I'm probably being weird and stoic, but a part of me feels like I would be cheating the girl. Plus it makes for awkward first-date conversation when I have to drop the line, "Oh yeah, something you should know: I have cancer."
I'm a 20-something male with Hodgkin's Disease, a form of lymphoma.
2006-12-14 16:33:42 · 25 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
not trashy. And you don't have to bring it up on the first date.
2006-12-14 16:36:21 · answer #1 · answered by a heart so big 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i have been around cancer my whole life because my a lot of people in my family had it. if you told me that it really wouldn't make a difference, it's not like it's your fault, and it definitely wouldn't scare me away or anything like that.
if dating makes you happy while you are doing chemo, i say go for it. chemo is hard enough by itself, and if you can do something to take your mind off the cancer then do it.
my mom had a friend that got testicular cancer when he was 18. as a result, he became sterile. he only dated girls that already had kids from previous relationships because he couldn't have kids and he wanted a family. he found a woman with two kids, and they now have 4. turns out he could have kids after all. (my mom told me this when i was worried that i would never find a good guy since i am a single parent). my point is, that guy is happy now, and he would never have found that woman if he didn't get cancer. it was a blessing in disguise.
so my point is, i think you should date. and i think you should tell people you have cancer. if they can't accept it, they are never going to handle being in the relationship with you. it's part of who you are.
2006-12-15 00:40:39 · answer #2 · answered by pikachu 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, it's your choice. If you want to concentrate on your treatment and getting well rather than dating, then who could blame you?
But is that really your choice, or are you just worried about getting involved with someone and about their reaction? I mean you did ask before if it made you hotter or less hot, so you don't seem fully committed to remaining single.
Plenty of people of all ages start dating during cancer treatment; it's something that will need to be discussed at some point, but in the early stages, only if it needs to come up.
Could you get some counselling from a cancer support group or organisation, as I'm sure they would have lots of advice on coping with this issue.
2006-12-15 01:41:21 · answer #3 · answered by Girl Machine 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are just dating casually you really don't have to mention the fact that you are dealing with a disease. Why not go out and enjoy yourself it will help you cope with anxiety, and nobody would fault you for continuing to have fun. Good luck with you chemotherapy I know that this must be a scarey time for you and there is generally a good prognosis for dealing with this type of cancer. You are in my prayers and I think any girl that has the opportunity of dating a kind and courageous young man like you should feel priveledge. God bless.
2006-12-15 00:40:17 · answer #4 · answered by Deirdre O 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nooooo it is not trashy of you at all. You would probably know much more of how to treat a lady because of what you are going through, but I am very sorry to hear of your sickness. My mother had stage 4 hodgkins lymphoma and she has now been in remission over a year God willing.......Be strong and will win the fight....God Bless You
2006-12-15 00:37:03 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why would you cut yourself off from having a personal relationship? There are people out there that are interested in what kind of person you are, and not what you suffer from. There is no reason to feel bad for wanting a relationship. That is a basic human need. Go get em'.
2006-12-15 00:44:06 · answer #6 · answered by 96B233W 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you may be being a bit weird, as long as you are honest and open there is nothing wrong with still having a life. Get out there and enjoy and all the best with you chemo.
2006-12-15 00:37:13 · answer #7 · answered by Zoey E 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Cemos some nasty stuff my mom had cancer and what you need is a girl who would understand whats going on and that ur not always going in the mood to do stuff and that food meet tummy ,tummy meet tolit ,I hoped i helped out and i hope cemo goes good for you and you have a good day
2006-12-15 00:41:39 · answer #8 · answered by BEE 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No its not trashy. As awkward as it may be, you should tell her. If she has a problem with it then she's not worth dating. Friends, dates etc no matter what you're going through should be supportive, cancer, family problems, money issues etc.
Good Luck.
2006-12-15 00:38:31 · answer #9 · answered by ilovebeingamom 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No way, its not trashy. enjoy your life. And I wouldnt make that a first-date thing. I would wait and see how you connect and if you do connect, then just be open and honest with her. Good luck.
2006-12-15 00:39:46 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
no, i don't think it is trashy at all. are you a praying man? speak with whom you trust and i would think there would be an answer as to whom you should date. go ahead and do it, after all you are being yourself. you have the right to enjoy yourself. i'm proud of you. there are so many people in your situation who would crawl away and hide. i hope this helps.
2006-12-15 00:47:58 · answer #11 · answered by rubyred 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋