Quick Details:
-Me(26)
-Fiance(28)
-Known each other and have been dating since highschool
-Getting married in May 2007
-Both virgins(Waiting till marriage)
-My fiance asked me to move in with him and I want to move in with him, but I think it might be to tempting...
-Should I move in with him ?
-Is it better to live together before or after marriage ?
-Is it wrong to sleep in the same bed before marriage even if we are just sleeping ?
Thanks for everyone's help :)
2006-12-14 15:58:28 · 10 answers · asked by Mary P 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Hey... unless you are superwoman and he`s superman then sleeping in the same bed - or the same room - or likely the same apartment - will lead to sex.
My wife and I were committed to celibacy before marriange, we had strong moral convictions based upon our faith, and it was darn hard even though we lived in separate apartments.
Today I counsel college students who constantly think that they can beat the odds and beat temptation. They usually fail and come to me in tears.
I`m not saying that you can`t... but I am saying that you are setting yourself up for a fall.
i don`t know anything else about you or your convictions so this is about all I can say for now.
By the way, research DOES show that living together before marriage reduces the likelihood that a marriage will last. This goes against what almost everyone thinks is true. Odd, isn`t it?
2006-12-14 16:04:53 · answer #1 · answered by ethicsprof 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i believe that if you both feel that you can compromise and know your own boundaries then yes totally go for it. i think that living together can help prepare you for marriage since you two will be living together after marriage and you need to at least have some experience. what will you do when you two get into a fight (it happens to everyone) after you have been married and cant cope with it because you both could just go off to separate houses when you were just engaged? or lets say he has a bad habit or vice versa and you didn't know about it before marriage because you two lived in separate houses? how are you going to work out a compromise? and sleeping in a bed with your fiance and not having sex is perfectly acceptable by my standards. its just sleeping after all.
2006-12-14 16:09:00 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes it will defiantly be harder to resist sex once you're living together, depends how much control you have over yourself though. May seems like such a long way to go and no doubt you'll feel tempted to show how much you care for each other. If you really want to wait till marriage to lose your vicinities then don't move in together until after the wedding.
2006-12-14 16:05:56 · answer #3 · answered by Ray 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow you have waited so long! That is incredible and it shows that you are both strong people of high caliber. I wouldn't move in.. you've already gone this long, and I think your marriage will seem more sacred to you both if you wait. Besides, God doesn't want us to actively place ourselves in the middle of temptation, and I feel like you both would be tempted. Also, since you had to ask this question, something about moving in now doesn't feel right to you, and you need to feel right about it deep down into your soul. Talk with him about it in this way and let him know how you feel, that you are unsure. Yes, definitely wait. You are both strong enough to do that... you've already proven it to yourselves. Congratulations and best wishes in your future marriage!
2006-12-14 16:04:26 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good for u that u waited, but I think that u need to live with someone before u get married that way you get to know each others quirks and annoyences before you get married. Maybe he snores really loud or he hates the way you butter you toast, little things like that can make you fight really big. and you are older and more mature then most peopl for waiting as long as you have
2006-12-14 16:07:36 · answer #5 · answered by hotmoma_37 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't move in with him. You don't have that much longer to wait, especially compared to how long you've waited already! There is no way you're going to stay a virgin until marriage if you move in beforehand, and if you've been dating that long, living with him won't teach you anything you didn't already know about him.
Patience... May isn't that far off.
2006-12-14 16:02:55 · answer #6 · answered by SLWrites 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, sleep with him. thats fine. if u wanna do the whole no sex thing, and ur this old, OBVIOUSLY ur both mature enough not to have sex. Yes, move with him. if ur both crazy enough to still be virigins, i dont think living together will change ur craziness (im a virgin too, but im almost 18) Good luck! paleevoo france' lol. and yes, sex is tempting!
2006-12-14 16:02:31 · answer #7 · answered by Donny B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should follow your beliefs, not what other people think. if it is against your religion, and that would make you feel bad, then don't do it. This is most likely a question only you can answer. If you think that the temptation is probably a bad idea, then this whole thing is probably a bad idea. Good luck, i know you will make the right choice.
2006-12-14 16:02:16 · answer #8 · answered by Shannon W 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My vote is ...if you guys have waited this long....God Bless You......then a little while longer isn't going to kill you.
2006-12-14 16:02:00 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes , i think you need something new.
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2006-12-14 20:01:05 · answer #10 · answered by dana brown 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋