My man is a pain in the rear. He is always trying to go with me everywhere, he has no friends, he doesn't want me to have any, he complains about me being on the phone, he complains when I go to school (College), he gets mad when I go some where. First of all I have no job, he complains about me getting one. He calls me all types of names when I don't do everything that he wants me to do. I am fed up. I feel like I can't breathe.Do you think that there is somethin g wrong with this man? Do you think that he is taking this control thing alittle bit over board? I am sick and I am tired.
2006-12-14 14:17:08 · 14 answers · asked by lhpretty 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
my no shrink but i suggest u seriously get out of that relationship... he is much to controlling and from the sound of things u can do so much better than that. Your a big girl and i think u can handle yourself. If you stay with this guy you wont accomplish anything you want to. Im sure u have dreams and u wont be able to pursuit them if u stay with him. He is "down" on himself and hes taking you along for the ride. Why would u even want to be with a man who is calling you names when u dont do anything wrong...the is called verbal abuse... He gets mad when you go to school(college)..come on now, whats the deal with that....obviously hes afraid that u will make something of your life...and doesnt want u to do better then he is!...your young, intelligent,im sure your very attractive and friendly...so take my advice please im begging you u need to do this okay:
1)LEAVE HIM if u havent a place to go than go to a womens shelter or something... you need to get out of there!!!
2)finish school go on a regular basis and try your hardest!!!
3)get a good paying job...and get yourself a house/ apt of your own!!!
4)somewhere inbetween all this get yourself a nice, asoon to be profession man from college who has morals and ogals inwhich he would like to llive by!
5)be happy and wave it all in his face!!!
the reason your sick and tired is because of stress all the stress he is putting on you.. your a young women and u need a life!kick his *** to the curb girl!
merry chirstmas and if ever u need to talk im here to listen my email is
daydreamin_ashley@yahoo.ca
2006-12-14 14:24:41 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Perhaps because they have less wrinkles and a tighter body than women his age? Maybe the ladies his age have already been married and divorced, they have kids, or they are bitter and negative about life? Maybe it's because some younger women love older men for their sophistication, experience, and distinguished looks, making him feel like he has an advantage to compensate for his low confidence? I'm not a guy, so I'm just guessing. If he has this arrogant complex, that would be a turn-off to me, though. And I adore older men otherwise.
2016-05-24 17:40:57 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are pros and cons in every type of relationship. Older men have their good qualities such as being wiser, more experienced, more appreciative, etc., but It sounds like this guy is feeling threatened by your youth and wants to keep you under his thumb. His complaining about your not working is all a part of that, its a way of his exerting control. I am not telling you that you should leave this man but think about what you want and what you are getting in this relationship. Balance the pros and cons in your mind and make a decision. If you decide he is worth it then you must confront him with his faultfinding, jealousy and control issues. Its not a simple decision.
2006-12-14 14:27:59 · answer #3 · answered by Silva 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think most guys are generally possessive. They got this ownership thing going.................. I know exactly what you mean!!!!
The fact that he is older, probably adds to his insecurities, he probably feels that you might meet someone your own age and you might click better with him. He does all this because he doesn't want to loose you.
If you fight it, both of you will be hurting. Constantly assure him of your love. Lovingly let him know that the tighter he holds on, the further he pushes you away.
Tell him that you actually enjoy spending time with him than with any other person but he's got to believe in you a little bit more.
Good luck
2006-12-14 14:26:04 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all being in a relationship is all about growing together as a couple. I also have dated an older guy... They really are clingy in the sense that they feel insecure. Your man is limiting you because he is unsure of himself... he is insecure... Best thing to do is move on and find someone better.. trust me because once you get into deep it is sooooo hard to let go... God Bless....
2006-12-14 14:39:55 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get used to it honey! Welcome to the Older Man - Younger Woman Dynamic. Either you are suited for it or you're not. You have to have a submissive streak a mile wide for such a relationship to succeed. To their credit, such men excel at "taking care of you" emotionally as well financially. Women who are submissive do not mind submitting to the man's wishes, and view his need for control as "it feels nice that someone cares so much about me." Its not good or bad; that's just the way it works.
2006-12-14 14:59:46 · answer #6 · answered by F 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It has nothing to do with his age--he is just a controll freak. Honey, ditch him and live it UP! You're in college! Go meet a fun, intelligent man your age, shag like rabbits, and enjoy not having to worry about him being on your back the whole time. If he is suffocating you now, he'll suffocate you later.
2006-12-14 14:20:12 · answer #7 · answered by ms dont panic 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why are you with him, and why is he with you?
It sounds to me like the idea that he calls the shots because you're younger (like you're his daughter or something) is probably the very reason why he goes for someone younger.
You're being abused. Period. Get a job, and get out of that relationship.
2006-12-14 14:20:11 · answer #8 · answered by Karen M 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Have you tried talking to him about his control issues? He may just be insecure about himself. You're completely justified in feeling fed up. I'd suggest sitting down with him and having a serious conversation with him, and if he doesn't change, leave him.
2006-12-14 14:21:22 · answer #9 · answered by Vae 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I do think there is something wrong with this relationship so you sould get out this im older and had you girlfriend and never was
this demanding,Know man should smother you like this
2006-12-14 14:23:43 · answer #10 · answered by Eric c 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋