful etc) he has yet to ask me out or anything. We've never hugged, kissed etc...although we did hold hands for a brief period at our Christmas party. Now the rumors are flying at my work that we're dating etc and he isn't denying them but he's also not confirming them. He also will talk senarios with me saying things like "if we were dating" or "if we were to go out". What I'm wondering is does this sound like something will happen in the future or am I just being a wishful thinker?

Answer 1

It sounds like he is genuinely interested, but you need time to decompress from your 5 year relationship. Talk to him openly and honestly but keep it platonic for now. Even if you are done with your ex, you still have some habits to break and emotions to reconcile.

If this guy is worth it, he'll be there for you without any pressure. That's what true friends do, and the healthiest relationships grow out of true friendships. Good luck! :-)

Answer 2

...sounds like he is being cautious and careful.It is sweet that he did not rush into the physical first off! Is he a guy who wants something deeper from inside first before getting physical?
Maybe he is attracted to you,but is being careful of your heart since you were recently hurt.
He does not sound like a user.He sounds like a conscientious guy.
What kind of morals does he have?
I don't know exactly what to say, but it does sound picture perfect.I mean, it sounds like it is leading to something, but guys are funny.When they don't feel pressured, they want to go deeper.As soon as you wrangle them in for some type of commitment, they change.
You are gonna have to be careful with how much you open your heart as you test this.Don't open it more than there is commitment to back it up.And even still, these things need to be tested, which means communication.
I think if you give off the feeling that you are willing to be patient, it is OK to ask a guy, tactfully, how he is feeling.If he feels that you are not going to jump on his every word and make more of it than he is ready for, he will be less afraid.Since he is giving mixed messages you are going to have to find the right time to bring up your question.
All in all, your first responsibility is to your self.Not in a selfish way, but more so that you have to be in tune with your feelings and in control of them each step of the way until you are sure of what this is and where it is going.It is hard cause the heart wants to burst wide open and fall in love.
Keep busy in your own life and don't feel tempted to get consumed by him or anyone for that matter.
A relationship consists of two people, so it is always good to keep working on yourself.Meaning, keep yourself entertained and fulfilled with or without this guy or any guy.If you can master that, you will always have something to contribute to a relationship.
Good Luck!!

Answer 3

It seems.... this guy is very much interested in you and he IS looking for a REAL relstionship because if he wasn't, he would have already been looking to get you in the sack. Also, it's good to know that he didnt just run at the next girl looking to dance with him and he even turned the other girl down when she approached him...(that is a clear sign that he holds you in mind). Either for your reasons, or for his, this man is wanting to take things slow, because it is apparent he feels what you feel, and most likely, he has been hurt before, because he likes you, and he hasn't moved fast. This guy is very mature, and if I was you, don't stress, and let the inevitable occur. In addition, he is considerate of you and your feelings, because he wants you to become sure of him, and hopefully let go of all past relationships failed... he is looking for a fresh slate with you. For whatever reason, he is expressing wishful thinking, because he thinks about it when your not around. He is looking ahead instead of at the nearest bed. He ia leaving it up to you. Just jump in, and if the water is to cold, get out, but he wants you to prove that you are ready, and forget all past wrongs. You can email me anytime for more advice, because this is a situation that I just seem to know all to well about. Be calm, be hopeful, and look ahead, instead of behind. You got yourself something. ("

Answer 4

He is obviously waiting on you to say you are ready to start a relationship with him. He is very sincere and thoughtful for waiting rather than jumping into a relationship with you, he respects you. Like he said it doesn't take two weeks to get over someone you have been dating for 5 years. He is giving you space to decide what you want and to make sure you are ready for a relationship. I am sure things will happen for you and no you are not a wishful tinker. He is definately into you. This is so sweet!!!!

Answer 5

Just roll with it, be coy with your co-workers to keep them guessing. No point in feeding the gossip machine at work.

Let it evolve organically, don't force anything and see what happens.

Have fun in Whistler, it's a blast, been there many times. Very much $$$ though.

Answer 6

I mean sugar, if you like him and ready, you can always ask him out, you don't need to wait for him to ask you out for a date or anything. You know he is single, and if you think he likes you, you might wanna give it a shoot, you got nothing to lose, it might be fun to take the first step :)

Good luck girl

Answer 7

you're right on from the sounds of it. he's just trying to give you time to get over your break-up. i too recently got dumped after 5 years. it does take more than two weeks to get over it. just give your situation some time and you guys will be just fine. i wish you lots of happiness together

Answer 8

sounds like he is a great friend,he is being considerate to be sure he's not getting you on rebound and he is not in a hurry , another good sign . it sounds to me that he has loved you for awhile and sees his baby coming home. it sounds like you have feelings for him also . take your time and your lil trip may be the beginning of something really good. great friends make better lovers. best of luck a friend once told me happy's best....!!!

Answer 9

I think he is interested in you and likes you but being in a serious relation is something else ,I think you and him still need some more time together to find out if it can be a serious relation...

Answer 10

Ask him out!!!
Cuz maybe he just waiting for you to be a ready for a new realtionship if it with him or with an other sh** get with him if you feel him cuz you don't want to lose him!!!