I tend to date guys then end up abusing me...I'm starting to think its something I do that makes them this way.
2006-12-14 14:59:21 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Nope, that's the type of person you feel drawn to because of a maternal instinct you have that causes you to think that you can "fix" them.
All you can do is be aware of this feeling when it crops up and fight it because you can't fix these poor saps and you'll only get caught in their abuse cycle if you stay. Worst case scenario you could end up dead, since that's one of two ways an abuse cycle ends (The abusee is removed or the abusee dies).
This doesn't make you a bad person, on the contrary, it makes you too good of a person. You need to reign in your good will a little bit ;)
2006-12-14 15:04:22 · answer #1 · answered by Takfam 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Roxanne, first don't blame yourself. If someone hurts you they are wrong. Period. I do however have a little more perspective as I grew up seeing my mother physically and emotionally abused. I thought at first that she was weak and I hated her for not fighting back but then I realized she was doing the best she knew how at the time. Not until she figured it out for herself that she didn't deserve or have to be treated like that she didn't allow herself to get into those repeating situations anymore. Please seek help and support now. Don't end up a statistic. Good Luck!
2006-12-14 23:04:41 · answer #2 · answered by Twinki 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You must not blame yourself, that is very typical of people being abused. The abuser wants to make you think it's your fault, which is so not true. No one deserves to be hit and pushed around, not even you! Try looking somewhere else for your next date.
2006-12-14 23:04:08 · answer #3 · answered by Mustang Sally 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You probably pick the "tough guy" because you think he's sexy. Try dating the nice guy who isn't into showing off how rough he is or how "Manly" he is... Just find one who is honest and likes paying attention to girls. I think your problem is common. So many girls go for the football player or the Jock and are all surprised when he begins slapping her around when things go a little bad. Good luck... there are nice guys out there.
2006-12-14 23:07:26 · answer #4 · answered by Jim V 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my gf used to date a abuser because of money. Sometimes it could be for money. Well I changed her around and I am not a wealthy guy like him but in the navy it taught me, the person's love is more stronger than money.
2006-12-14 23:03:16 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try Co-Dependence Anonymous
2006-12-14 23:03:38 · answer #6 · answered by Road 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that you know they will be this way when you first get with them. You, being a good person, feel like they will change for you or you can help them. These men have a way of sweet talking.
2006-12-14 23:01:33 · answer #7 · answered by ♥dream_angel♥ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No,but some women are just magnets for losers like that.I hope that you can overcome that because noone deserves to be treated badly.Sadly though alot of women like guys like that and its too late sometimes and they pay with their lives
2006-12-14 23:08:19 · answer #8 · answered by timpossible1 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Of course that's what they are good at. It's not you. Maybe your a NICE person and well you can't always be to nice. But the important thing is YOU DO NOT MAKE THEM THAT WAY.
2006-12-14 23:09:26 · answer #9 · answered by SecretFriend 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋