how do u deal with an interracial relationship, if your parents dont agree with it??????

Question

I LIKE WHITE BOYS, BUT IM VERY ATTRACTED TO BLACK MEN. I WANT TO BE WITH A GOOD BLACK MAN. IT'S HARD BECAUSE MY FATHER DOES NOT AGREE AT ALL, MY MOTHER DOESN'T AGREE BUT SHE SAYS SHE JUST WANTS ME TO BE HAPPY. I AM 23 YEARS OLD . I HAVE MY OWN HOME AND LAND. I LIVE BESIDE MY PARENTS THOUGH. IT REALLY SUCKS SOMETIMES. I SHOULD BE ABLE TO MAKE MY OWN DECISIONS. I LOVE MY FAMILY BUT, I HAVE TO DO WHAT IS BEST FOR ME AND I CANT HELP WHO MY HEART GOES TO. IM JUST SCARED I WILL LOOSE MY FATHER OVER THIS. I NEED SOME ADVICE....!!!!THIS IS A DIFFERENT TIME AND AGE, PEOPLE HAVE TO START REALIZING THAT!! IF YOU ARE HAPPY THAT SHOULD BE WHAT MATTERS THE MOST, NOT WHAT COLOR THEY ARE, RIGHT?

Answer 1

If color does not matter then why do you prefer black men?

Answer 2

You seem to be answering your own question in the details that you have provided: You are 23 years old (no longer a minor) and own your own home and land. As an adult, it is your right to have relationships with anyone you choose. What you cannot choose is how your father will react if your choices are offensive or unacceptable to him.

A parent is often faced with choices his or her child makes that are unacceptable, bad, or simply not what the parent would have done. It doesn't matter what age or generation, this continues to be true. What is also true is that your life begins with your choices and your decisions. If you make decisions based on other people's feelings and not your own, then you are effectively denying yourself a choice.

Yes, you may risk alienating your father. No, he doesn't have to like it. Yes, it may bother you that your father is unwilling or incapable of accepting you in a relationship with a black man, but in the end, it's his decision to react that way. Your responsibility is to your own heart.

Answer 3

I have had some exp. in this area. it's never an easy thing in a world with so many people and everyone trying to get along, The best thing is to go with your heart, nothing ever comes easy in life but don't let the world control you. Live life how you want it but respect the ones who love you and care for you. I don't want to sound like I'm going to take sides in this but love is love if your just looking only for a black man then your not giving yourself up for love. We are supposed to be the generation that knocks down the racial wall and see people for whom they are inside, once you know that and you can see that in people no matter what they look like people around you even your parents can tell, and that way they will see that and respect you more for your choices.

Answer 4

Well your father has different views from you and that is fine but his views can not interfere with your life especially something as important as loving someone. You answered your own question your happiness is the priority here and if your father wants you to be happy then he must accept your choices for the men in your life no matter what color they are you might have to be tough with your father on this issue like a tough love thing hopefully your father will make the right choice and choose to support your decisions if not you have some decisions to make like asking yourself if you are living for your father or for you and what steps and sacrifices you make for the one you love.

Answer 5

I am in a interracial relationship, and engaged i am 22 and have been with him for almost 5 years and at first my dad didnt agree with it he cussed at me told me that he didnt want anything to do with me anymore and all that. I didnt listen i said i am an adult and can choose who makes me happy. Well 2 years later he finally decided to give in and see what it was about this guy i loved so much, he sat and watched football with him and after that he realized that he was a good guy, and that we are living in a diff time. He now loves him only because he got to know him instead of judging him. So i tell you be with whom ever makes u happy regardless your dad will come around when he sees that you arent going to let this guy go just for him. Good luck sweetie!!!

Answer 6

hi, i just read your question about interratial dating while looking on this website for answers of my own. anyway, i am a 24 year old bi-racial woman. my mother is white and my father is black. they have had a happy and faithful marriage for 30 years.anyway, my point to you is that people are too judgemental on outward appearances. it is 2007 and people need to be more open minded . if your father really loves you then he will accept you and no matter whom you are dating. if that's not ok with him, then too f*cking bad. sorry to be so vulgar, but as a 23 year old woman with a mind of your own- you know i am only speaking the truth. you could die tomorrow, so you might as well be happy today.

Answer 7

My color should not matter -

Just because you and I are of two colors
They expect us to not like each other
In this world some will discriminate
And it's our relationship they will hate


23 years old and trapped by the pressure of her father. At some point you will have to stand up to your father. At some point you will have to be the one in your family to make a change. You like black men and your father hates it. Fight your fight and be happy.
At what point does your family wake up and smell the coffee.

Interracial dating is not for everyone. But if you dare to enter this world you have to be ready to fight constantly for what you believe in. You can love your dad and still have your own life. Just be ready to grow some tougher skin.

Answer 8

Well, I agree with you -- you should be able to make decisions based on happiness and maturity, not what society approves for you.

When I dealt with this same topic, my mother was the one who was so opposed to it. I knew that my relationship could, in fact, be the cause for my relationship with my parents to end, but, it was a chance I took. My mother finally came around and hopefully, your father will, too.

Let your parents get to know the man you intend to date or marry. Many times it's the unknown that causes their fear. If they get to know him as an intelligent, hard-working young man, then they won't have much to complain about.

Good luck, hon!

Answer 9

oh wow hon. u have to figure this one out on ur own. if u feel like this is the right thing to do, so do it. try talking to your father. and really think about what u want in a man and what color. But it shouldnt at all matter about color, it should be about LOVE u descide. maybe one day u will meet a african and he just might be the man of your dreams...or maybe the opposite. so just hang on. u will meet ur special guy sooner than u know it!

Answer 10

You are 23 years old. What matters when choosing a man is what is on the inside. If he is kind, sweet, caring and acts like a real man.

Tell your father you love him, you appreciate his advice but it is advice. You will take it into consideration and make your own choices.

Good luck!!! :)

Answer 11

sometimes not all things that would make us happy is right, or right to others in our immediate surroundings (family, friends, work etc.) try to know why your parents do not wan tu to engage in an inter-racila relationship, ven if we are already adults sometimes too parents know best:) but... my only prayer for u is that the person whether be he/she is another race from u, loves u too, as long as u know that u love each other, and that both of u know that he/she will be for keeps, then by all means. Peace. God Bless