My boyfriend of 3 years and I are talking about getting married soon. we both wanted too, but he told me a few days ago that he did not want any kids. I wanted to have a baby someday and start a family, I am 23 years old! and I never have been married before, and never had a child. it is something I really want! but every time I talk about it, he yells at me, and he said if I ever wanted a child I should go stand on the street and give it to another man, because he never wants to have a baby with me. I have never been so sad in my life! what should I do? please help!
2006-12-14 13:00:58 · 7 answers · asked by Kitty 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Well it was good that this was cleared up before you went down the isle. You have to decide between 2 things; Ending everything in hopes that one day you will find someone that you want to be with who desires children or being with him for the rest of your life with never having kids. You cant marry him in hopes that he will change his mind, you would be setting yourself up for heartbreak because he may not change his mind and that's not good for either of you. If you go ahead and marry him you have to put children out of your mind, he could change his mind but didn't bank on it.
2006-12-14 13:12:44 · answer #1 · answered by Earth Law 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well i think if you want to have a child and he has a problem with it you need to find yourself another guy that is willing to give you everything you need including a child to make you and him happy
a man like this that don't want children and when you talk about it he yells need to gets to stepping. at that age you don't need no man yelling at you now cause if he's yelling now imagine what's he's gonna do in the near future if you choose to stay with him get out while you can you deserve much more and it have a lot of fish in the sea so you don't need him just find the man that will give you a child and both of you can be happy. and if a man don't want a child with a woman its because he know he gonna be unfaithful and runaround and he know that the baby will have to make him change and that what he's afraid of so don't think its you.
2006-12-14 21:39:48 · answer #2 · answered by devil gal 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you love him you'll wait for him (as what I've heard from people on here and everywhere). By the way, You're still young. Maybe he'll change his mind later.
I'm only a year younger than you, but if he loves you, he'd also consider your feelings. So this is kind of a tough question. Is there a real reason he doesn't want children? If you want, you can try and convince him, but don't "trick" him into doing anything he doesn't want or expect. Honest communication I've been told is always best.
2006-12-14 21:05:02 · answer #3 · answered by Suzy Suzee Sue 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have been together with him for 3 years, talk to him and tell him first to be nice. Whats all about the yelling? you want to have baby w him, not telling him that you are having an affair!
Ask him what makes him think that...Most men are just feeling they are not ready sweet..so if thats the problem-its not a big deal. you both are young and you can wait. if there is another problem...then you both either compromise, see a counselor or you decide what you want then...
good luck
2006-12-14 21:10:32 · answer #4 · answered by AlisonJonshon 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What does your heart tell you??? Did you guys discuss this while talking about getting married? Honey you want kids and a family, don't let this one guy stop you from having that! There are alot of gentelmen out there who want the same as you and one day he'll come into your life. Give it some time but move on from this one he's not your soul mate.
2006-12-14 21:13:57 · answer #5 · answered by sara 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you all should sit down, and state a flat out rule: no yelling.
then start talking about it:
*ask him why he doesn't want any kids with you---and "because i just don't want any kids" is NOT a valid answer---you should have a valid answer for why not
*ask him if he doesn't want to have a child, would he consider adopting one instead?
*just plain flat out talk to him
and if he keeps on yelling and raging, and not answering your questions, etc. (as i would do), i'd call a friend, and ask her if i could spend the night at her house. (if i had been you, my temper would have gotten the better of me).
2006-12-14 21:17:49 · answer #6 · answered by K.D. 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't mention anything to him about having a child just yet until he feels comfortable talking about it. He's just scared and doesn't feel comfortable talking about supporting a child with you.
2006-12-14 21:07:14 · answer #7 · answered by killerwhalesrule19 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋