What is the best way to console a parent who has lost a baby? Either during pregnancy or after birth.?

Answer 1

I think this is an excellent question that is going to be hard to answer. Here's what I think, I think it depends on the person who suffered the loss, because everyone grieves differently. See 2 1/2 years ago I gave birth to my youngest son, and I had a lot of complications throughout my pregnancy with him. When he was born, the doctor discovered a second sac. I was told at my 6 week check up that the pathology report showed that very early in my pregnancy I had miscarried my son's twin and the "remains" where absorbed into its sac. I was horrified and still have a difficult time discussing it with people.

Well I am pregnant again, and a very dear friend found out she was expecting too. She was going to be due 2-3 weeks after me. We were so excited to be going through this together. Then when she was to be 6 weeks along, she suffered a miscarriage (blighted ovum). Since I had suffered a loss, I figured I would give her some space. (Especially since we would have been going through alot of the changes at the same time.) Well about 3 days after her loss, she called me and wanted to know why I was avoiding her. I explained and she told me that she was already over her loss and she didn't want me to feel like I needed to stay away because of it. I was shocked and confused, because here I am still grieving a loss that occurred almost 3 years ago and she after only 3 days was able to get back to her normal routine.

So back to your question, I suggest you: 1) Judge the situation and the person's emotional state - if they are still grieving give them time, space, and support; if they are over it, give them the respect of not making a bigger deal out of it. 2) ASK them what they want from you, most people will respect you more for being straight forward, also that way you have a clear idea of how to behave. 3)Recognize your comfort level with the situation, if you are uncomfortable with it, it will show in what you do and say and that can often make matters worse.

Answer 2

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Answer 3

Hard question to answer. I lost a son to SIDS when he was 6 weeks old. And so many people were insensitive to me and I guess meaning not to be and just didn't know what to say.
However, I will tell you not what to say. Do not say, well atleast it didn't happen when the baby was older. Or everything happens for a reason.
The number one thing I thing I just really wanted when my baby died was just to have someone who would listen to me. Who would let me vent, cry on their shoulder, or just talk. That is if you are close to this person.
If they are just an aquaintance then I would send them a card with a note in it saying if they need anything do not hesitate to call.
It really is a hard question to answer because it is pretty much impossible to even begin to try to console someone who has lost a baby.

Answer 4

I just lost a 2nd trimester pregnancy last month. No one returned my calls and I have been completely avoided other then my MIL. Just be there to talk to, maybe send a book on dealing with grief.. I just got "empty cradle broken heart" but haven't read it yet.

Also, there are necklaces that can be made of the hand or footprints and necklaces that hold cremated remains. Those are really nice gifts.

If you aren't that close an "I'm sorry for your loss" would be very nice.. even a card. But to me.. pretending like it didn't happen is really disrespectful.

Answer 5

Wait for them to want to talk about it and just listen. There is nothing you can really do or say to make them feel better, so just listen and let them know that you are there for them when they need to talk. If you have children of your own don't be offended if they don't come around or call you for a long time. It is nothing personal and is just their way of avoiding painful reminders of what they don't have. Buying a locket or something else to hold a picture of the baby is a nice gesture.

Answer 6

The best way to console a parent who has lost a baby is to just listen. If they want to talk about it then listen to them. That is the bes tthing you can do.

Answer 7

my little boy died of a rare disease when he was 16 months. what made me feel the best was just being able to talk alot about him. most people dont ask,but i wish they did. my suggestion would be to just listen and acknowledge that there was baby here.

Answer 8

Just be there for them when they need you, Let them know u r there if they want to talk and other than thatu cant really do much.