I told my b/f absolutely NO sex if he drank alcohol that day. I find the smell very unattractive not to mention the idiot he turns into and the health risks. Should I hang tough and hold out or wimp out and give in? Thoughtful answers only please.
2006-12-14 16:37:08 · 21 answers · asked by bitoffriedgold 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Being 55 years of age and having had experience in the abuse of alcohol and it's consequences through years I definitely say stick with your ultimatum. For you both are starting out and you don't know what is down the road. I have been down that road and I know what is down there.
You must not only stick to your guns but also ask him to give up alcohol for at least a time or on certain occations. If he is an alcoholic then he will not give it up and you are headed for years of trouble if this continues. If this is so , then try to get him to seek help. A rehab and/or Alcoholics Annonymous. If you do this early in your relationship you will save youselves much time and trouble. If he refuses then I would consider very serious the worth of such a relationship. Does he love you or alcohol.
On the other hand if he gives up when you want him to then you will have solved your problem. Either way you will be glad you stuck to your guns. And years hence you will look back on that decision and say " I am glad I did this". Stick to your guns and good luck. You are a very sensible and mature girl/women.
2006-12-14 16:55:05 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
The answer is 'very' simple isn't it!!
If you've already told him 'no sex if he drinks that day', then you
must have meant it when you said it, so why on earth would you give in if the smell alone, repulses you.
I don't see where it's such an overwhelming request that is
unrealistic or unfair, infact, if you meant what you said and he's
certain that you did mean it, then 'stick to your guns' and NO
do not give in.
It's better that he sees from the git-go that you mean what you say, so don't be like so many others who are 'wishy-washy'
about their decisions. 'Just say NO'..
2006-12-14 16:46:03 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Has it ever occurred to you that he's doing it deliberately because hes sick of your smothering, bossy, high and mighty attitude? He wants out of this relationship and I dont blame him.
Quite frankly if someone gave me an ultimatum i.e. a threat like this I would deliberately ignore her. You are a control freak, if he lets you get your way on this you will just start picking on something else. I bet he drank before you met him but now you want to change him. Yuck.
Well done boy, just ignore her.
2006-12-14 16:46:27 · answer #3 · answered by vaivagabundo 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd stick with the ultimatum. You told him...so if he value's you at all, he'll respect something like that. Otherwise, if you give in, it'll probably just become an ongoing habit. And that would be much harder to break.
Don't enable him, put a stop to it before it starts.
2006-12-14 16:40:12 · answer #4 · answered by Lady blah blah 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In general I don't think ultimatums are a good solution, but in the case of things like alcohol... definitely stick with your ultimatum.
2006-12-14 17:06:46 · answer #5 · answered by Ryan 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No keep your word girl. Giving in won't do nothing but show him that he's allowed to run all over you. You have to put your foot down sometimes and if you don't like something then he should respect that and if he don't then that go to show you that he has no respect for you. So don't give in to nothing you don't want to do especially when you don't have to.
2006-12-14 16:42:42 · answer #6 · answered by Missy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You already know the answer to that but I'll co-sign it for you - stick to your ultimatum
2006-12-14 16:43:40 · answer #7 · answered by Lolitta 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
what health risks? Is he an alcoholic? Stick to your guns if you're serious about it, but I don't get it.
2006-12-14 16:39:27 · answer #8 · answered by a heart so big 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stand strong. Cave in with this, he'll have ultimate control over sex from here on out.
2006-12-14 16:39:14 · answer #9 · answered by cowgoesmoo31 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Absolutely stick with your ultimatum.
If you say "this is the consequence" and that consequence doesn't happen you will lose credibilty and control for next time.
Stick to your guns!!
2006-12-14 16:39:50 · answer #10 · answered by heart o' gold 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋