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He has been my dad's best friend since before I was born (I'm 19) and he just found out he has cancer (not sure what kind) but how do I react? What am I supposed to do? and how do we help him through such hard times?

I'm being serious, so don't give me lame/stupid answers.

2006-12-14 16:04:23 · 9 answers · asked by ufa 3 in Health Diseases & Conditions Cancer

9 answers

Love him, stand by him, help when and where you can and pray for him. Let him know that you care and love him.

2006-12-14 16:07:37 · answer #1 · answered by curious cat 2 · 0 0

Don't react; interact. Your father's friend knows he has cancer, and may be facing months of chemotherapy and other invasive medical procedures designed to combat the cancerous cells that have invaded his body.

Face the situation "head on". Those diagnosed with cancer do not want your sympathy. Did you and your father go bowling, play cards, hunt, fish, enjoy football, baseball, basketball, golf before your father's friend had cancer?

Your, nor your father, caused the friend's cancer. Don't feel guilty. Don't avoid the friend because he has cancer. He will know.

My father and younger brother both died of cancer. My father was 82, been married to the same woman for 60 years, raised four children, and may have accepted his death; but, I avoided being with him during his last days because I was afraid. I didn't want to accept his death.

My brother, who was only 50, when he was diagnosed with cancer, fought hard; chemotherapy and other invasive treatments. He lost. He was dead at 51. I avoided visiting him, talking with him, on the pretext that I couldn't bear to see his body deteriorate; when in reality, I was uncomfortable: He wasn't. My husband visited with him often, talking football, baseball, and just talking. Even though I loved my brother, I was a coward. I was not there for him when he needed me.

2006-12-14 16:41:04 · answer #2 · answered by Baby Poots 6 · 0 0

you're nevertheless contained in the marvel of looking out appropriate to the main cancers. Your confusion and all the sentiments are completely prevalent. What you will discover maximum efficient is to get in touch with a maximum cancers help team for kin, that could be useful you take care of all of it. What faces you all is a curler coaster journey of thoughts and stresses, and you will earnings from the help of others who face or have confronted an analogous issues. I additionally advise you initiate making a diary of styles of your dad, retaining the situations previously he gets incredibly undesirable. and likewise, do no longer lose all wish. collectively as curiously undesirable on the 2d, your dad isn't ineffective yet. Chemo and radiation are nasty issues, yet they do shop lives- and which would be what happens with your dad to boot. your loved ones needs to hold close mutually ideal now, and artwork by using all the sentiments mutually as a team. What you sense is okay, prevalent and organic. unhappy, mad, and puzzled- all prevalent. Get with a help team, and consult with them and on your loved ones. it would desire to no longer treatment your dad, even though it is going to help in making issues plenty greater handy for you all.

2016-10-05 08:17:35 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0 0

It's hard to find out someone close to you has cancer. It must scare you, knowing that it could have been your dad. It is probably scary to your dad, too. Take it as a reminder that you never know when disease can strike, and to love hard and live happy.

Ask your dad's friend what you can do. There's no reason to tiptoe around it. He will probably get tired of people walking on eggshells around him. Just tell him that your family is there for him, and that you love him, and ask what you can do to help. He'll appreciate your openness.

Don't forget to be there for your dad. As hard as it is for you to deal, it's probably much harder for your dad. Give him big hugs. Often.

Good luck, sweetie.

2006-12-14 23:01:52 · answer #4 · answered by Robin 3 · 1 0

Be your self and if you can dont show pity , be as you always have , just be there a little more than before , if he needs you . This is a hard thing to deal with my mother had this and it was so hard sometimes but I was there and let her know I loved her and would help if there was anyway . Good Luck hon and prayers are there with you and your dads good friend

2006-12-14 16:13:22 · answer #5 · answered by janice a 4 · 0 0

The best thing you can do is to be there to support him. Let him know you're shocked and saddened.

I have heard that someone who has just received bad news is going to hear things like "I'm so sorry", or "God is just giving you a test", or "My father had cancer of ....", or "Everything will be alright", or "Is there anything I can do for you?" They don't want to hear that, even though that's what people will say.

Just say, "I'll be here for you."

2006-12-14 16:17:06 · answer #6 · answered by Dr. Dave 3 · 0 0

well, there isn't much you can do to help him, like to get rid of it. but it's been shown that people who WANT to live, usually survive cancer. surround him and his family with the people/things they enjoy. don't treat him like he's got something that's contagious(cuz it's not) maybe get him a DS or some sort of hand held game to fill his time, ifhe's in the hospital for long periods of time that is. talk to him like you normally would. it is alright to ask him about it, it's not like taboo or anything. don't treat him like he's dying. and mostly, love him as you always have and maybe even a bit more. he'll be ok:)

2006-12-14 16:08:23 · answer #7 · answered by Starry Eyes 5 · 1 0

you just need to give him space. let him appraoch you if he wants to talk. guys generally dont talk about the feelings. the best way if you really want him to talk about it why dont you try do do it in the car on a drive where he doesnt have to make eye contact. its really hard for guys to get upset in front of others and this is a way to prevent the eye contact.

2006-12-14 16:08:52 · answer #8 · answered by fireeyedmaiden 3 · 1 0

you could help find a cure.....................http://www.uwnews.org/article.asp?articleID=23576

2006-12-14 18:39:54 · answer #9 · answered by ihatesnowihatesnowihatesnow 1 · 0 0

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