how do i cope with unbearable financial stress?

Question

i don't think i can handle it anymore. i'm trying so hard to spin all the plates. i have 2 little kids all by myself. i am working so hard. i can't pay my bills i've strung along all my bills for so long and today i got my car reposessed. i get a end of year bonus, and i thought i could make good on all of my debts then. but today i got my car taken away. they said i shoudl try to refi with another bank but i have called all day and nobody will take a repo situation. i only had one car for me and my kids. i rented a car for a couple days today. fine for today, but what about monday?

i can't eat or sleep. its been a long time since i cried but ive been making up for lost time tonight! i heard about this community and so i joined tonite 2 here what other people might say. i thougt maybe somebody might have been through this kind of stress and could tell me how they did it. thank you for any ideas. tom

Answer 1

Real tough situation. Obviously any financial institution is going to think twice about offering another loan. If you can get a bank to do this though, this is probably your best bet to get rid of all the high interest credit card balances or other loans and roll them all into one. The other thing I can suggest is to turn to friends and family. Ask for assistance in borrowing a car. Maybe someone you know has a spare car you can borrow for a bit?
You have to write down your income and expenses. Do the math.
look at every item. Add up all of your monthly expenses then decide what expenses can you cut? Monthly Cable fees? DSL? Try the free trial version of AOL in the meantime or cut the cable tv all together stuff that are a luxury... until you can get to save more money and use the money you save to pay off other debt. The necessities (mortgage, phone, electric, gas etc).
Cut out the bad debt in other words, if you have several credit cards, transfer the balances on all of them to the lowest rate card. Then call the credit card company. Tell them you are having a hard time repaying and ask for a lower rate. They will rather do this than have you not pay at all.
I have provided a link to a site that deals with real people talking about debt. Maybe you can find more help there too.
I have also heard, but I maybe wrong if you go to the samaritans or salvation army for help they can help you with giving you a car or at least selling you one for real cheap. Most likely it will be an old car but at least it will get you from A to B which is all you need until you can get into a more stable financial position.
If you are worried about X-mas go to your local churches or as mentioned earlier, the salvation army, they may have gifts for children that are donated. I know our work place are doing a gift drive for charity. Don't be too proud in turning down help. That is what they are there for... helping people in need

Answer 2

There are so many issues at hand. First, very few here are experts so take what you hear from us as free advice and nothing more than opinions. The answer to "why is he doing this?" is he loves his girls and probebly feels guilty for their situation. Don't you think that even on a sub consious level he is thinking to himself that if he was still with their Mom they would have a better life. That is a very strong feeling...and don't you know he would rather do without or give to them what he has and try to figure out how to make ends meet for himself? This has to be tearing him apart. So, that is where he is coming from. Most people would die for their children if it came down to it. I am guessing that your daughter has a better life. He feels bad for his girls. The best thing I think you can do is understatnd that he feels the need to take care of the girls. Work with him together and especially let him know that you care too. It isn't the kids fault and be involved in doing what you can to help him help them. Of course there is the other saying that "charity starts at home". So I take that to mean take care of your self first. But some of the most generous and giving people are those that can least afford it. And those people will get back more than they give in the long run.

Answer 3

Tom, sorry you are having it so rough. Life is tough out there. Yes I have been through the ringer over finances. Money can do a lot of things. It is one thing people risk losing their very life over. When you are going through the trial of fire with huge financial burdens it feels like the end of the world. No end in sight seems to be the feeling. You aren't the only one. There are more folks who are doing without, who are in deficit, who are in serious debt than there are of those who have plenty. It is not fair it seems, but life goes on. I think there is someone, some financial institution that can and will help you. There is always someone willing to make a buck by lending a buck. Try to get a hold of yourself tonight and tomorrow go to the yellow pages and begin calling. Now, let me ask. Have you sought assistance from local churches, Salvation Army, etc? Please don't be too proud to ask for help from other sources. It will be a temporary fix and you will be able to help too after you get on your feet. Think of your children. They need you more than they need things. Sometimes we can get our needs met and that is enough, although we would like more. We are brain-washed into believing we should have more. But often we have enough. Speak with the creditors who repo'd the car. Someone will work with you. Just be patient and know that you are walking on the road many are traveling these days. Don't lose heart, please. I do believe better things will come your way shortly. :-)

Answer 4

You are not alone. There are many people that are going through what you are, and here it is the Christmas season and I can feel your despair. Just don't give up - - - - - for your kids' sake, get DETERMINED!

Talk to someone at your local Salvation Army. Even if they cannot help, if they have a caring volunteer there, they will at least give you some other possibilities where you can get help. Do you attend church? Can you talk with your pastor about your financial situation? If you do not attend church, and even if you are not a Christian, you might try calling some of the churches listed in your local yellow pages. Ask to talk to the pastor and then tell him how hard you are trying and ask him if he can offer advice or help. Don't be too judgmental if some of the churches seem to say "no" too quickly. At this time of year, they may be bombarded with requests for help . . . . and then there are some people who abuse the system and ask for hand-outs all the time. Believe me, they can get to where they are numb from being taken advantage of.

And maybe if you aren't too proud, you could buy a bottle of Windex and some paper towels and go to some local shops and offer to wash windows for a few dollars. Maybe you'd get the opportunity to tell the owner that you are just trying to keep your head above water and support your kids. You never know . . . . . someone out there may just offer you some hope for your situation.

Remember, God works through others to help those in need. I wish you the best!

Answer 5

I really wish I had the perfect answer for you. I know a little bit how you feel because I got myself in a terrible financial mess with credit cards. I couldn't keep up and payments were past due and I was getting calls. My husband left me. One day a creditor called about payment and she was nice and ask if something in my life changed that I couldn't pay bills anymore and she gave the name of a non-profit company that works with the creditors to reduce bills. Not home equity or anything like that. Maybe they can help you. The company is called Take Charge America and they have a toll free number 800-823-7396. Hope they can help you, good luck.

Answer 6

I am assuming that since you have an end of year bonus, you have a decent job.
The answer to coping with the unbearable financial stress is to get out of it.
First you need to figure out how much money you make.
Second, create a budget.
Third, pay off your debt.
Live on less than you make. Cut up your credit cards. I don't know the details of what is going on with you, but living on less than you make is the key. It is HARD getting to that point, especially if you are paying off credit cards.

Answer 7

Stress is the worst kind of pain. I know, I have felt it. In in last year I have really learned a lot about my self and other people and you have to focus on the good things in your life and not the negative ones. Because what you think about most is what you attract and if you think of good thoughts good things will start happening to you. Check out these websites. They both really changed my life...

Answer 8

Cut back on some expenses like cable, video games, eating out or move to a smaller place. Also prayer helps not get quick results but it makes the burden seems lighter. Good-luck.

Answer 9

I think that's correct

Answer 10

http://mentalhealth.samhsa.gov/hotlines/default.asp

Call a helpline and talk to someone