which guy should i chose?

Question

I am 24 years old. I am with my boyfriend for over four years now, he is my first byfriend-cause before I was not interested in boy. At the beginning I felt nothing towards him. After 2 years I started loving him but without passion, rather like a friend. He was always crazy about me, very caring, supportive, loving. Unfortunately, we quarrel a lot and I always had doubts if I should break up wit him. Once, I broke up with him, cause I met other guy, however it did not work out and I came back to my firt boyfriend. He is my best friend, he is funny, well educated, honest, nice. However, after every quarrel subconscioussly I was looking for somebody else. I aways felt that something is missing in this relationship although I am very much attached to my first boyfriend. Now I met a new guy on the Internet. We are planning to meet in January, cause then I will be back in my home country. I am feeling that he is my soul mate and I am attraced to him, and he feels the same about me. However I do not trust Internet people so I asked my cousin to check him cause she lives in the same city, and it found out that he was honest with me in all the matters I was able to check.The new guy is also great guy, but now I have got a huge proble. which one should I choose..cause I do not want to cheat on my boyfriend.
My first boyfriend makes me feel secure, I am really attached to him and I feel I love him but I am not sexually attracted to him. I never felt this sparkle towards him, altough he really tries his best. But, still we quarrel a lot and I am missing this sparkle, especially since I started feeling sth, not too much cause it is just the beginning, towards the new guy. However, I have no guarantee that it wil be better with the new guy, though I feel more attracted to him than to my first boyfriend. The new guy is also funny, we are real soul-mates. Now I do not know what should I choose, stability with the first boyfriend, and alwyas having this feeling that sth is missing, or unsecure relationship with the possibility of real sparkle. Or maybe I am fooling myself, maybe there is nothing like sparkle, only strong frendship and then love. I do not want to hurt anybody. I feel very bad, I do not know whom should I choose. I even cannot eat cause of this. I loose my weighy because I do not want to loose my firts boyfriend however at the same time I do not want to loose a real chance for passionate love with my soul-mate.
Please help me, whom should I choose, how to make a decision. I alreday have tried different techniques, answering some questions to myself, asking friends, but still I am not able to make a decision. Please help me to choose. I just want to be happy, and partially I am with my old boyfriend but still something is missing, but maybe I am this kind of person that will never feel the real sparkle, maybe I am inventing from the very beginnig that I am missing something in this relationship, please help me, i cannot stand this siuation any more.
Basia

Answer 1

Dear Basia,
You don't love your first boyfriend. You are just with him because you want a boyfriend and he wants you. Maybe he is willing to accept that but you shouldn't. At the first chance of a real relationship (one with mutual attraction), you run away. And here you are doing it again. This will not end. You will keep seeking out someone to ease the aching in your heart. It doesn't matter whether this sparkle is real or not; it is real to you. You must take a chance and follow your heart. You are too young to give up and settle for security when what you need is love.
Bethany

Answer 2

Love is a very tricky thing. Sometimes love makes us do the weirdest things..things u never thought you could do. Well, if I were in your situation, I would pick none. Its obvious that you do not know what you are looking for in a relationship. What if you chose this second guy, and u still feel that you are missing the "spark" ? Then, what? Go back to the first? I dont think that is fair. You should figure out first what you really want in a guy and in the relationship before starting one. This will save a lot heartache and pain for both you and the guy.

Answer 3

i think attraction is waht you feel over this internet guy....and you truly love your current boyfriend because you really are afraid to loose him....but you also said that your also afraid to loose this internet guy.....well think about this...ask yourself...when you will be more hurt?...if your current boyfriend leaves you?...or when this internet guy leaves you? and the reason you and your boyfriend always quarrel is because you truly love each other and they said that this strengthen the relationship...well think about things first before making any decision that you will be regretting at the end.

Answer 4

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Do what ur heart say..
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